A Cynic's Journey into Foreign Romantic Territory
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Always believe that I wouldn't be the type to fall in love
Too heavily guarded around my heart to let it happen
Too pragmatic to allow for such flights of fancy to exist
Have never believed in the idea of love at first sight
No such concept without truly knowing someone
Discovered the notion of attraction at first sight
When meeting my most recent ex, that feeling came about
Thought I was struck by a lightning bolt very hard
Felt an immediate spark when I first saw him walking towards me
Relieved when he sat next to me and immediately started talking
Unexpected that we managed to draw closer to a relationship
Believed that the feelings flowing through me were one sided
Surprised that he felt such a strong physical attraction for me too
Touches on the shoulder and brief embraces of the hand
Made me feel safe for a brief moment in time
Before I knew it, I was hooked like a fish on a rod
Pulled out of the watery abode onto a boat for display
Was released eventually when our mutual commitment
Better known as a bowling league ended for the specific season
Didn't see each other for a year, even though phone numbers exchanged
Came as a surprise when reunited through another league
Grew friendly and reconnected on a social basis
Decided to take a chance and hang out with him privately
Realized that something was brewing below the surface
A connection that was stronger than any physical impulse
At least for me there was one; not sure about him in the end
Grew deeper and deeper as we got to know each other
Still full of trepidations when it came to revealing my feelings
Took a chance of revealing all in such a diplomatic way
Fear of getting burned to the ground emotional and such
Turned out it was the right idea to not take the direct approach
Took a full seven months for him to return the favor
Now, not so sure if the declaration was genuine anymore
How all of a sudden those strong feelings disappeared within a year
Evaporating into the ether due to circumstances known to only them
Realized that things weren't as rosy as they appeared to be
Hid his insecurities about himself and the age difference very well
Put on such a front that I believed that there was a future to be had
Silly and a bit naïve to overlook some largely fundamental differences
Not enough experience on my part; too much on his side of equation
Even though heart was shattered and fair shaken about love
Noticed that I was capable of opening my heart to someone
Never thought I could; somewhat glad I did despite it ending badly
No fault on my end of the spectrum; just have to be a little more cautious
When time to get on the horse again and find someone else
Not ready to do so just yet; will do so soon enough.