A Cynic's Journey into Foreign Romantic Territory

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.

Always believe that I wouldn't be the type to fall in love

Too heavily guarded around my heart to let it happen

Too pragmatic to allow for such flights of fancy to exist

Have never believed in the idea of love at first sight

No such concept without truly knowing someone

Discovered the notion of attraction at first sight

When meeting my most recent ex, that feeling came about

Thought I was struck by a lightning bolt very hard

Felt an immediate spark when I first saw him walking towards me

Relieved when he sat next to me and immediately started talking

Unexpected that we managed to draw closer to a relationship

Believed that the feelings flowing through me were one sided

Surprised that he felt such a strong physical attraction for me too

Touches on the shoulder and brief embraces of the hand

Made me feel safe for a brief moment in time

Before I knew it, I was hooked like a fish on a rod

Pulled out of the watery abode onto a boat for display

Was released eventually when our mutual commitment

Better known as a bowling league ended for the specific season

Didn't see each other for a year, even though phone numbers exchanged

Came as a surprise when reunited through another league

Grew friendly and reconnected on a social basis

Decided to take a chance and hang out with him privately

Realized that something was brewing below the surface

A connection that was stronger than any physical impulse

At least for me there was one; not sure about him in the end

Grew deeper and deeper as we got to know each other

Still full of trepidations when it came to revealing my feelings

Took a chance of revealing all in such a diplomatic way

Fear of getting burned to the ground emotional and such

Turned out it was the right idea to not take the direct approach

Took a full seven months for him to return the favor

Now, not so sure if the declaration was genuine anymore

How all of a sudden those strong feelings disappeared within a year

Evaporating into the ether due to circumstances known to only them

Realized that things weren't as rosy as they appeared to be

Hid his insecurities about himself and the age difference very well

Put on such a front that I believed that there was a future to be had

Silly and a bit naïve to overlook some largely fundamental differences

Not enough experience on my part; too much on his side of equation

Even though heart was shattered and fair shaken about love

Noticed that I was capable of opening my heart to someone

Never thought I could; somewhat glad I did despite it ending badly

No fault on my end of the spectrum; just have to be a little more cautious

When time to get on the horse again and find someone else

Not ready to do so just yet; will do so soon enough.