A Break-up Addict's Relapse into the Past
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 14 years.
Thought that things were progressing normally
Since B-Day; not an actual birthday or something to celebrate
It's the day that my former boyfriend broke my heart
In a text message of all things, which was a very high school move
Avoiding drama by hiding behind a screen for cover
Realized that the fault ball wasn't in my court but theirs
Still the murkiness surrounding the idea of love
Impossible to ignore in the slightest
Next to no faith in the integrity of the opposite sex
Everything wrapped up in this integral moment
Love and heartbreak going hand in hand
Felt some repairs going on inside where the heart
Remained dormant until it felt better enough
To express true emotional evolution
It might be awhile before it resurfaces from its hibernation
Came across the two month anniversary of getting dumped
Felt more evolved in some ways and a little recidivism in others
Woke up with a metaphorical cloud over my smile and groove
Probably just tired from working a lot of hours
Want to avoid sitting at home focusing on past wounds
And regrets that can't be undone no matter how hard you try
Embarrassed to admit this to myself and aloud
I'm not as strong as I thought I was
Thought I was over this feeling of being rejected
Less sad over the idea of being tossed aside like yesterday's trash
Thankfully, can't look him up on social media anymore
Cut off all contact and tried to find a loophole for information
Stopped myself before it went any further
Don't get me wrong; I don't miss him that way
Just the physical spectre of him, not the real one
Would run away discreetly if saw him on the street
No intention of wanting him back in my life
Not even as a passing acquaintance in bowling
Those days of any type of intimacy and conversation
Have long since evaporated since that half baked exit
Putting best feet forward and trying to go upwards
Centering on finding new passions to spend time on
Helping kids going through rough times and making them smile
Would do the trick and make my heart as well as theirs feel good
Choosing a side project a little too wisely
Hesitant on being burned in that as well
Seemed silly to think that volunteer work offered a betrayal
That's where my current headspace was at
Needed some proper rest and relaxation
What the doctor ordered to get back on track
Ready to forget the past and move forward with a new future.