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3 Limericks Dedicated to Door-to-Door Salesmen

Jennifer Wilber is an author and freelance writer from Ohio. She holds a B.A. in creative writing and English.


Everyone hates being disturbed by salesmen ringing their door at all hours of the day, who try to swindle unsuspecting homeowners into purchasing everything from shoddy home-repair services to candy bars that supposedly help charity, but actually only line their own pockets. These three limericks are dedicated to the con-artists in such dishonest professions.



Here lies the poor old salesman Hector

Who tried to sell his wares at our door

The dog woke from her bed

Barked, and bit off his head

And here he lies now, forevermore



There once was a salesman named Pierre

Who claimed our home could use some repair

Quickly scam us, he tried

But his service, denied

When he left, he was mauled by a bear



Buried here is a salesman named Fred

A great offer he had, so he said

He gave his long spiel

To sell us on the “deal”

On a gnome, he did trip, cracked his head


I wrote this set of limericks after being disturbed by a few too many door-to-door solicitors. They were originally meant to be written on Halloween decoration grave stones lining my front walkway, but I didn’t get around to making them last year. There is always this Halloween!

© 2018 Jennifer Wilber

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