20 Valentine's Days Later
This will be our 20th Valentine's Day together. He's stuck with me all this time, through everything I've put him though. I love him more now than I did then.
He stuck with me even through my first psychotic episodes, and subsequent hospitalizations. Most people would have given up. Most people would have left. But not him.
The only way to make sense of this is that he truly loves me. He has not only supported me financially through this, but emotionally as well. He is ALWAYS there for me. He even leaves work when he has to, to take care of me.
This year, we are going to my favorite restaurant, where I already know what I'm going to order. It's not expensive or fancy (we can't afford that), but it is nice, and I love it there. We rarely go out, only on very special occasions. I will still wear his favorite black dress. I will put on makeup, which I almost never do anymore. I will pretend I'm young again for a while. I will pretend I'm normal again for a while. But I won't have to pretend I am enjoying myself.
yet I stay the track
from here to there I stick with you
a fork in the road is nothing
the decision is easy
there is no mistake
near or far
long or short
there is no road better
than the one I take with you
How We Met
Something happened and I lost the rest of my article while trying to edit. This is very frustrating! I don't want to attempt to recreate it now. I will just tell a little about our relationship.
We met at my mom's house when he was dating my sister. Yes I know, I will be looked down on for that. I do feel somewhat guilty about dating my sister's ex, but by the time we started dating, she was already married to someone else.
We did hide the relationship for a couple of months at first. I feel guilty about that too. I should have just been upfront about the whole thing from the beginning.
The good thing about it is that we were already friends for a couple of years before we started dating. It gave us time to get to know each other as friends first. I'm glad I had that opportunity.
Dating Someone with a Psychotic Disorder
What's it like? I don't know, but my partner does. He hasn't left yet, so it can't be that bad. He has to deal with a lot from me. He takes it in stride. I am proud of him for being so calm and collected all of the time.
He is a sweet man, and he treats me really well. I try to do the same for him. It is about mutual respect and love.
However, if we were not together, I would probably choose to be single rather than pursue a relationship. The dating scene would be too stressful for me I think. But I'm glad I never have to worry about that. I am already in love.
I'm not really sure I can call our relationship "dating" though. It is more like married life. We live together and have been together for twenty years. So I'm really not sure what to call it. And calling him my boyfriend is a bit awkward as well. We are in our mid forties. Maybe I should start calling him my "partner" or some such thing.
On Valentine's Day
On Valentine's Day, we will go out for dinner at my favorite restaurant. Just something nice. Since we rarely go out, it will be a treat for both of us. Mostly a treat for me, as he doesn't really like to go out at all. So he lets me plan it.
We will also go to some local art galleries to have a look around. I like to do this as much as I can. I have hopes that someday I will have my own work on display. This is also free to do, so it is much cheaper than a movie! This is fine, since we don't have the same tastes when it comes to movies. He doesn't like art, but he's willing to walk around with me to look.