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The Reagan Trump Interview

Updated on June 27, 2017
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Ronnie: “Donnie, Baby. You don’t just go to Saudi Arabia and go on television and sign a billion dollars arms contract. Sit back, let me tell you how to go about this. When I was the Republican pirate-in-chief, my guys wanted to support a little group called the Contras. The Contras were right-wing, just like us. So, what we did was we sold weapons to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Now, here is the good part. We took the money from the arms deal and funneled it to the Contras. Now, some say there were payments made with cocaine. But nobody ever proved it. Our friend Bush pardoned most everyone involved.”

Donnie: “What do you know? You were just a movie actor."

Ronnie: “A movie actor is at least one step up from a reality TV host. At least that’s what Nancy always told me. But that is not the point. You are starting out small. If you are going to break my record of people who worked for me being sentenced to long prison terms, you are going to have to step up your game. And man, lose some weight. Even Theodore Roosevelt stayed trimmer than you. Taft still holds the record.”

Donnie: “You are such a respected symbol of the party. One wonders how that is with all the scandals in your administration.”

Ronnie: “My Secretary of Defense had to be pardoned. Five other Administration officials had to be pardoned. My National Security Advisor plead guilty to four misdemeanors. My Chief of the Central Intelligence Agency's Central American Task Force plead guilty. It’s a game, how many careers can you destroy? My Central Intelligence Agency's Division of Covert Operations was convicted of lying to Congress. None of this, ‘I don’t recall’ nonsense, your boys are pulling. I even brought down a few party members, just with this one scandal. I am telling you Donnie, you're new to this, but you are way behind.”

Donnie: “Wasn’t there cocaine involved? Seems I remember you were President during the Cocaine Eighties.”

Ronnie: “I have not even mentioned the HUD scandal. I don’t know why you selected who you did to look over housing. There is so much money to be made by sending contracts to your contributors. My Secretary of the Interior was indicted on 24 felony counts, of course we are Republicans so we don’t go to jail.”

Donnie: “I have already issued pardons. Most of my staff carries signed pardons in their breast pockets. It is the only way I could keep them working for me.”

Ronnie: “Congratulations on all the deregulation that you have achieved. I deregulated one little thing and seven hundred and forty-seven Savings and Loans went under. We went on the hook for $160 billion dollars in taxpayer dollars. That is when we really learned our lesson. American’s don’t pay attention to how the government robs them. Well, you know that. They are now paying all your expenses. You might just bring malfeasance and larceny to a new high. I think I will maintain the record. By the end of my term, 138 administration officials had been convicted, or indicted or under investigation.”

Donnie: “I have only been in office a few months. Give me a little time. I am the greatest. I will beat your record easily. I may even bring down some Senators and Congressional Members. This goes deeper than just me and my family. Oh, that is off the record. We have banking ties strung out all over the globe. I am willing to be unpopular.”

Ronnie: “Talk about unpopular. I once did a movie with a monkey.”

Donnie: “I can top that. I stood for a picture with Paul Ryan.”

Ronnie: “I just have to mention something about this whole ‘Wall’ thing. To me, you are on the wrong side of this symbolism. Those dirty commie rats built a wall around Berlin. That wall stood from 1961 to 1989. One of the good things I am remembered for is saying, “Mr.Gorbachev, tear down that wall.”

Donnie: “I am going to build the wall. It will be a beautiful wall. A fortune will be made with the fifty billion dollar contract.”

Ronnie: “Any wall you build will be torn down. Your legacy will be dismantled. You are early in your Presidency, but you are going to be remembered poorly.”

Donnie: “The USSR fell. Russia was family run for centuries. Now, the iron fist is in place and the people have only the right to work for the leader. That is what we need here.”

Donnie paused, picked up his phone and tweeted, ‘You have the right to work until you die.’ Then turned his attention back to Ronald Reagan.

Ronnie: “In the late Forties, I fought to keep the Reds out of Hollywood. We fought them in the Fifties, we fought them in the Sixties and Seventies.” He scratched his head. “So what gives?”

Donnie: “American banks would not loan me money for my activities. So, my family met with Russian money and they fixed that problem. They did favors, we did favors. It is just about the money. Well, with me it is just about the money.”

Ronnie: “Listen. You have to learn to play to the cameras. You are always frowning and scowling and smirking. Get a game face. This is entertainment after all. All the back room dealings should be kept in the back room. Don’t bring Russians into the Oval office for photo shoots. You need a writer or a batch of writers. You need to memorize your lines. You need to gracefully improvise. Stop pointing your finger at people and saying it's their fault. Get good at acting your job. You are the head salesman now. Get out there and sell. Put some glamour in it.”

Donnie: “I have let cameras into my luxury accommodations in Florida. People can see that if they work hard, they too can live in a golden façade of opulence, just like my family.”

Ronnie: “You don’t want to be remembered as the ‘Exploitation President’, or the ‘Illegitimate President’ or the ‘Eviscerated President.’”

The hooded dungeon-master interrupted, “Time is up Ronald. Time to go back to the ninth level of purgatory to serve out your first one hundred and fifty years chained to a dungeon wall.”

Donnie and Ronnie stood and embraced.

Ronnie waving over his shoulder calls: “See you soon.”

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Bobby Fuller Four - I Fought The Law ( And The Law Won) Lyrics

© 2017 mckbirdbks

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    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello John Gentile – So sorry to hear that your Mom has Alzheimers. It is a tragedy that many families suffer. I hope she is getting the best care possible and that you are balancing the stress. Ronald Reagan was charismatic, yet he headed the worst administration until now. I predict that many of Trump’s staff and some of his children end up in Federal prison. We shall see.

      I appreciate your comment.

    • johnmariow profile image

      John Gentile 4 months ago from Connecticut

      This short story is fantastic. I loved it. You are are really creative.

      Having said that, Ronald Reagan ended up with Alzheimer's disease.

      My mom had Alzheimer's disease. The first sign of it was in 1990 when after having driven a car for years, she asked where the brake pedal was. She gradually lost her ability to reason things out. By the year 2000, she was mostly dysfunctional. She owned a two family house and had tenants. She could not understand why she had to pay for repairs of a window in the tenant's apartment. She would forget how to put her blouse on. Finally, we had to place her in a nursing home because she needed 24 hour care.

      I suspect that the attempted assassination triggered Reagan's struggle with Alzheimer's. When Reagan said, "I don't recall." I think he truly did not recall.

      I prefer to remember Ronald Reagan's earlier years. Like during the 1980 Presidential debates when he gave his famous response to Jimmy Carter; "There you go again -- misinterpreting everything I say!"

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – I could not have said it better. ‘We are stalled in some Twilight Zone dream’ – well said. It makes my head spin, that there are people that act like this is normal. That it is just a Republican vs Democrat thing. There is nothing normal about what is going on. The dismantling of long held belief and tradition is appalling. The guy will likely be wearing laurel wreaths on his head before this is over. For all the blatantly criminal activity going on, you would think that arrests would be made. Though like I mentioned, ‘Republicans don’t go to jail.’ I predict the worst is still ahead of us. The economy is going to crash, once again under the imbecilic ‘free market’ thinkers.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 4 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Hi Mike. I always enjoy these interviews. When I read this title, I thought, oh boy, this one's gotta be good. :-) And I suspected that the Iran-Contra affair would come into focus. Sure enough -- you never disappoint. The gem of this piece: "Ronnie: “A movie actor is at least one step up from a reality TV host." But ouch. There are bound to be Reagan fans who will not like this installment. I remember well while he was in office how people teased and joked sometimes and said, "Our president has Alzheimer's." Personally, I liked RR from a personable perspective, but he was not my favorite president. At least he gave the WH some dignity which has disappeared from the Oval Office altogether since January of 2017. It has been replaced with crass buffoonery. And I'm being polite. I look at what is going on now and feel that we are stalled in some gross Twilight Zone dream -- this can't be real. Great writing, Mike.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - I know you are out there having fun at the farmers market. There must be an alternate universe where no Bush, Reagan, or Stump exist. Thanks for the visit.

      Fighting with old computer all day.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 months ago from Olympia, WA

      So very late...I'm sorry.

      The thing about Trump...he's doing something I didn't think was possible...he's making me miss Reagan and Bush.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Randi - I do think the trappings of power catch up with men/women that find themselves drawn into that world. Some men have strength of character others do not. One thing about Reagan, he kept hidden the handlers. The current fellow is out in the open as to who controls him. Thank you for visiting this satire.

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 4 months ago from Mesa, AZ

      Interesting and well done. It is a strange world we live in and a little frightening!

      It's bad enough that power goes to most of our heads but these two took/take that to a different level!

      Thank you for sharing!

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy Rose Lee - Ronnie had charisma, Donnie not so much. He is trying to lead by intimidation and it is not going to work. Thanks for the visit.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 4 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy - I don't know why voters can't keep in their heads that every time a Republican is at the helm, they crash the economy. Reagan's recession was pretty tough, the Savings and Loan crisis was due to deregulation.

      Thanks for the blessings.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 4 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Love this Donnie and Ronnie. lol As I read through the interview I could just hear Reagan's voice in my mind and his various expressions. I didn't even want to image Donnie's many grimaces.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 months ago from Texas

      Mike, I love how you reminded us of the corruption of the Reagan years and how cheesy the trump regime is. This is great.

      Blessings my friend

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 5 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Alan Robert Lancaster – Reagan had charisma. His administration behind the scenes may be the worst in our history until now. I base that on the prison terms dished out and the indictments. As for Donnie, he thinks the U.S. is a corporation. He is going to find out what it is like to be ‘fired’. Also, his kids are going to find out that they are not above the law. The son-in-law, already hired an expensive lawyer. The fastest growing segment of the country is the need for lawyers.

    • alancaster149 profile image

      Alan R Lancaster 5 months ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

      Working with a chimp obviously didn't harm Ronnie's prospects. He rose to the presidency and his speech-writer never looked back, although Ronnie couldn't open his mouth without consulting his speech-writer. Then we learned he had Alzheimer's. I suspect Donnie's headed down the same path, but at least Ronnie had charisma. Donnie's going to have to learn the hard way, trampling on people's toes.

      Is that how he runs his business empire? ("You failed to deliver. You're fired!")

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 5 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie – It seems to me that the corrupt did not seem to be so bold. They stole their millions, but did not shove your face into it as they were doing it. Today’s reptiles are embolden, as they never seem to face any consequences. I saw a poll today that said the image of the U.S. abroad has taken a hit, as the new leader’s actions have tarnished us. Maybe we can get the image back. Maybe not. Thank you for the visit. We all seemed to be focused on politics across the globe. A financially backed global assault in being waged against us.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 5 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar – Yes, the T as he now calls himself. Oh, and it started as Donald Trump, then went to The Donald and now the T. He knows he is disappearing. The T has a good agent, these interviews highlight how much he has in common with fictional characters, live characters and stick figures.

      The folks with the snippers are out in force, so I also hope the video makes it. I might have to write a carriage driver story about HP.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 5 months ago from South Africa

      Well, one thing is a fact like a cow - as we say in my language - Whether you live in Africa, Europa, the USA, or wherever in this world, power corrupts...

      The Donald listen to nobody but the Donald. Sadly, the entire USA is going to bear the consequences. Just like the entire SA bears the traumatic consequences of the doings of its extremely corrupt and incompetent leader and his cronies.

      All generations were, are, and will be the victims of their government.

      Eye-opening discussion between Reagan and Trump!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Donnie has quite the agent setting up this interview series - what a 'soup to nuts' assortment of personalities.

      Here's hoping this video stays - love it!

      Happy Tuesday, Mike. Hugs, mar