The Madoff Trump Interview
Trump: What are you doing here? You are not in my league at all. I am a little offended that this interview was arranged.
Madoff: Not in your league. That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in years.
Right off the bat, I would like to give you warning. Your family is in the way of a brute force that you may not realize. You have the fortitude to withstand the tornado forces that swirl around you. Because you, can you falsely think that your family can also.
Trump: What are you talking about? My kids are the best. They are strong and the ultimate fighters.
Madoff: That is what I thought also. Then one son took his own life. All those that he thought were his friends turned against him once they found that the money they entrusted to me was gone. All of it was spent on my excesses and my desire for gluttony. His wife left, he found himself isolated, and tormented. He couldn’t take it. You have to prepare for that.
Trump: Didn’t your sons turn you in?
Madoff: Yes, but it was prearranged. When the world financial markets tumbled there was no longer a way to do the slight of hand I was unable to manipulate the numbers and there were more Peters than Pauls. Meaning people wanted their money, and I had already spent it on cars and boats.
Trump: You defrauded people. I am a business man.
Madoff: What about that university you ran? The courts did not agree with you that the students who believed in you got what they paid for.
Trump: That Hispanic judge had a grudge against me. I employe Hispanics throughout my Entertainment, and Luxury accommodation facilities. Yet he takes a few words out of context and judges against me.
Madoff: In prison I wear the same color clothes every day. Each inmate wears identical clothing. They take away as much of your personality as they can. There is no bar to hang around to swap your stories.
Trump: Why do you tell me this? I am the leader of the strongest country in the world. I am untouchable. The United States has never put a sitting President into prison. Sure, some underlinings have served short periods in Federal penitentiaries, but never the President.
Madoff: That is true. No president brings his family so close to the flames before. Will your constitution allow you to stand by as your children are sentenced for crimes?
Trump: That won't happen. I’ll fire anyone directly involved in any action against my family. I hold full authority over every person in America. I have more power than any king in the history of the world.
Madoff: Are you moving forward at the pace that you indicated in your campaign? There are people throwing themselves in your way. There are people marching in cities all over the world. Your agenda is not their agenda. Many people trusted me. They were happy when they opened up their quarterly statements. I made people feel good. For years I was the star on top the Christmas tree. But in the end, I had no friends. I had no family standing by my side. Is that the legacy that you are pursuing?
Trump: You are a con artist and a cheat. I am a business man. I have global dealings. There is money to be made. So, I make it. We are different. The law applies to you.
Madoff: When my fund was at its peak, only a couple of thousand people knew my name. I ran a business. Large funds of money were placed with me. I tell you this because before you were president, nobody really paid any attention to you. You could do your three card Monte table tricks and no one cared. Now, you have the whole country looking at you. You play golf and there are long lens cameras pointing at you. Your boys shoot a giraffe and the whole green thinking world stops what they are doing and boos you. I balanced a fifty billion dollar shadow on a four hundred million dollar focal point. I think that is more of a balancing act than you are doing.
Trump: What are you talking about. I just signed a hundred and ten billion dollar deal with Saudi Arabia. I, also, negotiated with Boeing on military spending programs.
Madoff: That was real money. The money that the citizens contributed. You are a real estate agent who happens to handle high ticket items. Then you earn that money and blow it on bankrupt ideas. You pumped up your good name. Now there are many people that don’t think your name is so good. Donald. My name will be forgotten to history. Those that I hurt will pass on and the memories of the pain will be forgotten. You are heading for a place in history which you are not aiming. You have already earned an asterisk next to your name. You are the president that had an assist from a foreign power. An enemy of the State.
Trump: No one is going to prove that. I will hire the best lawyers to defend my family. As you know, my son-in-law is wealthy. He has the best legal counsel in Manhattan on retainer. My personal businesses employ many really good lawyers.
Madoff: I think you are proving my point. Through this whole conversation you have not spoken of what you want to do to make the United States of America better. The United States is the number one country in the world only in military might. By many other measures we score lower on the lists. There are forty-three countries in the world that score higher on infant mortality rates the we do. We fall below Cuba on that list.
Trump: You robbed thousands of people. You robbed from your own family members. You are hated by all those that trusted you, had faith in you, believed what you told them. How is it you can sit there and tell me these things? I am beloved by all those that believe in me. They want to believe me, they need to believe in me, they trust in me.
Madoff: I am just suggesting that you make your mark rather than leave a scar. That’s all.
The door of the interview room opened. The Correctional Guard entered. “Time Mr. Madoff.”
Madoff rose to his feet and walked towards the door. He turned to Trump, “Is there any message you want me to carry to your White House advisors?"
I hope you enjoyed my parody of a fictionalized interview between two money moguls..
Questions & Answers
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