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The Madoff Trump Interview

Updated on May 23, 2017
Portfolio, a business imprint within the Penguin Publishing Group.
Portfolio, a business imprint within the Penguin Publishing Group.

Trump: What are you doing here? You are not in my league at all. I am a little offended that this interview was arranged.

Madoff: Not in your league. That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in years.

Right off the bat, I would like to give you warning. Your family is in the way of a brute force that you may not realize. You have the fortitude to withstand the tornado forces that swirl around you. Because you, can you falsely think that your family can also.

Trump: What are you talking about? My kids are the best. They are strong and the ultimate fighters.

Madoff: That is what I thought also. Then one son took his own life. All those that he thought were his friends turned against him once they found that the money they entrusted to me was gone. All of it was spent on my excesses and my desire for gluttony. His wife left, he found himself isolated, and tormented. He couldn’t take it. You have to prepare for that.

Trump: Didn’t your sons turn you in?

Madoff: Yes, but it was prearranged. When the world financial markets tumbled there was no longer a way to do the slight of hand I was unable to manipulate the numbers and there were more Peters than Pauls. Meaning people wanted their money, and I had already spent it on cars and boats.

Trump: You defrauded people. I am a business man.

Madoff: What about that university you ran? The courts did not agree with you that the students who believed in you got what they paid for.

Trump: That Hispanic judge had a grudge against me. I employe Hispanics throughout my Entertainment, and Luxury accommodation facilities. Yet he takes a few words out of context and judges against me.

Madoff: In prison I wear the same color clothes every day. Each inmate wears identical clothing. They take away as much of your personality as they can. There is no bar to hang around to swap your stories.

Trump: Why do you tell me this? I am the leader of the strongest country in the world. I am untouchable. The United States has never put a sitting President into prison. Sure, some underlinings have served short periods in Federal penitentiaries, but never the President.

Madoff: That is true. No president brings his family so close to the flames before. Will your constitution allow you to stand by as your children are sentenced for crimes?

Trump: That won't happen. I’ll fire anyone directly involved in any action against my family. I hold full authority over every person in America. I have more power than any king in the history of the world.

Madoff: Are you moving forward at the pace that you indicated in your campaign? There are people throwing themselves in your way. There are people marching in cities all over the world. Your agenda is not their agenda. Many people trusted me. They were happy when they opened up their quarterly statements. I made people feel good. For years I was the star on top the Christmas tree. But in the end, I had no friends. I had no family standing by my side. Is that the legacy that you are pursuing?

Trump: You are a con artist and a cheat. I am a business man. I have global dealings. There is money to be made. So, I make it. We are different. The law applies to you.

Madoff: When my fund was at its peak, only a couple of thousand people knew my name. I ran a business. Large funds of money were placed with me. I tell you this because before you were president, nobody really paid any attention to you. You could do your three card Monte table tricks and no one cared. Now, you have the whole country looking at you. You play golf and there are long lens cameras pointing at you. Your boys shoot a giraffe and the whole green thinking world stops what they are doing and boos you. I balanced a fifty billion dollar shadow on a four hundred million dollar focal point. I think that is more of a balancing act than you are doing.

Trump: What are you talking about. I just signed a hundred and ten billion dollar deal with Saudi Arabia. I, also, negotiated with Boeing on military spending programs.

Madoff: That was real money. The money that the citizens contributed. You are a real estate agent who happens to handle high ticket items. Then you earn that money and blow it on bankrupt ideas. You pumped up your good name. Now there are many people that don’t think your name is so good. Donald. My name will be forgotten to history. Those that I hurt will pass on and the memories of the pain will be forgotten. You are heading for a place in history which you are not aiming. You have already earned an asterisk next to your name. You are the president that had an assist from a foreign power. An enemy of the State.

Trump: No one is going to prove that. I will hire the best lawyers to defend my family. As you know, my son-in-law is wealthy. He has the best legal counsel in Manhattan on retainer. My personal businesses employ many really good lawyers.

Madoff: I think you are proving my point. Through this whole conversation you have not spoken of what you want to do to make the United States of America better. The United States is the number one country in the world only in military might. By many other measures we score lower on the lists. There are forty-three countries in the world that score higher on infant mortality rates the we do. We fall below Cuba on that list.

Trump: You robbed thousands of people. You robbed from your own family members. You are hated by all those that trusted you, had faith in you, believed what you told them. How is it you can sit there and tell me these things? I am beloved by all those that believe in me. They want to believe me, they need to believe in me, they trust in me.

Madoff: I am just suggesting that you make your mark rather than leave a scar. That’s all.

The door of the interview room opened. The Correctional Guard entered. “Time Mr. Madoff.”

Madoff rose to his feet and walked towards the door. He turned to Trump, “Is there any message you want me to carry to your White House advisors?"

I hope you enjoyed my parody of a fictionalized interview between two money moguls..

© 2017 mckbirdbks

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    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 5 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Gypsy - Like I have said. This administration is temporary. Now we are busy defining the term. Thanks for visiting this little parody of a very unpolished administration.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 5 months ago from Riga, Latvia

      Well another interview that makes me keep seeing that silly sneering face that unfortunately is the President of a once great nation.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Ruby - It looks like somebody is going to jail. American presidents do not normally get prison terms. Pity. In the Nixon era, 40 people close to the president were sentenced. So, this will become interesting. I am impatient for an arrest.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 months ago from Southern Illinois

      This was a great read, two cons trying to outdo the other. I liked the last question Madoff asked. To my way of thinking Trump will soon join them...

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      • Hello Kathleen – Thank you. I have a small, loyal group of readers. It is rare that someone new shows up and leaves a comment. Have a great week.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Genna – Thank you. These were fun to do. But other than Rocky Balboa, I can’t see these continuing. ha

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Shy – Maybe we are just one large criminal organization. Sad to think about. I think you are right that there will be no resignation or impeachment. Though I think the financial issues will grab up a few of his allies and put them in prison for a short time.

      Thanks for the blessings

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 6 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      mck: Glad to provide some positive feedback and hope it helps this creative piece draw greater numbers of readers.

    • profile image

      Genna East 6 months ago

      I loved the closing twist, Mike. Well done and superbly written!

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 6 months ago from Texas

      Hello Mike, I know that Madoff got caught and is now in prison, and Nixon resigned, but I keep thinking of Reagan and how Oliver North was selling arms to the enemy, he was found guilty then all of a sudden his conviction was overturned and he was given his own show "War Stories"... so much for the Great Ronald Reagan, demanding 'tear down this wall!' 6/12/1987 the wall was torn down in 1999.

      Don't believe trump will resign or be impeached.

      Blessings my friend

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello mar - Prison is prison. Madoff's financial crimes hurt thousands. These so called white collar crimes have repercussions that can last generations. I am getting a sense, that some of those that reached the White House are going to find out. They may learn what the law is for. They clearly have no idea now.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 6 months ago from Jeffersonville PA

      “It’s actually very pretty. More like a college campus. Everything is provided for you.” (Madoff on Prison)

      I guess sometimes truth is stranger than fiction, dear Mike.

      Looks like you have plenty to pick from as far as potential interview parodies with the POTUS. I also love your last line best.

      Have a peaceful evening. Hugs, mar

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Bill - It appears that there are people that are going to jail. The criminal investigation is going to uncover the rock of campaign irregularities. The whole issue of dirty money is going to cause some prosecutors to rise to the occasion.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hello Martie - The responsibilities of the WH are already taking their toll. The hounds are in a feeding frenzy in Washington DC and the people of the country are going to pay a high price for the mistake.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 6 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Great final line! Simply great! And we can probably expect it to come to fruition soon. The clock is ticking on this farce of an administration.

    • MartieCoetser profile image

      Martie Coetser 6 months ago from South Africa

      A very discrete and thought-provoking comparison. You should consider more interviews with the man who believe he's the best and mightiest soul on earth.

    • mckbirdbks profile image
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      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Hi Kathleen Cochran - OK I put that news in the summary. I do have this posted in the category of creative writing. Thanks for the visit.

    • Kathleen Cochran profile image

      Kathleen Cochran 6 months ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I think you should lead with the fact this is a parody. And I'm not by any measure a supporter of Trump. I still think it is misleading.