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The Hurricane Katrina Trump Interview

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I am here with Hurricane Katrina and Donald Trump. Let’s begin with you Katrina.

Katrina: ‘Blowhard!!!”

Trump: “You have your nerve.”

Katrina: “I knew you were going to go low, so I decided to go there first. Two can play at this.”

Trump: “You were a storm that caused multiple deaths and billions in destruction to the United States.”

Katrina: “Are you listening to yourself? And they call me a Tropical Depression.”

Trump: “I have promised. Given my solemn oath to drain the swamp.”

Katrina: “Me too. I hit the Delta hard. I caused pain and suffering to millions. And now you seem set to do the same. I am proclaiming to be among the five deadliest storms in U.S. History. ”

Trump: “I intend to change the face of the continent. Then I will have the history books rewritten to proclaim my genius.”

Katrina: “Only the 1935 Labor Day hurricane and Hurricane Camille are on the books as being a worse storm than myself.”

Trump: “I will admit, off the record, that Nixon and Reagan, are going to be tough to top. But I have an idea. Like you, I am going to come in and cause as much damage as I possibly can. Then go on my way leaving a giant mess to be cleaned up in my wake. What do you think? Brilliant, right? Well, it is not dumb. There is profit in chaos.”

Katrina: “I did a great deal of damage in Florida, Louisiana and Texas. Aren’t those your States?”

Trump: “My States. Like I told them, now that they voted for me, I don’t need them anymore. Money and I mean a lot of money, that is what I am interested in. You know what you can do when you have billions at your disposal?”

Katrina: “No, I don’t. I am a hurricane.”

Trump: “You destroyed so much, including casino barges. Let me tell you I have destroyed a few casinos in my time. Hey, I understand that we both have spent about the same time in the courts. You were mentioned again and again in the violation of the Flood Control Act of 1965. Me, I have been mentioned in violation of everything else.”

Katrina: “I have sparked more investigations than you have. There were resignations and criticism of both mayors and Governors. Even a President. And don’t forget, the 108 billion dollars.”

Trump: “I have only just begun. There will be so many investigations. Oh, so many, they will be hard to count. And deaths, that remains to be seen.”

Katrina: “How was I to know the levees were not going to hold? I was just going to blow into town, cause a little destruction, then blow out of town. I feel kind of bad for the 1,800 people. They mostly drowned in the flooding aftermath. I was so strong, I even impacted Canada.”

Trump: “Oh, believe me, I am going to impact Canada. Those sly, crafty, cunning Mounties, are not going to take advantage of us anymore.”

Katrina leaned forward: “If you are so tough, why hasn’t anyone ordered a state of emergency? Why is there no National Guard out in the streets?”

Trump: “Believe me, I will order the National Guard into the streets. People will think twice. Talk about your state of emergency. I am a force to be reckoned with. I intend to put more people on the streets than you can imagine.”

Katrina: “I activated the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, National Hurricane Center, The National Weather Service, and and and...I can go on.”

Trump: “None of those are funded in my new budget plan. What good did any of them do? All the preparation in the world and you did all that destruction anyway. If the whole government had stayed home we could not have stopped you. And they cannot stop me. Not one bit.”

Katrina: “I was a storm that most of you have long feared.”

Trump: “Fear is a sign of respect. That has long been established. Fear is respect. My family will be the most respected of families. All the other families will bow to us.”

Katrina: “I left millions without food, water, electricity. I made millions homeless. Had the government not stepped in it would have changed the way America looked to the rest of the world.”

Trump: “Just you wait, Hurricane Katrina. I will be the worst storm to ever hit the shores of these here United States. Just you wait. And for the rest of the world, I don’t care what they think of the United States. We have been the leader of the free world long enough.”

Katrina: “The United States recovered from me. They rebuilt and were stronger for it. They will recover from you also.”

Trump: ‘Blowhard!!!”

Katrina: “You have your nerve.”

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