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The Don Quixote Trump Interview


Narrator: Don Quixote, thank you for agreeing to this meeting today. We know you are busy.

Don Q: “So, you finally realized you are just like me? But you arrived here by a different route.”

Don T: “What’da mean by that? You went off chasing windmills. I never chased a windmill in my life.”

Don Q: “I set out to right wrongs. To defend chivalry. To protect the poor. While you, who will reach all the same conclusions that I reached went another route. You set out to wrong rights. Defeat chivalry in all its forms. And to protect the rich. But you will soon come to the same conclusions.”

Don T to the narrator: “Who booked this? I could be out in the countryside hitting golf balls.”

Don Q: “I spent much time out in the countryside. Is there very much left of it? I saw very little on my way over here. I was idealistic once, as you are now. The mind plays tricks on you as you get older.”

Don T: “I am of noble birth. You are a common man. What do they call you? The Man with No Means?”

Don Q: “Do you mean Man of La Mancha? Yes, I have been called that. I have been called many things. As, I am sure you have. I set out to revive the Golden Age of Chivalry where corruption didn't yet exist.”

Don T: “You’ve come to the wrong place. This is Washington, D.C. the center of corruption and I am the leader.”

Don Q: “From our acorn days, we have grown into an unhealthy oak. It is a shame. The wealth provided by the land is all that is important. I have taken up my lance and my sword to defend the helpless.”

Don T: “Ah, ha, a Democrat. I knew it.”

Don Q: “Sancho sometimes talked as if knighthood, kingdoms, empires and islands as if they were windy blather and lies. You seem like a man who knows much about windy blather and lies. Are you literate?”

Don T: “I can read a bank statement. I mostly like pictures in graphs.”

Don Q: “It’s a shame. You should have read. As long as you escaped reality, you would at least of had somewhere to go.”

Don T: “I am the most powerful man in the world. I command great armies. My Legions spend their evenings thinking of new and higher praise for me. And if they don’t I fire them.”

Don Q: “I lived in the creative realm of a universe where what men spoke and how men acted meant something. You seem to preside over a fantasy realm where the truth has been banished to obscurity. What life is that?”

Don T: “Well, there is caviar. And there is French wine. And when you are a star like I am, women let you do whatever you want. When you are a big star like me.”

Don Q: “What? Is there no longer room for love? Are maidens no longer considered the fair sex? Sir, you must immediately change course. There is time to correct the decline.”

Don T: “Don’t get hysterical. Get a doctor. Wait, can you afford a doctor? Never mind. He will be alright. Get him a drink of water. I can afford to give him a drink of water.”

Don Q: “So, you are saying the world has become a place of no morals, no ethics, and no scruples? How is there not open conflict in the street? How is it there is no crisis of the people turning to any device possible to escape the tortures of their daily lives? You’re saying people have no rights other than what money can buy? They have only the one goal to toil from the time they rise to the time they fall back into the escape of sleep? Have you no knight-errant?”

Don T: “We gave the people Superman and Batman and Dennis Rodman. They seemed satisfied with that.”

Don Q scratches his beard: “Sancho in the evenings by the fireside would tell me that he believed there was a world as you describe. But only a madman, a madder culture, could live like that. A world without enchantment. Dulcinea, are you hearing this? After all these years the peasants and goat herders and shepherds are considered just beasts of the field. The days of homespun philosophy have been chased out.”

Don T: “The rich have always ruled. That is how it was in your day. And that is how it will always be.”

Don Q: “Here there is no honor? Is there no romance? Are there no longer men? Thinking men, who can puzzle out their own existence? Has literature, died?”

Don T: “Here we just do what we want. I suppose there is honor. I really don’t know. I never pursued honor. As for romance. That’s time consuming. You just write a contract, and if the woman signs it, then that is it. No need for love. Love is an illusion anyway.”

Don Q: “I was hoping to learn something here today. The world has changed, the men have given up everything in pursuit of social status. The women are looked upon like the peasants in the field. True civilization is in the other direction.”

Don T: “I am number one in this society. I will even surpass you as a madman. When people think, ‘who is the maddest of them all, it will be my name that comes to their lips.”

Don Q: “Sancho said, that excessive ambition only creates trouble. You seemed to have reached the pinnacle of trouble. Why do the people tolerate this?”

Don T: “I have told them what they hear is not true. What they see is not true. Unless I say it it is false. Enough people believe me. They are hungry for someone to show them the way. They must have someone to tell them what to think and when. I make them believe that I will take care of them.”

Don Q mumbles to himself: “No honor, no romance, lies are truth and truth are lies. Their women are not respected, the poor are walked upon. The world is spun on a loom of lies. Corruption, is honor. Lust, is romance.” He looked around. “Sancho, ready Rocinante and Dapple, we have much work to do.” Don Q pulls his helmet snugly in place, the sides shield his eyes.

Don T pleased with himself: “Oh, those Democrats, they will never learn.” He stands; an aide walks toward him. “How is the stock market doing today?”

There is a scream heard in the hall. “Get that horse and donkey out of here. Who is going to clean this up?”

Beethoven "Moonlight" Sonata op 27 # 2 Mov 3 Valentina Lisitsa

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