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Pathetic Couple. Act Six.

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At Kate’s residence. Some days later.

Stella- (screams from the sitting room) Kate! Someone is at the door, go get it!

Kate- Why can’t you? Are you lame?

Stella- No I think I’m pregnant, so I want to sit throughout today, if I lose this baby....

Kate- Okay enough! You always get to me with this your baby story, just wishing for when it will be real. (Getting up from the chair in the sitting room to go get the door, only to open and behold Frank) Frank! Frank! Oh no Frank! She repeated like a teenager.

Frank- Yes my angel it is I.

Kate- Oh my God Frank! What you doing here? Oh my God I don’t even have ear-rings on and no makeup. Oh my God and am wearing a house dress, for the love of my pretty soul did you have to choose this time and hour? Why didn’t you call me? (Looking terrified)

Frank- Please don’t take a step back, I want to be real and I want you to be real too. Look at me- Tee- shirt, jeans and Pam slippers and definitely no act. So right here, right now, let’s correct all wrongs. Please Kate give me your hand.

Stella- Oh my God Kate, what you waiting for? (She announced her presence with a question)

Kate- You Stella. (Without looking back) To walk up and lock the door after I leave, and I do hope your next baby story will be real.

Stella- (laughs) Amen to that. Bye! She shouts enthusiastically as she watches them leave.

pathetic-couple-act-six

Two Weeks Later.


Kate and Frank in the beach sitting on the sand.



Kate- Oh Frank I cannot believe this is us at last! And we are two weeks old today.

Frank- Yeah I remember when I gave you a surprise visit two weeks ago and that was it! Now nothing can ever separate us.

Kate- Yeah! But do you know this is our fourth date in two weeks? If you continue like this what time will you have to sell insurance?

Frank- Oh am I not selling insurance here? You are my life insurance!

Kate- Very funny. I’m serious, don’t want you to go brook and lose your big clients.

Frank- Well I am interested in winning a very big client and for life I will forever be happy.

Kate- Really? Who is this client?

Frank- Infact that client will yield three times interest for me.

Kate- Really!

Frank- Yeah, two boys and a girl.

Kate- Excuse me?

Frank- Getting on his knees: Kate Okoye will you be the mother of my kids and the wife of this good for nothing man kneeling down here (brings out a ring) please Kate cloth me with dignity by saying yes.

Kate- Frank it’s barely two weeks we started dating. Gasping for breath she reminded him.

Frank- You don’t need forever to recognize true love when you see it. Hon we’ve felt it, please lets seal it forever in marriage, a perfect bond of union. Baby please I can’t live without you, I want to wake up every morning to see your beautiful face lying next to mine. Please marry me baby, please hon what do you say?

Kate- Slide the ring Frankie!!!!! She screamed.

Frank- Oh my God!!! (He lifts her up into the air running around) You know what? For the fact we skipped long dating and replaced them with a few dates, I want us to skip the things people do while dating, like: kissing. I want to prove to you that I am not doing this for selfish gratification but because I love you.

Kate- I want magic Frank and I want it on our wedding night, so I will say yes to that. I want to have my first kiss on our wedding night and only then there shall be no limit.

Frank- You got it my princess, you got it!

Kate- Oh my God I’m engaged! (screams) let me call Peace (dials her number) and Peace’s voice was as cheerful as usual.

Peace- Hey ka-tie .

Kate- Hey girlfriend how you doing?

Peace- Perfect.

Kate- Okay I’ve gat gist for ya, so meet me at my house I am on my way home.

Peace- Wow thank God! At last something juicy has come up, so how did you break up with Frankie boy.

Kate- (laughing) you are not serious. Far from it honey. Meet me at home and find out.

Peace- Okay I am on my way to your house babe. See ya.

Kate- (hangs phone) Oh I can’t wait to gist them. I am engaged!!

pathetic-couple-act-six

Kate's home that evening.

Stella- (on phone) For Christ sakes, I told you I am married! Didn’t you see my ring that day? Stop calling me and telling me such nonsense! (Hangs call)

Peace- Who was that? She asked Stella.

Stella- One silly guy I met, he was just all over me telling me how beautiful I am and that he just needs my number so we can be just friends, and that was after I told him I am married. I didn’t want to give him but he was so persistent and I didn’t want him to create a scene because we were in public, so I just gave him my number. And now he can’t let me rest.

Peace- Haa! Is that all? Babe if you want the guy to stop, then just tell him to send you recharge card and he will stop calling you straight!

Stella- (laughing) Peace! Abeg you funny die. So you mean Kate actually called you to come over tonight that she has gist for you? She changed the topic.

Peace- Yes o! And I just cannot wait to hear what it is, don’t know why she’s staying this long.

Kate- (opens the door) Hey ladies! And I know Peace is here because as usual she forgot to lock the door when she came in. Don’t let armed robbers come rob us one day o!

Peace- At last! I was almost giving up out of gist dehydration, what took you so long?

Kate- I’m engaged!!

Stella and peace- WHAT!!

Peace- But why?

Stella- Are you insane?

Kate- Hey sis, remember you dated Tom for just one year, and Peace has been dating for the past four years now with nothing to show for it.

Stella- Honey I dated for a year before I got engaged! Yours is just two weeks!

Kate- Be happy for me, at least I’m off the market. It’s two down and one remaining (starring at peace)

Godwin opens the door and walks in on them.

Godwin- Good evening everyone!

Peace- Now see who forgot to lock the door. Staring at Kate. It’s past 8pm Godwin what you doing here in a girls habitat?

Kate- Oh Godwin see what happened to my hand! (Raising up her left hand with all pleasure)

Godwin- Oh my God you hurt? (getting concerned but sees the ring and freezes) what on earth!

Kate- I am not hurt guy, I’ve been bought and endowed by Frank Adebanjo.

Godwin- Oh God! You are really hurt. You are mentally ill, how can you say yes to a guy you barely know? Is that why you called me over like it’s an emergency?

Kate- I know him, I don’t need forever to know him. He loves me, I love him, he’s the one for me.

Godwin- Oh yeah! How come you’ve not known all these years that I’m in love with you?

Peace- At last he spoketh. (Covers her face with her hands)

Kate- Gody...

Godwin- Please (cuts her off) don’t call me that, I hate it! That’s what your Frank calls me. Good night. He turns to leave.

Kate- Gody.. Em Godwin I never knew....

(Bangs door)

Stella- And at last she knoweth. How could you not know Kate? That guy has been raising a dog for your bride price since last year. When a calaber man raises a dog for a year and does not eat it, then you know it is for bride price.

Peace- Common Stella don’t be so mean! The guy just got heartbroken. Woof woof.( rolling on the floor with laughter)

© 2021 Jade George Anibor

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