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Pathetic Couple. Act Fourteen.

I am a writer and a poet. Certified in; English in career development. A digital marketer and a Business Developer I love books!


( Kate is standing with one leg over the bridge)

Kate- Peace is that you? (She asked as she saw Peace highlight from her sports car).

Peace- Yes honey it is I.

Kate- But what took you so long? You do know I’m about to kill myself right?

Peace- Of course you told me that over the phone, over an hour ago, it’s hard not to remember. I just stopped by at a store to buy a bottle of wine on my way down here. (pops it and sits on her car)

Kate- What (in shock) Are you insane! I am about to kill myself and you go shopping for a bottle of wine?

Peace- Me insane? Honey I’m sitting on my car drinking a bottle of wine and you are one leg over the bridge, gosh please who’s insane here?

Kate- I am about to kill myself.

Peace- And that’s why I bought wine so we can drink to your death. Infact I bought two glasses incase you want a glass before you die. Oh common Kate please have a sip, it will be a waste if you just die without tasting this wine. (Sips hers)

Kate- My goodness!

Peace- Okay fine you don’t want to drink then hurry up and die. Hmm this wine is delicious just what I need to watch this movie my best friend is acting.

Kate- You call me your best friend? I can’t believe my best friend wants to watch me die! Do I even know you Peace? Gosh I never knew you.

Peace- Okay let’s say you don’t know me. But I know you Kate, and I know you to love life too much to fall over that bridge. You have been standing there for over an hour now saying you want to die and you haven’t yet! Let me tell you why you called me. You called me to stop you because you do not want to die. I even delayed coming and still met you alive. And now I’m here and you still there saying you want to die. And I tell you jump over the bridge and you are still annoyed with me for telling you to do what you want to do. God! Women! That’s why I don’t like female friends, they are so pathetic!

Kate- (walks over to meet Peace) Pour me a glass of wine and stop talking and let me do the talking.

Peace- Now this is my Kate! (pours her a glass)


Kate- (sips) you know it isn’t female friends that are pathetic. It’s I and Frank. We are a pathetic couple! Right from the day we met, it has been one drama after another. First I mistook his name and he believes I’m into his friend and not him. Secondly we went drinking to forget him and I met him again with his hopeless crazy friends who tried to ruin our relationship because they felt according to their own local mind, I didn’t love him. What even gave them the right to judge me like that?

Peace- Maybe its..

Kate- ( cuts in) I said don’t talk!

Peace- Sorry ma.

Kate- They say because I’m pretty I will have other guys. But that’s stupid talk! And you and Stella to weren’t making things easy for me also. Well at last we over came all that and we got engaged. Now thirdly, I doubted my engagement because of the rush, it took a whole lot out of me to hold on to that ring. Things started going on fine till Frank met mum and there was this tribal thing, ’’ Frank is yoruba and you are igbo’’ then suddenly there came the accident that ruined it all. At first, you this same Peace made me believe Frank was cheating on me!

Peace- Okay that wasn’t....

Kate- Shutup! I’m talking. I went to Frank’s place and said things i didn’t mean and now it’s the end. Me crying in your arms with a bottle of wine. Gosh! We are really a pathetic couple.

Peace- I think you missed the suicide part.

Kate- Well you can relate that.

Peace- But were you really going to commit suicide?

Kate- Me ke! When I never finish collect the 12,000 wey Ruth owe me.

Peace- Hahahahahahah mad girl!

Kate- Take me home Peace and let me cry it out. And please when I say I want to kill myself next time just act as if you believe I would, even though you know I won’t.

Peace- Okay Kate please don’t die!! I will die if you die. (fakes tears)

Kate- No stop! Stop! Just do the same thing you did tonight, crying makes you look to ugly.

© 2021 Jade George Anibor

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