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Country Comes to Buckhorn: The Conclusion of the Stage Play

Gerry Glenn Jones is a writer of fiction and nonfiction, as well as scripts for theatre and film. This is a factual account.

Animal Pyramid

Animal Pyramid

Act 2 - Scene 9: The Party

("Going Down to Mississippi" is being played by the band at the dance - People still arriving)

Grandpa Haycock:

Patsy, it looks like we gonna have a good turnout.

Grandma Haycock:

Yeah, it does, John. Have you seen Bobbi Jo or Vern?

Grandpa Haycock:

No, but they'll be here soon.

Grandma Haycock:

I saw Lester and Lula Belle come in.

Grandpa Haycock:

Me too, and I noticed ole Lester was walkin funny...I guess his rump is hurtin where he got shot by that bear.

(Earl Watson walks up)

Earl Watson:

Hey Grandma, how's about a little ole whirl on the dance floor?

Grandma Haycock:

Now, Earl, you know I don't dance with nobody but grandpa, but thanks anyway.

Grandpa Haycock:

(As Earl walks off)

That ole boy's higher'n a pine tree...he's been samplin his shine again...you better stay away from the punch bowl, Patsy.

Grandma Haycock:

I plan ta stay away from it, but have ya seen how many times the sheriff has returned to it?

Grandpa Haycock:

Yeah, and Deputy Jenkins has had as much as the sheriff...they are both doin some awful grinnin.

(Vern and Bobbi Jo walk in, and everyone stares at Bobbi Jo, and whispers how pretty she is)

(Ely Stone and Billy Ray Mathis enter and Ely is carrying a small box)

Ely Stone:

(sees Bobbi Jo)

Will you look at that...it don't even look like Bobbi Jo.

Billy Ray Mathis:

I don't believe it...I'm gonna dance with her.

Ely Stone:

What about our little attention-getter here in this box?

Billy Ray Mathis:

Aw, ya can just set them cherry bombs down anywhere...we'll get ta them after I danced with Bobbi Jo.

Ely Stone:

Where?

Billy Ray Mathis:

Just put 'em in the back room.

Dancing

Dancing

Act 2 - Scene 10: Arnold Shows Up at the Party

(Band plays Tennessee Waltz)

(Billy Ray Mathis: tells Bobbi Jo)

Billy Ray Mathis:

Come on...me and you gonna dance!

Bobbi Jo:

I ain't gonna dance with you until you learn how to say, "would you like to have this dance? You need to get some manners.

Billy Ray Mathis:

Oh, forget it...I don't want to dance with no upity girl noways.

( Deputy Jenkins walks over to Sheriff Potts)

Deputy Jim Jenkins:

Ya know sheriff, I'm feelin a little light-headed.

Sheriff Leroy Potts:

Yeah, I ken tell there's somethin wrong with ya alright, cause I can see two of ya.

Deputy Jim Jenkins:

I think some more punch will help me.

Sheriff Leroy Potts:

Bring me some too, and then we'll dance.

Arnold

Arnold

Act 2 - Scene 11: The Big Bang

(Deputy Jenkins stumbles to the punch bowl, and has trouble pouring his punch, as he sways from side to side)

Billy Ray Mathis:

(Says to Ely)

Come on...we gonna set off them cherry bombs.

(They both go into the backroom)

Lester Funderburk:

(Tells Lula Belle)

Lula Belle, I'm a needin to get some water so I can take some pain pills...I'll be back dreckly.

(Lester goes into the kitchen and begins to fill a glass with water, but he looks out the window and sees Arnold out there stumbling around with the shotgun in one paw and Earls moonshine jug in the other. He runs to get the sheriff)

Lester Funderburk:

Sheriff, quick...come look outside. They's a drunk bear out there with a shotgun! He's the same one that shot me!

Sheriff Leroy Potts:

(Grins a drunken grin)

Don't be alarmed there Lester, I saw a polka-dotted elephant in here a little while ago, and we ain't afraid...see how calm my deputy is.

(He points to his deputy who has passed out on the floor)

If he ain't excited...there's nothin to worry about.

Lester Funderburk:

No, sheriff...really there's a bear outside!

Sheriff Leroy Potts:

I see what yore trying ta do Lester, ya want to send me out on a wild goose...heh...heh...wild bear chase, so's ya can get all the punch. Well, sir, it ain't gonna work. Go find Lula Belle and dance with her.

Lester Funderburk:

(Remembering he has not seen Lula Belle since he went into the kitchen, he goes over to Grandpa and grandma Haycock)

Lester Funderburk:

John...Patsy, have yall seen Lula Belle?

Grandma Haycock:

Lula Belle said she was goin ta the outhouse.

(They look at the door, just as Lula Belle screams)

Lula Belle:

"BEAR"

(Simultaneously, there is an explosion in the backroom and the lights go out. There's a lot of shuffling and women screaming)

(When the lights come back on, Ely and Billy Ray are standing, facing the others. Their faces are black from the explosion. Earl is slowly sneaking out the door with his jug, while the sheriff and his deputy lay passed out on the floor with their around Arnold the bear, who is passed out between them)

(The bear raises up and says)

Arnold:

That's all she wrote! (passes out again).


THE END

Drunk Arnold

Drunk Arnold

© 2019 Gerry Glenn Jones

Comments

Gerry Glenn Jones (author) from Somerville, Tennessee on September 22, 2019:

Thank you; I hope to get it on stage before long.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on September 22, 2019:

You have added all the details that would make this a fun play to watch.