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Country Comes to Buckhorn: Act 2 - Scene 3: Arnold The Bear

Gerry Glenn Jones is a writer of fiction and nonfiction, as well as scripts for theatre and film. This is a factual account.

Animal Pyramid

Animal Pyramid

Recap of Country Comes to Buckhorn: Act 2 - Scene 1: Sheriff Potts Has a Plan

If you read the above-listed act and scenes 1 and 2, you learned about grandpa and the watermelon patch. Also, the groundwork was laid for deputy Jenkins excursion into terror, and Lester Funderburk's loss of his shotgun to Arnold, the bear., so get your popcorn, relax, and enjoy this installment.

Earl Watson's outhouse

Earl Watson's outhouse

Act 2 - Scene 3: Deputy Jenkins and Arnold the bear

(Music - "Tear my little stillhouse down:)

(Deputy Jenkins is back at Earl Watson's place - He is in the woods and it's dark - He talks out loud to himself)

Deputy Jenkins:

I don't like this a bit; it shore is dark out here. I don't know how the sheriff expects me to find any booby traps in the dark.

(Rustling in the bushes)

Deputy Jenkins:

That you...Earl?

(More rustling)

Deputy Jenkins:

If that's you Earl; ya better not scare me...ya know I'm a crack shot. Now...come on Earl, say somethin...this ain't funny!

(The deputy has his gun out, but his hand is shaking so much, he can hardly hold it)

Deputy Jenkins:

Earl, now come on; ya don't want to be a fooling with the law. Me and you...we get along okay, don't we? I'm only out here cause the sheriff made me come. I ain't really looking for no still!

(More rustling in front of him, and the deputy starts backing up, but trips over a log, which causes him to accidentally fire a shot. This sets everything in motion. Arnold, the bear, is terrified by the shot and lets out a "bear scream," and begins running through the woods in panic mode, towards Lester Funderburk's house. The deputy begins his tactical retreat (runs in sheer panic) but falls in a deep hole; one of Earl Watson's booby traps.

Deputy Jenkins

Deputy Jenkins

Act 2 - Scene 4: Arnold Meets Lula Belle Funderburk

Deputy Jim Jenkins:

Somebody, help me!

(Lula Belle Funderburk is in the outhouse, located close by, and hears the gunshot and the screams. She opens the door to see what's going on and sees Arnold running straight towards her. She immediately screams and slams the door shut, which adds to Arnold's panic, and he turns and runs back toward Earl Watson's place and the booby trap, which the deputy is in. As fate would have it, he falls into the pit with the deputy. The deputy screams, and so does Arnold. At this point, the deputy finds out he can climb the vertical wall of the booby trap with ease, and continues his tactical retreat; although, his speed has increased dramatically.)

Lula Belle Funderburk:

Help me, Lester, there's a bear out here!

(Lester is awakened by all the commotion, and hears Lula Belle's scream for help)

Lester Funderburk:

What in blue blazes is a goin on out there? Where are you, Lula Belle?

Lula Belle Funderburk:

I'm in the outhouse, Lester...they's a dangerous and ferocious bear out here, and he's done gone and seen me in all my glory. Ya got ta get him to purtect my vertue!

Lester Funderburk:

Which way did he go...I got my shotgun, and I'll track him down.

Lula Belle Funderburk:

I don't know...but I think he's a headin towards Earl's place.

Lester Funderburk:

You stay put, I'll see if I kin find him, and send him to bear heaven.

Lester Funderburk:

Okay, but hurry!

(Lester walks cautiously through the dark woods, but doesn't see Earl's booby trap, and falls into it with Arnold. He drops his shotgun, and Arnold retrieves it. A shot rings out and Lester comes out of the pit with the seat of his pants smoking)

(As Lester runs through the woods, he maniacally screams)

Lester Funderburk:

Bear done shot me, bear done shot me, bear done...!")

(Arnold limbs to the top of the hole and looks around cautiously before he exits. He carries Lester' shotgun on his paws)

Arnold the bear without his shotgun

Arnold the bear without his shotgun

Conclusion of Act 2 - Scene 4

Join us next time when we venture into Act 2 - Scene 5, in which Lester makes a complaint on Arnold for stealing his shotgun and shooting him with it.

© 2019 Gerry Glenn Jones