Country Comes to Buckhorn: Act 1 - Scene 8

Updated on September 17, 2019
Gerry Glenn Jones profile image

Gerry Glenn Jones is a writer of fiction and nonfiction, as well as scripts for theatre and film. This is a factual account.

Animal Pyramid
Animal Pyramid | Source

Act 1 - Scene 8: The Haycock Place

(Early morning at the Haycock Place)

Grandpa is in rocker, drinking coffee, and grandma comes out with coffee. She sits in her rocker.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

Did you hear all that ruckus last night over tords Earl's Place.

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

Yeah, I did -sounded like a young war goin on over there, with all the yelling and screaming and snorting goin on.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

What do you reckon happened, anyway?

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

I'm not sure, but it could be that Earl's wife done caught him skinny dipping with Wilma agin.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

Why do you reckon that John.

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

Well, I did hear what sounded like a high female voice yell, BARE, and I just figured Wilma caught Earl a swimming with his bottom bare again.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

I'm sorta surprised we didn't hear no shooting. She done told him before, that if she caught him agin, she usgittin her gun.

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

I don't know, but I do know the law had to be a called out there, and it musta been real important: I heard Sheriff Potts a running his sireen.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

You know this country living ain't as quite as it used tobe. Years ago, bout the biggest thing we had to cause a ruckus at night was a wandering ole bear.

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

Yeah...yeah, times has a changed. By the way, did youhear what them skunk boys' pa's did to them.

GRANDMA PATSY HAYCOCK:

I heered that got a good lashing for what they done over here....I sorta felt sorry for em.

Good ole boys
Good ole boys | Source

Act 1 - Scene 8: Continued

Grandpa Haycock:

I didn't feel sorry for them boys, cause for several days I smelled so bad, the mule would wouldn't let me catcher her, so the garden didn't get plowed.

Grandma Haycock:

That was alright, John, I didn't much feel like plowing no how.

Grandpa Haycock:

I know, Patsy, but it was jest the principal of the whole thang.

Grandma Haycock:

Them boys wudn't trying to skunk us anyways, John' you know they was trying to get even with Vern over sompin he done to them. Boys will be boys.

Grandpa Haycock:

I guess yore right, but I jest don't like them bad kinda pranks.

Grandma Haycock:

I know you don't, John; ha-ha, I don't reckon you had anything to do with that watermelon raid that went on a couple of years ago.

(Vern walks out onto the porch)

Grandpa Haycock:

Now, Patsy, ya need to hush; you'll give this boy som bad ideas.

Vern:

What happened grandma?

Watermelon
Watermelon | Source

Act 1 - Scene 9: Watermelon Patch Raid

Grandma Haycock:

Well, it went something like this. Yore grandpa, John was a sittin out here on the porch about the time the sun was going down, and them ole Watkins boys come up. They wus jest a grining, and I knew something was up. Them boys told grandpa that they had a jug of Earl's shine with em. Well, grandpa took him several good snorts of that shine...

Vern:

Naw, he didn't, he..he. (Laughing)

Grandma Haycock:

Yeah, I'm afraid he did, and in jest a little while, he was feelin bout ten foot tall and bulletproof. Then them boys asked him if he was up to a little watermelon raid over to Elmer Green's patch. That shine had really kicked in now and he told the boys to lead the way.

Vern:

Grandpa did that!

Grandpa Haycock:

(red-faced) Now hush, Patsy, I don't really recollect that or what happened.

Grandma Haycock:

Yeah, but I do. The three of em went staggerin off into the night together, headed through the woods to Elmer's watermelon patch. Well, them Watkins boys had something else in mind, and they got grandpa lost, and brung him back to his own watermelon patch, which he didn't recognize. They each picked out a watermelon apiece and started to leave, yore grandpa was so tore up he told them ole boys to wait. He said he was tired of Elmer braggin about the size of his melons each year and was gonna learn him something, so he started stompin the watermelons, and the Watkins boys helped him until they had smashed all the melons. I heered them but didn't go out.

Next mornin when John went out, he yelled, "come here Patsy; whilst we was tearing up Elmer's watermelon patch, some fool tore mine up." I didn't tell yore grandpa for a long time that he was the fool that tore it up.

Grandpa Haycock:

Well, everybody makes mistakes sometimes (grinned a little)

(Vern and grandma laughed so hard, they cried)


Watermelons
Watermelons | Source

Introduction of What's Next on "Country Comes to Buckhorn"

Join us soon for Act 1 - Scene 10, as well as additional acts and scenes in the madcap adventures of the people who live in and around Buckhorn, Mississippi, a fictitious town in the fictitious county of Pontowok.

Questions & Answers

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      • Pamela99 profile image

        Pamela Oglesby 

        6 months ago from Sunny Florida

        This play is enjoyable to read. You have done a good job with the speech, and the way the characters connect.

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