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Country Comes to Buckhorn: Act 1 - Scene 4

Gerry Glenn Jones is a writer of fiction and nonfiction, as well as scripts for theatre and film. This is a factual account.

Introducing "Country Come to Buckhorn: Act 1 - Scene 4

This is the second part of a two-act stage play, written by this author. If you would like to read the first part, click on https://hubpages.com/entertainment/Country-Comes-to-Buckhorn

Crazy farm animals

Crazy farm animals

Act 1 - Scene 4 - Enter Sheriff Potts, Earl Watson, and Deputy Jenkins

(Sitting in the sheriff's office, Sheriff Leroy Potts is talking to Earl Watson, whom he suspects of having a moonshine still)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

(Seated at his desk)

Now Earl, I done told you time after time, I don't care bout yore still, but I'm gettin pressure from them revenuers. They care bout yore still. They want me ta put you in the calaboose.

EARL WATSON:

Sheriff, I don't know what makes ya think I got a still...I'm a law abidin man--I don't hardly even take a shot of liquor for a cold.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Earl, don't ya be lying to me--ya smell like ya fell in a vat of yore own shine now.

EARL WATSON:

Well, like I told ya...I don't hardly take a snort for a cold, but I didn't say I never did. Ya know I got a purty bad cold right now (cough--cough).

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Yeah, I hear ya, but you need to remember, I was born at night...but it wadn't last night. I ain't a complete idiot.

EARL WATSON:

Now, sheriff...you can ask anybody, I ain't never called you a complete idiot.. I don't think so anyways. I respect you sometimes.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

(Getting perturbed_

What did you just say?

EARL WATSON:

I wus jest a saying..uh..I..uh.

(Deputy Jim Jenkins opens the door and sticks his head in)

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

Sheriff...there's some kinda ruckus goin on up by Grandpa Haycock's Place. Widow Burns called in and said she saw Ely Stone and Billy Ray Mathis coming running by her place, She said Grandpa Haycock and Lester Funderburk were right behind them on a tractor, and Lester was shootin a shotgun over the boy's heads.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Well, ya better git on up there and check it out, and take ole Earl, here, with ya, and make shore he gets home..he's had a snort or two.

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

Okay Sheriff, Come on Earl, let's go.

Sheriff Potts and Deputy Jenkins

Sheriff Potts and Deputy Jenkins

Act 1 - Scene 5 - Introducing Lula Belle Funderburk

(Grandpa and Lester have left the tractor after arriving at Lester's house, and are met by Lula Belle)

LULA BELLE FUNDERBURK:

There ya are, you ole coot. I was wunderin where ya done snuck off to.

LESTER FUNDERBURK:

I was jest up at grandpa's and grandma's, helping them with a little skunk problem they had. We done had an awful time!

Lester approaches Lula Belle.

LULA BELLE FUNDERBURK:

Woo--we...Lands sakes.....ya stink worsen a polecat in a perfume factory...don't you come any nearer to me!

LESTER FUNDERBURK:

But Lula, darling...it'll take a whole lotta washin and a bunch a days to get this here stink off me. You can't expect me ta stay in the barn that long?

LULA BELLE FUNDERBURK:

You're absolutely right...I forgot bout havin our ole milk cow, Betsy out there. You can take yourself to the lean-to behind the woodshed. You can stay purty dry there if it rains.

LESTER FUNDERBURK:

Oh, Lula Belle!

LULA BELLE FUNDERBURK:

Now, you go on and get yourself outta here to Grandpa, and you tell grandma I said hello.

GRANDPA JOHN HAYCOCK:

Okay Lula. See ya later Lester...we shore did have some fun until we lost them ole skunk boys, didn't we?

(Lester nods and waves his arms as he sullenly heads toward the lean-to)

Lula Belle Funderburk

Lula Belle Funderburk

Act 1 - Scene 6 - Introducing the Bear

(Sheriff Potts and Deputy Jenkins are sneaking around Earl's property trying to catch him at his still - it's night)

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

You don't think Earl's gonna be dumb enough to be working out here with this full moon, do you?

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Why do you think they call it "moon shinning," you idiot?

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

I guess yore right.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Shore I'm right; that's why I'm the sheriff and yore the deputy.

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

I always thought you got elected Sheriff over me, cause you got more kin in the county than I do.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

That ain't exactly right...I just got more kin that can read and write and can mark my name on a voting ballot.

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

I know yore right about that cause most of my kin thanks that ya spell Jim Jenkins ( Leroy Potts), but now a couple of em did tell me that's how you told 'em to spell my name when they went to vote.

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Shhhh!

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

What is it?

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Be quiet...I heard something in the woods.

DEPUTY JIM JENKINS:

It's probably ole Earl. We gonna catch him red-handed hee... hee!

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Will, you shut up, and follow me!

(Sheriff Potts works his way through the woods with his deputy close behind. Sheriff Potts soon finds himself staring face to face with a large brown bear, who is not amused)

(Everything freezes for a moment, and Sheriff Potts turns and runs over Deputy Jenkins, who faints)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

It's a bear...run for yore life!

(As the sheriff runs off and leaves his deputy on the ground to fend for himself, the bear stops and starts examining the deputy, who has fainted. He rolls the deputy around on the ground several times. The deputy comes to, sees the bear, and faints again. After a while, the bear becomes bored and decides to see where Sheriff Potts has gone. The bear finds the patrol car first and gets into the passenger side before Potts can find the car. Backing into the driver's seat, the sheriff feels the presence of the bear, and thinks it's Deputy Jenkins -He is still watching the woods for the bear)

Brown bear

Brown bear

Scene 7 - The Bear and the Patrol Car

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

That was a close one. I thought he had you.

BEAR:

(Grunts)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Well, you don't have to be so upset. I only ran away and left you because I was trying to draw the bear off.

BEAR:

(Grunts again)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Well...I started to use some karate on that ole bear, but I don't reckon that would be too humane, considerin my fightin ability.

BEAR:

(Grunts)

(Bear hits Sheriff Potts on the shoulder with his paw)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

Hey...there's no need for you to be acting this way...I sacrificed myself for you!

BEAR:

(Grunts again)

SHERIFF LEROY POTTS:

That's it--you --you ---ungrateful

(He turns and sees the bear)

---Ba, Ba, BEAR --

BEAR:

(Growls)

(The sheriff opens the door and flees)

(Bear turns on siren)

(Music Begins -Dog house Blues)

(Everyone exits stage)

Sheriff's badge

Sheriff's badge

Conclusion of "Country Comes to Buckhorn," Act 2 - Scene 7

This concludes "Country Comes to Buckhorn," Act 2 - Scene 7. Join us next time for Act 1 - Scenes 8-9, as we follow the antics of the country folks of Buckhorn.

© 2019 Gerry Glenn Jones