Another Quarter-Life Crisis Story

Dreaming has always been one of my strongest suit, despite knowing that it will take an extensive amount of time and effort before achieving it. Back when I was in high school, I was sure that I'll pursue a career that involves writing or any job regarding media and communication. But due to personal circumstances, self-doubt and overthinking the future, I ended up applying for a Civil Engineering degree. A complete 180-degree turn away from what I originally dreamed of becoming.

When it comes to mathematics, I can say that my skills are only average. I even hated Algebra! The main foundation of your engineering journey, they say. But when Calculus happened, I discovered that I am more capable of solving complicated problems. I learned to love math despite how many headaches it gave me because I looked forward to becoming called an Engineer.

As years go by, I started looking at my degree as nothing more than a necessity if I wanted to earn a decent living. It was exhausting and disappointing. I started losing myself, spiraling down the rabbit hole that is depression. I struggled mentally and emotionally, and that's when my grades came tumbling down. I remembered the time when I told myself that if they can do it, I can too.

It was a constant battle between practicality and passion, but I still persevered.

In order to combat depression, I decided to go back to my roots. So I applied for our university's media organization as a writer. I was accepted and two years later, I became an Assistant Editor.

I treated writing articles and covering events as an escape. Away from the stressful environment of engineering. Personally, I became even more motivated to study after joining an organization that caters to my actual interests. I learned how to work with various kinds of people and developed my self-confidence. Because multi-tasking is my weakness, I learned how to function quickly yet efficiently.

I can say, with conviction, that you don't have to throw away your passion just because you're pursuing a profession that is completely different from it. Constantly learning is necessary for every individual. Being stuck with old norms and being scared to go out of your comfort zone will never help you develop.

You don't have to be confined in one box if you're capable of venturing beyond it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to try new things, after all, experience is the best teacher.

Now that I am entering a new chapter in my life, I kept on asking "What am I going to do now?" Challenges are inevitable, so when I failed to pass my licensure exam, I kept assuring myself that there must be a reason why just like it always has been.

In the Philippines, a license can be acquired even without experience, unlike other nations. Because the exam is highly base on theoretical aspects, that's why it's advisable that after graduating, students have to recall their whole year in university in order to pass the board exams. It is also one of the main requirements if you want to work in certain industries. Meaning, if you don't have a license, there's little to no chance of being accepted.

As for me, staying in one place has never been ideal. I wanted to be able to work with other cultures in a completely unfamiliar place where I can learn about their language and ways. It motivates me more if there is always something new to discover.

So when I researched about getting an international license—because our local license isn't credited in other countries— I discovered that you have to acquire years of experience first before having the eligibility to apply for one.

Our future is already laid in front of us and all we have to do is choose which path to take in order to get there. Writing this helps me ground my thoughts. I hope that I can go back here one day and say, "Despite all the hardships I encountered, I can finally say I made it."

© 2020 Mich Camcam