Do you consider women equal to men? Do you as a woman consider yourself equal to men or are you influenced by old fashioned limitations?
It’s quite against my principle to talk badly about employers as I think this is first of all, a waste of my time (if it doesn’t fit me, I’m welcome to find a new job) and second one doesn’t spit in his or her food. In this case however, I am no longer working for the specific company and second, I will refrain from mentioning the company’s name, to prevent any harm. As a (working) woman and single widowed mom, it’s probably quite clear to you, I have had my share in life and if before the death of my late husband I wasn’t independent, I sure became so after his passing. And I admit, highly likely there were some matters that I gladly would’ve left in his hands, but even when he was still alive, my skills to get things done, move matters forward and handle approximately 100 things at a time, were far better than his or at least at a similar level.
He, as a modern open-minded man and partner, was perfectly fine with that, even encouraging it as he was flying abroad quite a lot and not in need of some desperate non-independent partner who couldn’t handle matters while he wasn’t around.
So when I applied for the job of Social Media Manager at a company selling an anti-menstruation-pain device (does that sound like a device a man can use?) I quite understood the underlying thought of the CEO in choosing a woman. As he stated, “A woman will understand the questions and doubts women have before purchasing this device.”; yes, men indeed do not have a womb and no men cannot know what it is like when your hormones are sky-high or when you’re in such pain, you’d prefer to stay home and hide from the outside world. So here I actually agreed.
Now let’s say this company was and is run by a very successful, well-organized CEO. And let’s say this company did not experience constant production trouble (the warehouse was and is run by a man), and let’s say there weren’t numerous complaints concerning the product (developed by a man), and let’s say refunds were done in time instead of being postponed by the male manager handling this. And for the sake of being utterly positive, let’s say no huge amounts were not wasted on non-profitable Facebook ads lacking proper ROI (published and managed by, yes, feel free to guess: a man). Let’s say the anti-menstruation device was always sold and shipped accordingly, arriving on time and we have a well-oiled profitable company run and owned by a man. Even then the below showing statement is totally out of place and source of great agitation from yes, ME as a woman:
“There’s nothing that can be done about it; women lack negotiation and leadership skills, men are simply better at it as they are tougher!”
In a split second I felt the blood going to my face as it turned red out of anger. Especially being the only woman in the company, and as it was said by the CEO, it wasn’t a very pleasant position to be in. All the wires in my female brain are doing overtime feeling frustrated about this ignorant and offensive remark. But as my late husband used to say, “Ignorance and stupidity in the same package, how convenient!” – I decided to be above things and before responding and getting into an actual overheated discussion with him, I simply that not answering is answering as well and far stronger that blurring out idiotic remarks. It simply struck me - This same CEO, younger than myself, may have left the village up North he came from, but the village sure hasn’t left him. A nasty expression, but still fits certain people, even in 2018.
If he was a professional, smart CEO, he would’ve have never made this remark in a room full of men and only one female colleague.
If he would’ve have been smart and understood his female market to which he wants to promote his anti-menstruation-pain device, he would not have hired a male Marketing freelancer, stating “Showing an oversized woman on Instagram, is not in place as fat women do not sell”.
If he would have been smart, he would have listened to the potential investors (a man AND a woman, how surprising) explaining the urgent changes he must make within the company to keep it from going bankrupt.
If he would have been smart, he would have done some self-reflection and understood that his middle-aged attitude could very well be the reason he does not find a partner (it’s 2018 and amazingly us females don’t need men anymore to provide in us financially or help us “negotiate” as we are perfectly capable of doing so ourselves!)
I have raised a son on my own as a single mother in a country I wasn’t even born in and of which I barely spoke the language after my late husband passed away. I have overcome financial difficulties on my own without any help (not from men nor from women). I have financed and build my own house (yes, I indeed had to negotiate the quote I received and yes, I managed the construction workers on site) and yes, I’m running my own business as a freelancer and doing and feeling great! So maybe, just maybe women are capable of handling all after all?
My son knows that women are equal to men and can do the same and even more. I can be a mother, I can finance, I can build, and I can love.
And the man I met after 11 years of single-hood knows his partner is an independent woman and shares this point of view. His daughters were and are being taught to always make sure they have full independence in life, financially and practically as to avoid them from getting into a relationship with an MCP as my former CEO clearly was.
Amatus (author) from Israel on September 19, 2018:
Dear Ken, I apologize for responding only now but currently that's the time I have to write and react (trusting this will be better soon, working on it). There are some points in your reality I perceive in the same way (mainly concerning the Islam related part) and some I don't. And if it wasn't for women joining the work--force during WW2, we would have all spoken German in Europe already a long time ago as there were no other people to produce the required weapons. Women have a lot to contribute and I for one would go completely crazy if I was forced to be only a mother and house-wife.
Ken on September 08, 2018:
The statement I made answers the questions you posed.
As for what I am afraid of, nothing, I'm not concerned about a thing, just pointing out the reality as I perceive it, and presenting the 'where it will likely lead' possibilities.
Amatus (author) from Israel on September 08, 2018:
Dear Ken, you state that men's positions and purpose in life are (have been) discarded or are being replaced - who decides what purpose a man has in life? Why can't a man spend more time with his children instead of this being the task of a woman? Who says every woman wants be at home with her kids all the time?
"Women don't need men to support them (and if they do the courts force men to) they can depend on the government to support them, or they can 'bring home the bacon' themselves." - There are many countries where there is NO financial support provided by the state thus causing them (if not financially independent) to be depending on family or friends! Isn't it great that any person (man or woman) has his or her independence? What are you so afraid of? A strong independent woman? This should be celebrated just as it should be celebrated when a man is successful!
In nature species survive when they adjust to the changing of circumstances in their habitat. The world is changing all the time and men in Western society should adjust to the fact that women are part of the work-force and do not wish to sit at home all the time being house-wifes.
Ken Burgess from Florida on August 27, 2018:
First, let me be clear that your accomplishments, ability to overcome, etc. are not what I am questioning.
Nor am I questioning that there aren't those (especially older generations) that see things with a sexist tint, just like there are those that see things with a racist tint.
But as far as America (and to my knowledge the EU) goes, we have come to the point (collectively) where we have gone past a balance to the laws, and social norms of the day.
Indeed, it is a liability to be a man in America today, the ease with which one can lose everything by being accused of rape, or lose more than half of everything in a divorce, or pay alimony for a child he may not have wanted (or that may not even be his) has become recognizably oppressive.
On top of that, almost all government programs be they HUD, SBA, College Grants, etc. have special focus and incentives for women that men are not privy to.
The push of Feminism we see today may be a result of this faux Liberal cultural Marxist social engineering that is prevalent in our 'higher education' and 'intellectual elite'. Or perhaps a side effect of our capitalistic materialistic hedonism, or both.
What I do know, is men's positions and purpose in life are (have been) discarded or are being replaced. Women don't need men to support them (and if they do the courts force men to) they can depend on the government to support them, or they can 'bring home the bacon' themselves.
Whether to you feel this is good, justified, or beneficial. The point I am making is that men in Western society no longer have a place or position of power, control or authority... and if they do, it can be stripped from them almost at any time, by any woman, unless they are incredibly wealthy or beyond reproach.
This will lead to the demise of Western civilization as we know and understand it. And this will lead to a 'barbarians at the gates' scenario where our society will give way to an 'invading force', right now that looks like it will be a form of Socialist/Marxist suppressive governmental control where the masses will suffer much as they did throughout the rise and fall of the Soviet Union... or Islam will become dominant, which we have already discussed.
What drove nations into WWI and WWII economic downturn and the majority of the male population without work, purpose or hope.
Right now we have a very healthy economy, and that has helped minimize what had been a growing number or disgruntled, purposeless men that were idle in our society... we can only hope the economy continues to thrive, because the seeds of discontent have been sewn in many different 'sects' of our society, but none is a bigger block then men who feel they have been discarded by their own culture/society.
Amatus (author) from Israel on August 27, 2018:
As I mentioned previously, thank you for sharing your opinion, appreciate it! Let me start with your question; do I consider women equal to men? Yes, I absolutely do! Because what we’re talking about here, is the assumption that women are less good at negotiating than men without any science backing this up.
Obviously, we are all individuals, obviously body-wise women are built differently from men, but not every man is good at negotiating as not every woman is good at fixing a car. No man can have a child, but nor can I have a child without the semen of a man. So, it’s a symbiosis where both need one another and can fulfill the role they’re good at. But choosing that role should be decided by the person her- or himself and not predetermined by old-fashioned role types.
How come women such as Denise Morrison (Campbell Soup Co.) became a CEO? Or Sheri McCoy is leading Avon? Meg Whitman, the CEO of Hewlett Packard – not exactly a company selling products one would expect a woman to be THAT much interested in.
You are giving a list of names of great inventors and stating that the male sex has invented far more. Let’s take in consideration that women up until the beginning of the 20th century weren’t enabled (as in allowed) to study at the university. And who decided to keep them away from that opportunity? Exactly: men!
But despite that, women DID manage to invent, and I am happy to share some examples with you:
Marie Curie – Theory of Radioactivity
Nancy Johnson – The Ice Cream Maker
Maria Telkes – The FIRST 100 percent solar powered house
Ann Tsukamoto – Stem cell isolation
Rosalind Franklin – DNA double helix
Maria Beasley – The life raft
Would you like me to continue the list?
And I do not think your words concerning Islam are inflammatory as indeed they are a sad and scary fact. Indeed, these Middle-Aged ideas are spreading the world at a pace which is way too fast and should be stopped as it creates a set-back in developing of both men and women. Your perspective of the world is not blunt in my opinion, but merely a sad observation of indeed a primitive group of fanatics being on the rise.
And if you are stating men have invented so much throughout the centuries, where are the inventions of the Arabic speaking countries on this list? And I share your fear of Europe falling into hands of Sharia law, as currently the so-called democracy and the intake of way too many culturally different people will undermine its current free set-up.
Each person needs to be able to be an individual and might be far more capable than the majority of all others. But as in nature, we also cannot do without one another. If we’re all in politics, who will pick up the garbage or perform surgery. But we should all be enabled to try to do what we’re best at and what we like. And if that means a man wants to be become a kindergarten teacher and woman wants to drive a truck, that’s perfectly okay! And if women need to negotiate contracts on any level, there’s absolutely no reason she should be wiped of the negotiation table by men, simply because she’s a woman and certain men think she’s less.
I for one will not be stopped by men stating, “You cannot do it as you are a woman”. On the contrary, it gives me even more of a drive to succeed.
Amatus (author) from Israel on August 23, 2018:
Dear RTalloni, as I have very little time, I just want to briefly say I fully agree with what you wrote and thank you for your comment!
And Dear Ken Burgess, I want to say thank you for your comment but also react to it when I have a bit more time as I feel I want to express my thoughts in a well-considered manner. Wishing you both a marvelous day :-)
Ken Burgess from Florida on August 21, 2018:
Do you consider women equal to men?
Nor are people equal.
No man can have a child.
Nikola Tesla, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Leonardo Da Vinci, Aristotle, Archimedes, Charles Babbage, Bill Gates... what sex throughout history has invented, engineered and built the civilization upon which we exist today?
Each person as an individual may be far more capable than the majority of all others. But when collectively as a sex a comparison is made, one sex is designed to do some things better than the other.
That's reality... and all the rewriting of history, social engineering, policing of opinions, isn't going to change that. Such efforts might be successful in the destruction (or deconstruction) of a society or civilization, but that just means that civilization will be replaced by another... not that such ideas and ideals will spread to dominate throughout the world.
Just look at what we see occurring today, the spread of Islam across what were the pillars of the Western World (UK, France, Germany) and what is Islam if not a Male dominated and orientated belief?
I'm sure many will see these words as highly inflammatory, but they are not meant to be, they are merely my blunt perspective on what I see transpiring in the world today... I don't take any position or stake any claim or concern on whether women come to dominate Western society in the near future, or Europe as it has always been known falls to Islam and Sharia Law... in either case, I will be gone from the world when either becomes reality.
RTalloni on August 20, 2018:
To answer your first two questions I have to ask, equal in what way? There are problems with broad questions as well as broad answers.
Many today seem to think that equal means the same. Obviously, men and women are no more the same than all men or all women are the same. Some women can do more physically than some men. Some men are better at relationships than some women. As they say, folks is folks where 'er we go!
However, it is understandable that you would find that CEO's comments intolerable. If we try to give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he is the kind of person who can write very clearly but cannot communicate well verbally. Often, when we write out what we want to say, then proofread it, we find that we are not really communicating the way we want to.
It is likely that if he listened to what he was saying he would actually be surprised at himself and he would hopefully learn to think more clearly before speaking. It seems you likely did the smartest thing by not responding. I find I have breakdowns in verbal and written communication when I do not step back and wait a bit to either consider my words or proofread well, especially if I am emotionally involved in what I want to communicate.