To All Moms

Updated on November 9, 2019
Hollie Yang profile image

A mother of two children, both under the age of two. Her second child was born at home due to a bad experience with her first birth.

For the Mothers that feel alone... Know that you're not alone

He may be crying only to feel my touch. To be held close. To feel warm and safe.

It can be so frustrating when there's so much to do and I have to sit and rock my child. Sometimes for hours.

I may get him back to sleep and lay him down, only to have to pick him right back up when he cries again. I may cry a little too.

And when I'm desperate for sleep and begging God to help me stay sane. Begging God to help this child sleep. At times I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.

I don't think God looks down and shakes his head in disappointment... I feel like He knows... He understands...

Because, I know I'm not the first woman to cry out in the night. To wonder if I'm going to make it. I've talked to other Moms who battle the same things.

Depression and Loss

Many battle depression. I know I did. I think it went even deeper than that for me. I know for a long time I just was not myself. You can call it whatever you like but I know I was going a little crazy. or maybe a lot.

I look back and see a pattern. I had a baby, 3 months later I was pregnant again. I had a miscarriage. Then 3 months later pregnant AGAIN. Wouldn't that make anyone go a little insane?

A miscarriage alone is a battle in itself. You don't know how to think, how to feel. You can't help but ask God, "Why?"

And those who think you should never ask God why must never have gone through any kind of loss. It's human nature to ask questions. To try to understand something that we probably never will.

During miscarriage you may blame yourself. You may even blame your husband. But sometimes things just happen. This reality doesn't make sense and does nothing to make you feel any better.

Loss is part of life and we all deal with it in different ways. But there is a peace in miscarriage too. Knowing that your baby is in the hands of God and won't have to battle sickness. He won't know what it's like to lose a loved one to death. He will know God and that's a million times better than what we have to offer here on Earth.

It doesn't make sense, but you don't have to understand. it's OK to ask, "why".

But for the children that I am blessed to know. The children God allowed me to raise, I forget all too quickly how delicate life is. I forget that this time with them while they are little is precious.


"No more booboo's that need kissing."

No one's got it "all together"

I remember back to the days of pregnancy, reading up on all of the articles of child raising.

How to get your infant to sleep through the night.
When to take your child to the doctor.
Should I vaccinate my child?
Should I stay home with my child?

I sigh.

Why is there so much controversy about raising kids? Why is everyone so judgy? And why is there so much pressure on Moms!?

Nothing could prepare anyone for this. There's no book, article or person that can give you enough advice to truly prepare you. Not mentally... Not emotionally...

Some things just have to be lived out. I understand this now. I painfully understand.

I can laugh at myself now though. Thinking I was so smart. Having it all together. Knowing what to do at every stage of their lives before they were even born.

I was so naive.

And now I know that every kid is so different. They all respond differently... There's not always one set way... There's many ways to raise a child...

Which is why it's so scary... You only get one chance... And I sure as heck don't want to mess it up.

With all the pressure, all the tears, the sleepless nights and the rude awakenings in the mornings... I know that one day I won't have that.

One day, there won't be a little hand reaching out for me. There won't be a cry in the night for me.

One day, I will find myself with no more children in my home. No more cuddles. No more, "Mama look"...

No more nap times that give me a chance to clean.

No more booboo's that need kissing.

No more pitter patter of little feet.

I won't be needed so much... I won't be hugged as much...

It will be just me and my husband and silence.

Those days will have some good times too but right now is our best times. I've heard too many old people say that I'm going to miss this.

I've worked in a nursing home and I've seen the women holding baby dolls... They miss these times that I'm in right now.

They miss being needed.

One day, I will miss this time. Despite all of my frustrations. I will miss this.

But, for real, the frustrations aren't as frustrating when I think about "One day".

Deep down, we all secretly want to be needed and we all want to be loved...

And that's what I've got right now.

So, when I hear him crying out for another bottle, to be held and rocked. Maybe I should think about "One Day" and know that it will come all too quickly...

Questions & Answers

    Comments

      0 of 8192 characters used
      Post Comment
      • Hollie Yang profile imageAUTHOR

        Hollie Yang 

        3 weeks ago from Arkansas

        AshlyChristen thank you! ♥

      • AshlyChristen profile image

        Ashly Christen 

        3 weeks ago from Illinois

        Keep up the good work momma you got this! You are so right! Cherish every little moment, every cry you can comfort, every booboo you can fix & patch up, every snuggle & kiss & even dealing with the little fits....cuz One Day will someday be all too soon.

      working

      This website uses cookies

      As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

      For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

      Show Details
      Necessary
      HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
      LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
      Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
      AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
      HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
      Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
      CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
      Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
      Features
      Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
      Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
      Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
      PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
      MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
      Marketing
      Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
      Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
      Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
      Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
      Statistics
      Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
      ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
      Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
      ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)