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Staying Hinged

She opts not to whine about anything, but still struggles to find a way out sometimes.

No place can guarantee a hospitable ambiance all the time. Because of this, every living thing has evolved to become adaptable to any type of environment, simply because it increases the chances of survival. In essence, we must find a way to always adjust; that is, if we choose not only to survive but to live.

An internal world of peace.

An internal world of peace.

It doesn’t matter if my ears bleed from my loud Yiruma’s greatest instrumental music in my phone. When you’re inside a 60 square meter building with people magnetically repulsive of one another, you must (not simply need), to find a way out or you’ll end up either of the two: a mentally drained and frustrated limp or a burning lump of coal. Not considering to be any of the two, I opt to calm myself with roaring hymns from a British-South Korean prodigy pianist instead of tolerating the thundering forces.

Apparently, I get worn out by loud noises. They say it’s something natural in introverts like me. Too much talking, high pitched voices, commotions, dog barks, banged doors, thundering laughter of school kids, frustrated cries of babies, loud TV volumes. But I can’t deny that I do shout myself. Especially when I discipline high school students in the laboratory. As I now realize what it feels, I decide that I will never shout again and will find another strategy to keep them calm yet active inside my prepared environment. But that aside, every blaring sound all unhinge a part of my sanity—the thing I need to keep most to stay functional.

I must remain sane and functional. Of course we all do. But for me, I finally realize that I need to be, not simply because I have to survive. Being one is not something I do for myself. I need to be sane and functional for the people I care about. As I come to realize my purpose in life, I learned that living is about caring, sharing and service. You may tell me, “how come you have only realized this now?” I myself am disappointed at myself. If I had known this when I was younger, then I could have made more productive and worthwhile things for others. My journey was not perfect and I made wrong choices too. But now that I know I must make up for all the shortcomings, I strive to address the needs of others by first taking care of myself. That includes a healthy diet, a balanced lifestyle of fun and work, maintenance of a growth mindset, a charged mental health and well fed dreams and goals.

So now I keep these earphones booming with the sweet stream of Yiruma’s piano ballads into my ears as I keep in mind the next week’s meals I shall cook for my mom, dad and siblings. I let the roars of the piano keys reach my auditory nerves as I picture myself as an entrepreneur even before I turn 26. I allow the thundering hymns drown my mind as I visualize scenes of a dream of my husband joyfully playing with our little boy at a sunken garden while I cradle our sweet little girl, enjoying the warm bed of grass and the cool breeze of the afternoon winds.

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.

— Wayne W. Dyer

© 2019 Jillian Talavera

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