Tim is a freelance writer, poet, artist and storyteller. He always tries to find and include lessons for everyone in his writing.
Today’s not so important topic is: how to communicate with people. Everybody loves to talk but not everyone get how to‘s of doing all the talking. Don’t get me wrong I think communication for the most part is not a bad thing.
Let’s face it we all have to communicate. We all need to order at a fast food restaurant or cuss at the driver who cuts us off or complain about what we don’t like about work but when communication gets abused trouble follows.
Here are the different forms of communication and some ways what We say gets miscommunicated.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
— Yogi Berra
The average talker, wishing to converse with another, tries to converse via the usual route, they talk the other person listens. The problem is that normal conversation, performed without the strictest of rules, can be one of the most unbearable things ever.
Personal communication is one used in a casual conversation between two people, i.e you and someone else. Personal communication needs strict rules in order to go well. One of the chief ones is "think before you speak." Too many times people do it in reverse and speak without thinking. This will only get you in a lot of trouble.
How many times have you said the first thing which comes to your mind only to discover your mouth has gotten you in trouble again. Here are three personal communication breakdowns that have caused a lot of grief over the years.
- You see a woman with a slight belly. The first words words out of your mouth are, “When are you due?” Oops not even pregnant.
- You’re asked by a friend or person who asks you how they look? Your answer, “You really want me to tell you?” Should have answered, just fine.
- When asked by someone, ”Why old do I look?” You proceed with a communication breakdown of over estimating a persons age. This one is worse when a woman is involved.
Now you understand why it is so important to temper your words when indulging in personal communication. Hey you can always do what I do. Shake you head mumble the word,"yeah." This gives you time to think of what you should really be saying.
Relationship communication is a must if you want to maintain a healthy relationship. The problems in personal communication usually arise on the mans side when misinterpret what they hear.
Men must realize that men and women hear things differently. Women hear every word while men usually hear...well maybe one in 10 words. This is obvious when a man ask his significant other a question and they reply, "I told you that 10 minutes ago.
Other times men use to many words in order to get their point across. My mom use to tell me I had, "Diarrhea mouth," meaning I talked to fast and too much when I was nervous.
For instance when a man wants to end a relationship with a significant other because they're nervous, they will go through the half hour speech of why the person is so great but not great enough for you, This is when you need to just cut to the chase and say “It’s not working. I’m leaving …see yeah”.
A woman on the other hand doesn't usually make a dance out of her words. She'll usually just call it like she sees it. If she is breaking up with a guy she'll just break up and move on.
Anyway see how much time the woman saved. Let’s face it when you begin your speech, the person already knows what you’re about to do before it happens. I know this sounds cruel but in the end it’s the best way to do. I.e. don’t even think about using a text message to breakup with someone.
Relationship communication needs to have strict rules in order to succeed. The chief one being, "you have two ears and one mouth" so learn to listen more and talk less.
Let’s move onto politicians. Stop groaning, I don’t like to talk about politics either but let’s face it politicians are one of the worst offenders at over wordage. Politicians like to hear themselves talk so they will use a 1000 words to confuse you into believing their not going to be the one to raise taxes but they will still make your life better.
The chief rule for politicians should be, "keep it short and simple."
If they’d only tell us that they aren’t going to do anything at all for us instead of telling us next to nothing using thousands of words we’d be happy and could really vote for the right candidate. Oh by the way if a politician spends too many words bashing the opposition then you can bet they really don’t have anything to say.
The final and most used form of communication today is written communication. Today's written communication consists of:
There are more but thees are the main ones. The main rule of thumb in written communication is check to see what auto-correct has filled in for the words it doesn't understand before you hit send. I've been on the sending and receiving end of some wild miscommunications due to auto-correct.
Examples of miss sent text and emails:
- "Pipe burst in basement" auto corrected to, "Pipe bomb in basement." Big difference there.
- "It's Friday I'm getting Pringles tonight," auto corrected to, "It’s Friday. I’m getting pregnant tonight!" Wouldn't want to be on the other end of that one.
These are only two of the many that are out there. If you have time and want some laughs just Google and you will find hundreds. Almost forgot something else. Please spellcheck before you hit send. There are a lot of misspelled words out there.
One Final Thought
Now I have a theory that all the carbon dioxide we exhale when we over converse is a major contributor to global warming so it is of vital importance to find ways to keep our conversation to a minimum.
© 2020 Timothy Whitt
Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on May 05, 2020:
I feel bad for my younger wife,. She often blurts out something. That is OK. But then instead of thinking about what she said she immediately defends it. Not conducive to intelligent decisions. I am glad that by sixty I was over that.