Karla Taylor has written for HubPages since 2019 and has been studying mindset and paradigms for many years.
Why do we compare ourselves to others?
As humans, it's natural to compare ourselves to other people so that we can evaluate ourselves. It is not natural, however, to question your own self worth based on your perception of other people.
The only person you can truly compare yourself to is you.
You've been conditioned
You learned how to compare yourself to others by society. The thoughts create negative feeling. Negative feeling promotes negative actions. Negative actions like repeating that process every time you go on Social Media. Can you imagine? I'm sure you can.
I remember being a young age and reading my mum's magazines. I did this often and there was usually a feature called "hot or not" in which celebrities would be compared directly to other celebrities who were wearing the same or a very similar outfit.
Fast forward 18 years and anyone who creates such content now would be considered a troll and rightly so.
Once You've Learned How to Put Yourself in a Good Vibration, You Wouldn't Do That to Yourself
Since we've banished such things from our tolerance, we've become kinder and stronger as a community of human beings but there was a lasting impact which reacts badly with the wonder of social media.
We love it. We LOVE social media but it's a constant stream of views into other peoples lives. We know that people plan their posts, we know that people use filters but we also know that those filters are available to everybody and so that knowledge isn't always enough to cut the comparisons out.
Feeling more confident in yourself helps, it really does. So does having breaks from social media and so does being really busy.
I personally struggled with it in 2015/2016 but I can't remember the last time I compared myself to another person since then because I've been so busy and consumed with life, writing and personal development.
Plus, once you've learned how to put yourself in a good vibration, you wouldn't do that to yourself.
I Struggled With This As A New Mum
After I had my first baby, my self-esteem was on the floor. I struggled with post-natal depression and although I started to get better, I was still unable to shake the habit of comparing myself to other people.
I compared myself to ridiculous standards and I was so miserable. I was allowing myself to feel certain ways about my physical appearance based on my perception of other people and even worse, I was operating on an idea that my physical appearance was a direct reflection of my worth.
The Only Person You Can Truly Compare Yourself To Is You
Competition is one thing... if you're in a competition but then to go on and compare yourself to your opponent is another. You can be better than you, you can be better than you were yesterday but you can't be better at being someone else than they are and they can't be better at being you than you are.
Embrace Who You Are Because Nobody Can Do It Better Than You
Social comparison is natural but those awful feelings that come with comparing your life to others lives as shown on social media aren't.
They come from a paradigm. The behaviour behind comparing yourself to other people in a negative way is learned. Many people, from day one, had influences around them unknowingly feeding their subconscious minds with these behaviours and attitudes whether it be from magazines, television, their family, friends and teachers.
We were taught competition because we needed to be taught competition but it's as though it's been misused or overused. Competition was never an issue for me but comparing myself was and I think it's safe to say that there is a link between the two.
Maybe if I hadn't grown up reading "hot or not" features, maybe if the female influences in my life had a bit more self-confidence then I wouldn't know about this subject. Maybe if we all develop a genuine sense of self-worth and stop comparing ourselves to other people then the next generation won't grow up confused like we did.
Rather than being in competition with everyone, rather than wishing you were somebody else - embrace who you are because nobody can do it better than you. Help other people and you'll find that you're helping yourself. There is enough success, love and light to go around. Abundance is infinite.
The only person you should compete with is you.
© 2019 Karla Taylor