I Can Feel Your Heartbeat

Updated on March 22, 2020
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Educator, Pop Culture junkie, Orange Chicken devourer and huge Gilmore Girls fan ... Whew!

Heart Trauma

It was crazy.

It had been a year and a half since I had an incident. The last time it went off 22 times. At least this time it wasn't as painful. Painful, but ...

This time it felt like somebody was kicking me in the chest from inside out. Last time it felt like an explosion. Either way, I could so do without it.

Four times ...

The first time ... I was a few feet from the doors of the church. Trying to support my co-worker who's little girl had suddenly died.

I was in a rush. Planning to get there 30 minutes early. But actually arriving five minutes after the service was supposed to begin. Plus, I didn't want to go in the first place ... A child being ushered off to Heaven ... Too much for the parents. Too much for someone with a weak heart connected to a time bomb waiting to go off at the sign of any abnormal inner signals.

The parking attendant was standing in the middle of the street and saw me buckle over. And bless his heart, he ran over to me and walked me back across the street.

I thought that if I had some water, it would calm my heart and I'd be okay. The attendant thought that he had had some in his car. But before he could make a move, my heart device went off again.

After I gulped down the bottled water, the device went off for the third time. So much for my water theory. Right? All I could think about was all of the sermons I'd heard about the Lord cracking the sky ....

Maybe if I sat down in my car and tried to relax ... Nope ... 4th chest explosion ... Nice ... I hated this. I hated not being able to control what happens with my body. I hated not being in control of the situation.

I tried to control my breathing and slow my heard down. Probably because of a Batman comic I read when I was a kid; Bruce slowed his heart down and made it appear that it had stopped to confuse a villain.

I called my wife to let her know what was going on. She had no way to get to me in a timely fashion, because I had her car and my car in the driveway -- well, the only key was on my ring. Fortunately my mother lived about ten minutes away and she'd come to pick me up and take me to the nearest hospital.


E.R. But Without George Clooney

Wheel chair.


Vitals taken.

Pretty nurses.

Taking blood.

Hooked up to the the heart monitor.

Talk to three different doctors -- General, Internal Medicine, Cardiologist.

I.V. drip filled with saline.

They have trouble with the needles, because I have "tiny veins". So they send for Jason, who is like, the vein whisperer or something. Because he can get a neele in when nobody else can. And I'm kind of glad they did, because he was lot more gentle than the women nurses.


Television over head, but I don't feel like watching ... A first for me.

I'm cold and nobody offers me a blanket.

Silly me, I thought they'd check me out and then send me home. But they admit me ... Nice.

In the past, I've had a room all to myself. That's in Indiana. But this was Illinois. So I had to share a room with an older man, who looks like he might be a little worse off than me.

The door is on his side and is always open. The closet is on his side. The bathroom is on his side. His television is turned up so loud, which leads me to believe that he is hard of hearing. And God bless him, he passes gas in his sleep. Ain't that nice? So I just stay on my side of the drawn curtain and use the bathroom only when absolutely necessary.

The only good part of the whole thing was the long line of nurses that came in to take care of me from Saturday night to Tuesday morning. A whole lot more pleasing to the eye than the ones I had during my previous hospital stays.










Dominique again.

7am to 7-pm. 7pm to 7am shifts.

The plain but cute girl with the glases that came in to take my blood once.

Emerald took it the next time.

Robyn came during the midnight hours

A random girl with dimples was monitoring my heart from the nurses' station. So when of my leads came loose, she appeared to clip it to the sticker on my chest.

Fine chicks delivering my breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Three squares a day. Gotta love it.

Acquired a taste for black bean burgers and angel food cake. But they wouldn't let me go overboard with my ordering of condiments or too many food items. Because I was on a low sodium diet ... Good times.


TV and Medicine

The television channels were limited on my overhead flat screen. So I ended up watching a whole lot of MARISKA HARGITAY reruns, Chopped marathons and REE DRUMMMOND and her pioneer cooking.

They changed one of my meds, which worried me a little because they couldn't get talk directly to my doctors in Indiana. From Metoprolol to Sotalol.

They restricted me from driving until I could see my regular doctor. But they were recommending three to six months. Uh ... I'm not head over heels in love with my job, but I sort of need to be there in order to get paid and take care of my family. Unless somebody was willing to pay me to stay at home. Which I wasn't holding my breath for. And my doctor was saying that they might not be able to see me for another month because of staff shortages.

Lots of challenges over those 3 and a half days and the ones to come ... But I made it ... Thank God I made

© 2020 LaZeric Freeman


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