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You Don't Have to Like Your Mother.


It's okay for you to not follow the norm and break free.

Now before you go and get your panties all on a twist let me give you a little backstory. I moved out of my mother's house when I was 14, I moved out of the state 5 years later. In the 12 years that I have lived across the country from my mother I have seen her exactly three times, and that's for the best. I could spend paragraph after paragraph detailing the reasons why I feel strongly about the message behind this article but that's not what this article is about. This article is to shed some light on the subject that I feel is considered a little taboo.

We are taught from a very young age that our mother's are supposed to be the ones we can always rely on. That they are to be our best friend's ( at least as far as daughters go) , our confidants and that no matter what we are to respect them and very nearly idolize them. Now for some people I'm sure this is the case. I know plenty of people that had amazing mother's and the bond and relationship that they share is unbreakable. However that is not always the case.

Some of us had the complete opposite experience growing up and we're still told that it didn't matter how narcissistic, abusive or just downright crap our mother's were we basically had to just deal with it because that was the woman who gave us life. I'm here to tell you that it's okay to not like your b mom. In fact it's perfectly healthy.

I and many like myself had the unfortunate curse of being born to a woman who had no business being a mother. I've heard all the excuses in my thirty-one years on the planet. From the fact that she was too young when she had me to the fact that my dad abandoned her. As I grew up and started seeing my birth giver for who she really is instead of the fake image she presents if herself for the world to see, I started to see how many of her reasons were just really crummy excuses so that she could keep this artificial bubble world from popping.

I am not shy about the fact that I don't like my mother. I have had no reason to lie the alter the reality so that it fits my life. I have come to terms with the fact that my mother is never going to be my mother. She's never going to take responsibility for the pure hell she put me through when I was growing up. The simple fact is she's never going to care about anything other than herself and the fabricated world she has built on a bed of lies.

Narcissistic behavior is often talked about when people talk about strained or failed romantic relationships, but I want it to be normalized behavior for that to be an appropriate thing for children to be able to talk about when explaining how they are/were treated by the one person society is trained to tell them will always be there for them. It would be nice if that picture was a reality for everyone, but it just isn't.

I urge you to drive further into your emotions, your thoughts and your relationship with your mother if you feel like some of the things that I have described in this article hit close to home. Your feelings are valid. You deserve to be mad at the woman who has betrayed you. If your mother is like mine she has spent your whole life trying to get you to conform to her standards or to be just like her. Guess what?! You can be your own person. You can defy your mother! Best of all you don't have to like your mom, or heck even love her. Mother's are supposed to love and care for their daughters no matter what, and when that doesn't happen you as the daughter/son have the right to feel whatever way feels right to you.

Always keep in mind that no one but you gets to decide how you feel about something. You have the right to be angry, and you deserve to be heard. If someone has a problem with that it might be because they are part of the problem.

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