Would I Look Good on a Billboard?
The telephone company advertised on the billboard below is in no way endorsed by yours truly, nor am I advising anyone to use the said service. Thank you. Kenneth.
A Billboard In Action
I Suppose That I Should
start from the very beginning. This is a sensible statement. The honest reason that I am publishing this hub is because it dawned on me several weeks ago about how advertisers, big and small, have bought space on the right-of-way to our nation's highways--even the Interstate System is dotted with billboards, some great. Some ignorant.
Usually, when my wife, Pam, and I do get to get out of our house and just ride around, I can swiftly get a headache from trying to read what billboard can take us to the best restaurant, gas station, life insurance, and even businesses that advertise space available on a billboard business that is starving for business.
To be honest. Have you ever had a massive headache from reading billboard messages? If you haven't that is okay. But I cannot complain too much about the numerous billboards that are going up everyday, it might be better this way--than a lot of scantily-clad, gorgeous models on these billboards there to sell cars, homes, and hamburgers.
Believe Me, I Am Not
that much of a fool. Oh, over the years, I have probably been referred to as a lunatic, but you know the old saying . . ."sticks and stones," and blah, blah, blah. The bottom line about this piece and billboards are NOT the subject of this writing, but Yours Truly. And there you sit hoping that I was Jon Bon Jovi, becoming a special guest writer on HubPages. Sorry. Better luck next month.
Please allow me to ask everyone a question: "Why Can't "I" Be On A Billboard?" This is an honest question. All I need is an honest answer. But with that being said, I know that unless I win the Publisher's Clearinghouse with $5,000.00 being given to me a week for life, I shall never be on any billboard anywhere in the world. I know too, that I may be asking too much of these billboard companies, but I do have the Freedom of Speech guaranteed in the Bill of Rights in our Constitution, so I have to re-think my original question and I can say now, my question may not be that much to achieve.
I could call one of the billboard companies and ask them for a price on one of their billboards, one of the best ones seen on I-22 from Hamilton, Ala., (my hometown) going west going toward Tupelo, Miss, and take it from me, you can see anything you please on these bigger billboards that start appearing when you cross the Mississippi State Line. It's enough to cause you go go blind, God forbid. But I could sit here and talk about billboard companies and their various themes, but will "I" ever be seen on even the smallest billboard?
To break “this” plea, about me, yours truly, being a good billboard model, down, just allow me to share (just a few) reasons why:
- Well, I am a good-looking guy. You have to admit that. My smile is very infectious, so even with this one fact, the national, high-end advertisers who buy space on billboards, should be beating down my door to just negotiate a good salary for me to appear on the BEST billboard.
- I am alive. That alone counts for something.
- I am NOT a threat to National Security, so I should have already been adorning billboards throughout our country.
- Women CEO’s, lawyers, judges, lawyers, doctors, teachers, would LOVE to see me on billboards because the fact is: women are responsible for spending most of the Purchasing Money in America. So when the big billboard companies realize this fact, they can approach the right company that will allow me to be seen on their product(s), the powerful women of our nation will cause riots in order to have their photo taken near a billboard where “I” am sponsoring a national bathroom tissue brand or big car company. It doesn’t matter. “I” can sell products—just by smiling (see my photo on billboard) on any billboard where I appear.
And in closing, I want to be totally-fair about my posing on a billboard, which would be a great, brand-new career for me at age 65. The main reason and only reason where there would be a remote chance of something going wrong about “me” being on billboards, would be . . . my image being used on any billboard pushing a nationally-known restaurant chain would end-up as groups of females clamoring, (almost rioting), to be seen near me on any billboard. These women would pay dearly (to me) to have someone snap a good digital photo of the happy woman and me. Even the local police would be called to put a stop to such riots.
I would have said “even the local police and National Guard would be called to put a stop to such riots,” but wouldn’t this statement be a case of going too far?
You can answer truthfully. My feelings won’t be hurt.
June 11, 2019__________________________________________________
© 2019 Kenneth Avery