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Why I'm Better Off Believing in God Than in Nothing At All

Nina Ella is not in any way religious, she doesn't even go to church. Although her relationship with the Creator has been better lately.

Disclaimer: Before you call me names like how this generation mocks those who are religious, let me just say that I am not in any way affiliated to any sort of religious group and whatnot. I am not here to shove my belief down your throat. I'm only here to tell you why my life (and also the lives of people around me) have gotten better since I've mended my relationship with God.

Let me start by saying I've committed almost everything that the 10 Commandments tell us not to do. I guess it's safe to say that I'm a modern-day Mary Magdalene or even worse. Whatever you can think of- been there, done that.

My family is a devout Christian. Growing up, my father never failed to remind me of God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Bible. As a kid, I prayed recited prayers because I had to. I prayed when I was scared or if I needed anything. On good times, don't even count on it. My faith basically only existed when I wanted something.

After college graduation, I really started living. Done all earthly things and I've hurt a lot of people along the way. I didn't care. But even then, I knew that God would forgive me, so I kept sinning. I had an arrogant sense of faith. Looking back, it's as if I was God's spoiled brat child (prodigal child) because I had faith in Him, I knew that no matter what, no matter how much I sin, He would still welcome me back, and that's true. I know, I can feel it in my bones that no matter what we do, we'll be forgiven.

Years of arrogant sense of faith went on. I would pray, but I'd still sin- sometimes even intentionally. It was a vicious cycle. Until something changed in me. I didn't have a "born again moment" or a turning point. It just was there. It's as if I woke up one day and God was truly in my heart. My father did not have to force me, it was magic! It all happened organically and I can't explain how it all began.

I can't tell you the exact date, but my old ways started fading away too. The things that I thought were cool, I don't even feel like doing anymore: Partying till 9 in the morning, getting shit-faced drunk, getting into troubles, making fun of other people, scheming- those things were part of my life for so long. I'm not saying that I'm a saint now, but now I've grown a conscience and I think before I act especially if it may affect others. Before, I'd just run my mouth and curse someone making them wish they were never born, but now, I breathe and try to be a little more compassionate.

I may not go to church, but I pray. Some people are more comfortable not believing in anything for so many reasons. There was a time in my life when I did not have any sort of relationship with God because it was the easiest. I could keep doing anything I wanted without having to answer to anyone, but this is the age when I feel the happiest and most alive. Being at least a decent person makes me happy, it makes me feel there's one less evil person in the world.

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