Why I Am Glad I Didn't Marry My High School Sweetheart
Background of Relationship
I was in love with my high school sweetheart. We dated during our junior and senior years and talked about getting married one day. At the time, I thought my significant other meant it.
After graduation, the boy I was dating disappeared to explore other interests. He went to one college and I went to another one, However, I couldn't forget the deep conversations we had over the years. Apparently, he did.
Many Years Later
It took me many years to accept the fact that my high school sweetheart was not the one for me. When we were in high school, the thought occurred to me but not to him that we would get married one day.
When that didn't happen, I was devastated. Many years later, I finally sorted out why marrying him would have been a bad thing, and my life would have been miserable.
Below are the reasons I am glad we went our separate ways after graduation.
Too Young and Immature
When you are young and in love, you think it will always be that way. The first thing to know for sure is that both of you are going to change. You will get older and become more mature.
You will find out that the person you thought you loved and couldn't live without won't always be that way.
When you spend a long time with your high school sweetheart, you keep thinking that things are going to stay that way forever. That is far from the truth. Both of you will meet new people and have different experiences.
While you are in high school, you are limited to your surrounding and the people you know. After you leave high school, you will meet people from different backgrounds whether you go to college or not. In other words, your options for a life partner becomes a million times bigger.
In Love With Potential
While I thought I was falling in love with the person, I actually fell in love with the potential of what he would become. Now that I see he has never reached his potential, I have thanked God many times that I didn't get stuck with him.
Part of me wanted to maintain a relationship with him because we had a history together. I thought it was easier to stay with someone I knew rather than starting all over with someone else.
In Love with the Idea and Not the Person After All
I couldn't forget about our conversations because I meant what I said, but I found out that he might have meant what he said when he said those things to me, but he reneged on them later.
I was angry with myself for many years for continuing to think about him and fantasize what a life would have been with him.
Finally, I came to believe that I was not in love with him after all. I was in love with the idea of being married.
Free at Last
It took me years to get over my high school sweetheart. I never wished any bad things to happen to him, but it took me a long time to forgive him for leading me on.
Now I am glad he did move on with me. I don't think I would have left him, so I am glad he did leave me. Know I know my life would not have been happy with him.
Mistakes I Made
I made several mistakes.
- I believed what I was led to believe.
- I believed what I wanted to believe.
- It was more comfortable settling for what I was used to rather than embarking on something new.
- I didn't want to give up the history I had invested into.
I superimposed the feeling of a situation I wanted on a person who wasn't ready for it.
Conclusion of the Matter
My situation might be the exception instead of the rule because some high school relationships do end in marriage, and the couple lives happily ever after.
The purpose of this article was to help me sort out the whole situation in my own mind and to help others take inventory of their own situation.