Ever Wonder What Heaven is Like? Is it Real?
If you have questioned if Heaven is real, or what it may look like, then you may enjoy the account below. This story was a dream that I had many years ago in the summer of 2007, and till this day, I remember it clearly as though it is a lasting memory. The oddity of this experience is dying, and then loosing memory of who I was twice removed until the very end of the experience. Hope this blesses you, as it has been an inspiration of hope for me over the years as I have seen loved ones pass away from this life.
Where and When: The Journey Home
It was a normal day, nothing to be esteemed about. I came home from a day of work, night fell, and I went to bed. I fell to sleep peacefully. (From this time forward until mentioned again later I am sleeping in my bed.)
I woke up not remembering anything from my life other than to find myself with my wife and about 50 to 80 people aboard a moving train in a box car. It was a clear sunny day, as it was seen through the 2” gaps between the wooden planks on the walls of the box car. As the train was moving along you could see the country side, consisting of hills and evergreen trees. The time of the year was late summer into early fall, guessing this by the few trees that were starting to show some colored leaves instead of the green that one would expect in the spring or summer. Although, it was beautiful outside, it was stuffy, sticky, hot, and humid inside this box car with the other people. There were people from what seemed to be children as young as 5 years old to elderly with us that day. The air was stale, filled with odor and sweat. The atmosphere was quiet, nobody talking, and slowly a sense of fear filled my thoughts. My wife and I were holding each other's hands knowing without saying a word, somehow all of us we were going to die. The fear was real, but peace somehow presided with it.
As the train began to come to a stop with the traditional sound of a squeal from the brakes, everyone was tightened a little more to the front of the box car. At this time anxiety began to rise up in all of us as the wood plank doors were slid open to the right of the car. There stood two soldiers, with insignia’s I did not recognize nor could I describe other than remembering the light blue color. The soldiers were armed with assault rifles similar to that of an M-16, but more advanced in appearance. The soldier that opened the door pulled out from under the train a set of metal stairs. He ordered us all, in a firm voice to form single file line off the train quickly and quietly. The other soldier stood guard, watching us with a cold stare in his eyes, like death, no emotion. As we all emptied out of the box car, we did as we were told and lined single file as we were guided to a passage leading into the nearby woods. The area around seemed to be deserted other than the train and the path into the woods. After walking for about five minutes into the woods, we came to a clearing that seemed to be half the size of a football field. This field was muddy and had scattered puddles of blood on the ground. The air quality being very foul, made the box car smell wonderful in comparison. We were instructed to walk across the field remaining in a single file line formation and to stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder, facing towards the directions which we came from. Nobody dared to talk, the intensity of fear was rising more. As we finished lining up, standing side by side, you could see that more soldiers were coming to watch all of us. They stood at the edge of the clearing about fifty feet away in formation only to stare coldly and mercilessly in formation with their rifles. The idea of running away, was certain death.
Out from that group of soldiers a commanding officer holding a clipboard and pencil began to walk towards the first person in the line, to my right. Beside him another soldier with a silver side arm liken to a 9mm was drawn at his side. The commanding officer and the other soldier came to the first person in the line which was roughly about twenty people away from my wife and me. He asked a very simple question to everyone, individually. He asked, "Do you denounce Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior?" A few said yes, but majority said no. To the ones that said yes, they were escorted away from the grounds for which we stood. The ones that said no faced a death penalty. The other soldier with the pistol raised it point blank to the forehead and released a single round into the people's head that did not denounce Jesus. Obviously one by one people dropped to the ground dead as their brains were blown out, executed.
Eventually, it was my wife’s turn to answer. She said no, firmly to the commanding officer. Then the soldier shot her. Her blood, flesh, bone, and brain matter splashed across my face and body. Some of it got in my mouth. It was very bitter in taste, but not as bitter with the anger I had towards the executioners. Of course, I said no to the question too. I saw the gun raise and I closed my eyes, and then there was a ding sound. I died at that moment and my blood and body joined the ground with the others.
Finding Myself In Another Place
I suppose there was an uncertain amount of time that passed as I opened my eyes for a second time in this journey. At this point I have forgotten about what just happened and I am completely clueless about my existence for where I am. At this point in time, I have not only forgotten about my “real” life at home on my bed sleeping, but I have forgotten about my death sentence, being shot in the head. A little dazed and confused I found myself standing in a grey void. The ground was grey, the sky was grey, and the horizons were grey. Other than my lack of understanding and comprehension of self-existence, the only thing going on here was that there were beings and people walking to and from around me. The oddity about the people and other beings coming and going is, I couldn’t understand where they were coming from or where they were going, they appeared and faded away. There were human like beings in this crowd, but I could not get a close enough look to understand who or what they were. I looked ahead of the crowd in the distance I saw a gate. This gate was huge and majestic in size. Taking a guess, it must have been at least 50 feet high by 100' wide, quite possibly larger. Never the less, I felt an urge to check it out with a closer look. As if there was anything else to look at anyways, right? While walking towards the gate, I could not get over how everything else was just grey, except for the people and other beings, which minded no attention to me. I don't even know if they could even see me. They just kept going about their business.
I walked to the gate, which took a little time, because it was in the distance. I really don't know what kind of time it took to get there, because time didn't seem to matter or maybe exist. When I got there, I realized that it was made of solid, beautiful glossy pearl. The gate looked something like you would see in an entrance to a farm house yard, just much bigger and much more exotic in majestic appearance. You could tell that it had two doors to swing open form the center. The main pillars on both sides were too large to even put your arms around. Never the less, here I am in awe, just gazing like any tourist would do. In all this, I noticed there was nothing to see on the other side thru the smaller rails of the gate, as it was grey everywhere.
After gazing at the gate in awe, I happened to look to the right of me and noticed that there was a figure that stood about eight maybe ten feet tall at the opposite end of the gate. His eyes caught mine as they seemed to pierce right thru me. In that moment, I thought he was asking me to come over to him without saying anything at all. As I struggled with ignoring the thought, but continued to stare at this figure, he lifted his right hand and motioned me over in a friendly way. With nothing better to do or anywhere to go, I began to walk over to him. He looked at me with warmth and kindness as I came closer. The closer to his presence I came; it somehow comforted me and soothed my confusion for the moment. His eyes were so brilliant in nature, the thought of love came from him as though flowed from him into me. I then notice that he had a book floating in front of him. This book was about three feet wide and two feet in depth, if closed it would be about foot or so thick. It was lined in gold, bound by leather with the appearance of being very ancient, yet immaculate in condition. It had a clip on it that was obviously open with the latch on other side of the book (to my left). The pages were parchment like and blank. The strange thing about this floating in the air book, as if that wasn't strange enough already, is that the pages seemed to move. They were alive and gently rippling like water spontaneously, and yet it somehow stayed together. In all my wonder, the man looked down at me and asked, "What is your Name?" For a moment, I had to think of what my name is or was, It suddenly came back to me as I remembered and replied “Ryan......Ryan Hutzel”. Suddenly, with a strange excitement rising on the inside of me I asked, “Is my name in that book?” Somehow, I knew my name was in there and that it was a good thing to be there. He looked at me again with those eyes, and asked me to wait a moment. He lifted his hand and motioned it over a page without touching the book. A page lifted above the rest like a wave in the ocean and crashed down to the other side the same way as a wave in the ocean. The page liquidized back to being solid when it came down. Then he began to move his index figure towards pages, text started to appear in bold beautiful clearly written calligraphy black lettering. There were names I could not understand and languages I have never seen as my name began to appear on this page. It was like nothing was there, but appeared like a cloud rippling out of nowhere. After he had saw that my name was in the book, He said "You may enter."
In this moment my thoughts was sarcastically, enter where? There's nothing on the other side, I was wrong as the gates started to swing open away from me. The man said to me, “Walk over to the center and begin to enter in.” I walked over to the center of the gate's center and turned facing it as at this point, suddenly, a massive amount of unexplainable light engulfed my existence, body as warm clothing. It was so bright, yet refreshing, it clothed me in its brilliance. I began to walk into the light and began to see things other than grey. I first noticed what I was walking on. It was bricks of gold, translucent, clear as glass with a shine like nothing ever seen. I looked back at the man at the gate and with his gentle voice he told me to keep going. I did just that. As soon as I passed the gate’s limits, where they had fully swung open too, I looked back and saw the man and the crowds of people still moving about, but suddenly the gates closed without a noise. I looked thru the gates this time only to see that there were hills, landscapes, trees, people, animals, and other life. No grey.
Glimpse of Heaven
As I turned around, I took what it seemed like my first big breath of air. It was awesome. It was like being on a mountain with air so fresh and clear there is nothing to describe the feeling it gives to your lungs. The air felt like it was living and moving on the inside of me. My eyes were opened to colors I have never seen before such as the green on the grass and skies so blue; it is beyond our understanding of blue. Where I was standing, it was like an outer court to a mansion or kingdom, making any amusement park or first-class resort look dim. I saw a group of people at the edge where the court yard turns to roads leading in many directions, to my right. In the center of this group was a man speaking and teaching. In my mind, his name came to me as though I knew his name already was Paul.
Then, I heard a voice, a deep, whisper of a voice; telling me to run towards the throne. There was nobody around me talking to me directly. So, I realized this voice was talking to me individually and internally. I openly asked which way is this throne. He replied, "to the east." Well, not to sound too stupid, I did not know which way was east either. So, I asked which way east was. He said to go left, take that road, and so I did. I began to run in that direction, as I ran, I noticed that there was no resistance or pain with running as I somehow remembered pain associating with running. I ran faster and faster. Things were passing by me at lightning speed. It was awesome. Suddenly, I felt a hand grab my arm by a familiar face that I have forgotten about to this point. It was my wife. She was prettier than ever to say the least. I told her that I really need to be going, because I was instructed to go to the throne. The voice returned and in its kind and loving voice he said, "it’s okay, go see what she wants to show you." I followed my wife down a solid stone pathway to where she wanted to take me.
She couldn't help herself to tell me how surprised I will be to see what she was about to show me "up here." I am thinking I don't even know where “up here” is. She then takes me to this shopping mall. It was extremely glamorous. It had crystal glass storefronts with gems and diamonds glistening in the walls. The entrance paving was marble. She wanted to take me in, but I insisted that this could wait; I really need to be going. Then the voice spoke to me again "Go in, it will be alright," so I did. The inside of this building was huge, there was no end in sight looking in the distance. The ceilings were very tall and made of crystal glass. They were in the shape of a pyramids connected one to another. The inside floors were tiled marble. There were many other stores in there I am not able to remember, except for the one that my wife took me to. I noticed that the light that gleamed thru the ceilings created shadows, but they are not dark shadows as we know them. They were made different shades of light. That is the best I can describe these shadows. I notice that there were also fountains in the center of the mall walkway. The water that was glistening out of them seemed to call to me to drink of it. I did not go there of course because my wife and I were walking into the store she wanted to show me. However, this was the first time, I began to have a feeling of extreme thirst. The store she brought me to was a store of every kind of furniture & household items you could ever imagine. I remember seeing old Victorian, to Amazon, to modern style tables, chairs, sofas, etc. I looked at my wife and smiled with a bit of sarcasm. “Why did you bring me here?” I asked. She said, "Look closer and you will see." I looked closer at her request, first I noticed that the lady behind the counter did not have a cash register or any kind of collection device for money. This detail prompted me to look to the merchandise and I noticed that there were no price tags. I looked to my wife and asked, "Where are the prices?" She replied, "Everything is free, according to the worker here, you take what you want back to your mansion that has been prepared for us." In a moment I thought, “we have a mansion?” Anyways, I did what any man would do when women are given a shopping spree, sighed. Then said, "Honey, you have a lot of fun here, but I must be going towards the throne." She said she was going to have lots of fun, and I believed of course believed her with a big smile. At this time, there was internal battling going on in my mind, fragments of thoughts, how did I understand what money was, what a price tag was, why am I so thirsty?
As I walked out of the store, just as I was going to make a left towards the entrance of the mall, the voice prompted me to turn the opposite direction. I turned and looked down into a valley way in the mall. It was a few steps down, with that water fountain I was talking about earlier. There were two ladies talking to on another down there. The voice instructed me to walk closer to them. As I started to go closer to them, I realized that the water was living, it was calling me to drink it. All the sudden I realized that I was in Heaven (Finally!) That did not stop me from approaching the two ladies. I noticed that the one facing me had blond hair down to her shoulders and was about 5ft 10” tall. The other lady had short hair, very red and was a little taller than the other. They both appeared to be in their twenties.
Let's Pause for a Moment
I need to stop here to tell a story so that the following will make sense. Long before I was born, my dad had a sister (Cathy) that died when she was 8 years old. I never did get to meet her, simply because I did not exist. Over the years, I heard stories from my grandmother and saw pictures before Leukemia took her away. My grandmother, (her mom) told me that as Cathy lied there in her hospital bed moments away from death, she stated that she wanted to go home. Grandma told her she would shortly.
The other insert of information is that I had a great grandmother that died of cirrhosis of the liver. I remember the night before she passed away in her hospital room vividly. The doctors had already given her as much morphine as she could have. She was delusional because of this. She was rambling all kinds of things. I remember being in that room watching here slowly fading away. She started to make sentences that she wanted to go home. Other relatives told her when she gets better they will take her home. I could hear thru these lines of her cries. As my family was hugging her goodbye for the last time, it came to my turn, I gave her a hug while she was still rambling. I softly whispered in her ear, “I will see you one day when I come home.” She stopped talking and smiled. She heard me thru all her agony and medication. The next day, I was in school at around 3:00 pm, I knew somehow, she passed away. I ran home that day. (It was a two-mile walk). I found my mom crying. She told me grandma passed away around 2:50pm today. She was 70 years old at that time.
Conclusion: Wish It Wasn't Over
As I came closer, the lady with the blond hair, smiled ear to ear and I suddenly knew who she was. It was my dad's sister, my aunt I never knew, Cathy. She didn't say anything, but her smile was worth more than a thousand words. The other lady turned around to face me. It was my grandmother. I just started to cry very hard. I threw myself into her arms and gave her a very big hug. She whispered in my ear "welcome home." I suddenly remembered who I am and where I came from. I remembered the soldiers, and remembered that I am not dead, I am sleeping back on Earth in my bed, I was pulled away from my grandmother, everything played quickly in reverse order, as though it was recorded on an old VHS tape, I didn’t want to leave! Everything turned dim to nothing.
I woke up gasping for air in the comfort of my bed. My wife still sleeping, acting like nothing ever happened, only because nothing did happen with her. As I came to my senses, I was in disbelief for a few minutes as anybody would be. I looked at the clock and it was exactly 3:00am in the morning. I realized that I just experienced something bigger than life, but the struggle was real as to why and how can I go back? I know I will not return that way again, but one day when this life does end, I will return, I will go home.
My Personal Comments and Biblical References Found in the Dream
Given the choice, I would not have came back that night. The life of being there was unbelievable and nothing could trade for it. What I experienced was beyond comprehension and somehow I know there was more that I saw than I remember, however it blurs when I think about it. The air, the freedom, the peace was priceless in comparison to this life.
Many times over I have been asked, “Do you really think it was a dream?” My reply is “no,” however I cannot prove or disprove the experience.
While a lot of what I saw in the dream is found in the Bible, there is only one point I want bring to the foreground that is more important than the rest of the dream. Remember the book that the angel (tall man) had in front of him?
This was the most important, here is why:
Exodus 32:31-33 — Mose’s understood the importance of the book of life here, and understood that you name can be blotted out due to sin.
Psalms 69:27-28 — If you choose not to remain faithful to God, then your name is removed.
Revelation 13:4-9 If you name isn’t in this book, you will be a servant to the beast (anti-Christ)
Revelation 20:11-15 — If you name isn’t found in this Book of Life, then you will be cast into the lake of fire……ouch!
The last one in my opinion the harshest one of them all. So, how does one get their name in the Lamb’s Book of Life?
Simple as ABC……
A: Admit your a sinner to God
B: Believe that Jesus is the Son of God and Died for your sins as the ultimate sacrificial lamb (atonement for you and I’s sin)
C: Confess with your mouth, believe in your heart the above and you will be saved and written down in the Book of Life.
Romans 10:9 — That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
If you have prayed this, then go and find yourself a church that believes this as well. Get plugged in, and grow in your walk with Jesus.
Not Home Yet
© 2014 Ryan Hutzel