To Thine Own Self Be True: A Tanka Poem

Picture this. You have secured a scholarship to a prestigious university. On reading the scholarship letter, your heart drops when you read the words ".....gained admission into the school of applied sciences." It's not the course that you have any interest in pursuing. You still do on your parents' insistence. University education was beyond their grasp all those years ago, so they pinned 'graduate' hopes on you.

Would you choose to disappoint them and continue walking the path you choose to tread, or will you study Applied Sciences to assuage their feelings? There is no easy answer, but being true to yourself is always rewards you, all consequences considered.

We Lie To Ourselves for Many Reasons

We do what we must when the need calls for it; lying is a self-defence mechanism that protects us. The harshness of reality. We do it.so often that we don't even realise that we are forcefully masking the truth. We deliberately misrepresent reality in the hope that the situation will improve.

For one, the human mind has a capacity for emoting, though it may not always seem that way. Our minds have a capacity for memories, attitudes, and guided thought processes. As such, it must strike a balance between //gmatism and sentiment. It is our attempt at self-protection. We deceive ourselves, hoping for a better situation.

Research also shows that we deceive ourselves into reducing our cognitive load. When an idea or situation becomes overwhelming, we deceive ourselves into a state of denial. Researchers in a recent study published in the journal of Philosophical Psychology found participants reorganizing beliefs and rejecting evidence when circumstances did not favour them.7/

How We Lie To Ourselves

We trick our minds into believing what we want, and human ingenuity provides the resources for us to do so in different ways. So how do we
fool ourselves into believing what we want?

1. Self-denial

We may realise the truth, but it may be too painful to bear. The negative fallout of it causes us to deny painful circumstances that are too real.

2. Pridefulness

Our innate news for glory explains a human ailment- arrogance. It can lead to unrealistic optimism. These can lead to various health consequences.

3. Self-handicap

This behaviour is the opposite of pridefulness, and people who are unsure of themselves will manifest it.

When people are unsure of their abilities, they will refrain from performing activities that undermine their confidence. For example, students who are not confident in their maths skills will find excuses not to attempt problem sums.


4. Social Pressure


We lie to ourselves because we fear how others think of us. We often cater our images to suit others - we come across to others in a way we believe will be perceived favourably by them. For example, we tell the school principal that we love sports when we don't. You want him to offer your child a place in the school.

5. Cherry-picking information

We tend to select the data that supports our beliefs when processing information and reject what goes against it. This is why we need to know more before embracing concepts that make us uncomfortable.

5. A case of Sour Grapes

When we have a goal but fail to attain it, we tell ourselves that we never wanted to reach it. This self-deception is an attempt, of course, to reconcile ourselves with failure.

The situation mirrors Aesop's Fable of the fox, which could not reach a vine of tasty grapes. He tells himself that he didn't want them so desperately after all.


6. Using Others As Excuses


When we fail at a task, we tell ourselves that the failure is the result of the behaviours of others. A child may say, "Oh, I didn't pass the test because mum had no time to revise the tested chapters with me. Human instinct decrees that we do not take responsibility for our errors.

Why it's Important to Be True To Ourselves

Facing oneself and the truth about our circumstances is always an uphill task, yet so necessary. We often don't realise we're tricking the person in the mirror. Staying in our comfort zones is less angsty. Perhaps we need the motivation to push ourselves out of them.

1. You will Make things easier for yourself

Life will become easier when you live the life you don't spend your life simply accommodating others or needs. Do consider your priorities as living to impress others is draining. Living for yourself as much as possible makes you a better-adjusted person.

2. The right people will come into your life

You will attract the right people into your life lf you live for yourself.You will find yourself surrounded by people who support your endeavours. Why? You will consciously seek them out.

3. You Will Be a Role Model

You exude confidence when you are your true self. That's because you're projecting confidence. People who do what they believe in are already a success and will serve as role-mosell

To Thine Own Self Be True:A Tanka Poem

A clear looking glass
That shows the world who you are
Puddles of rainwater that
Capture Nature's form
In all its truth and glory
In all its might and splendour.