To My Second Dad, It Wasn't Fair.
I never thought a heart could shatter twice like broken glass like it did when I got that phone call to come back to the hospital at 4 am. A part of me knew I shouldn't have left that previous hour, but I had hope that things would have gotten better. Hope was crushed and that's when I knew, my prayers have been ignored.
It happened so fast, you were there alive, smiling, laughing, then in a blink of an eye you weren't. I don't understand it, I don't understand how I can lose another dad just like that, how my mom could lose another husband.
I asked myself a thousand times "why" over and over again when I was by your bedside at the hospital holding your hand. I just don't understand it. I don't understand how this could of happened to a person like you, to us.
Anger is rushing through me, sadness lurks all over. I don't know how to feel anymore, how to love. It's like a curse has been taken upon us that won't break.
All I did was scream "Why" at the top of my lungs, while my world around me shattered into tiny pieces
Yes, you were my second dad, you weren't there when I took my first steps, you weren't there when I spoke my first word. But you were the first one to show me what it was like to have a father figure. I am thankful that you showed me what it was like to have a father-daughter relationship.
You accepted our crazy, loud family. You accepted all of us, and that I am thankful for. You knew me since I was only nine years old. You knew about my first father passing away, you knew that you couldn't replace him, but what you didn't know is that I looked up to you right away as my father.
We first didn't know how to act around each other, but that changed over time. I had to adjust to two new brothers while already having an older brother. But I guess I am lucky to be the only girl.
You were there for me through my stages of growing up. You had been there for all my birthdays, holidays, camping trips. You were there when I needed you to kill spiders for me because mom and I were too scared to move.
You were my dad, and as my dad, you supported me in ways I didn't even know was possible.
I always imagined you would be there to give me away to the man who treats me like a queen at my wedding. I would always imagine sharing that father-daughter dance at my wedding, but I guess that's not in cards for me anymore.
It's not fair dad.
Why were you taken away from us?
At your wedding
"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal."
It will hurt knowing that you will not be here with us, and we will not be able to see you. We will look at that bright sky and smile knowing that you are looking down on us.
It will hurt less and less each day but you will always be in our hearts. The question "Why" will still remain but maybe someday when we meet again, we will get our questions answered.
You will always be my dad, the dad who showed us a lot more to life than the small town we lived in.