Time to Talk About Hog Heaven and Other Questions About Life

Updated on February 1, 2019
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

The Bornean Bearded Pig can be as playful as it is dangerous, so take care.
The Bornean Bearded Pig can be as playful as it is dangerous, so take care. | Source

To Prove What I am Talking About

take in account that we as the human race have really had it in for animals as long as time. I am not in any way, writing to publicize the Anti-Christ, but I do want you to know that it’s high time that we, namely you and I, address those questions that are sometimes used in whispered-tones and some are even used when using charades. Yes. I mean that questions that cut right into the flesh and bone of mankind.

“That dress looks like a Timber Wolf,” a neighborhood gossip carrying a sharp tongue might blaze this nasty into a good woman that no one has ever said anything rough about the gossip, other neighbor, and even Old Glory. She cannot help it if her dress is tattered. Without a 40-hour job, it is tough to be “dressed to the nines,” every time she has to be in public.

If we were walking down some sidewalk and there would happen to be a mutual friend who is talking to a lovely girl (that he has just met) well, he “would be as happy as hog in a mudhole,”

Then there is that issue about a group of men, probably football fans, who love to watch the game both in-person or on TV, but there is one someone (in every crowd) with a tongue that somehow forms some almost-deadly words about an NFL team and the quarterback having a shady background prior to him being drafted by some powerful team and suddenly like magic, his shady background disappears like fog on a lake when the sunrise hits it.

Caarion Crow. Isn't he/she beautiful? But I have never had to "eat crow" for any reason.
Caarion Crow. Isn't he/she beautiful? But I have never had to "eat crow" for any reason. | Source

There Came

one day, “this” guy along with this buddies are watching a heated NFL game and then without as much as a firecracker exploding, he says very loudly: “that poor loser, “Tommy Bob Bakker,” used to be in trouble with the law and I do not know how he is such a great quarterback today.”

The guy’s buddies all know that the guy with the sharp tongue is not that educated about names of NFL players, so the buddies call him on the quarterback’s shady background, and they stand by their stance by saying, “Billy Bill! You do not know one thing about the quarterback and the garbage you said about his background,” “Bakker” suddenly gets defensive, but is soon proven wrong by one of his other friends who is really a good friend of the quarterback who the sharp-tongued gossip proclaimed that the quarterback had lived a shady background—told the gossip and this gang the truth so in short, when he, the loud-talker who knew nothing about NFL games, “I am so sorry. I apologize,” and went on and had to “eat crow.”

Now Let’s Look at Some Other

instances about how mankind has mistreated our friends, the Animal Kingdom. Again, this information is simply MY way of apologizing to the pig and crow and all animals by using them as a way to make someone else look worse than I do at times.

Sinking Like Rats on a Sinking Boat – I ask you. What, in overall terms, has the lowly rat ever conspired to do to you? If you were a rat and saw human beings spending millions on rat poison, how would you feel?

Snake in The Grass – has been around since Adam and Eve. And the serpent was given a rough trip when Adam and Eve were banned from the Garden of Eden, but it was God who told the serpent: “on the ground ye shall go,” so as a rule, snakes must love living on the ground. But do not go out to ask them about living on the ground?

Running Like Chickens in a Storm – is sensible, but yet so very demeaning for the chickens. I can tell you that even in the best of atmosphere, a chicken would run just as fast as they would in a tornado. Chickens are not brave beings and they cannot help it.

A Lion’s Share – can be easily understood if you are from a big family and when dinner time rolls around, if you are the smallest of the family, it is the bigger brothers and sisters and parents who get the biggest, juiciest pork chops and steaks. If you cannot devise a chemical to make yourself grow taller, just be earlier than the rest of your family if you want a “lion’s share” of grub.

Birds of a Feather – is a fun term, but it also can apply to a gang of thieves or a band of troublemakers. Never heard “those kind-hearted men and women are birds of a feather and know how to give food to the neighbors.”

Memory Like an Elephant – go to the nearest zoo tomorrow and ask any elephant what he (or she) did two weeks ago.

Snakes Alive – has been tossed around by some people who are surprised of a situation that they (the folks) once thought was a safe place to pitch their tent. Why couldn’t the people just yell, “Dogs alive?”

So and So is The Bee’s Knees – I have to be honest. I have never understood what this phrase means. One can only think that a girl or a guy is being given a big compliment. But there again I am of the thinking that in order for me to find out about a bee’s knees, I would have to locate one, sit down with him/her, give the bee some honey and then ask that controversial question about a bee’s knees.

February 1, 2019_____________________________


Isn't this piglet so cute and cuddly? So are you so happy that you would wallow in a mudhole?
Isn't this piglet so cute and cuddly? So are you so happy that you would wallow in a mudhole? | Source

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