Handling Failures Well
Adulting is Real!
The demands of this world can be overwhelming specially to young millenials in this generation. The pressure sets in when your own expectations, plus that of your family and friends are not met. Now you begin to question things and begin to doubt your self. At 22 you may still be wandering and trying to search for answers.
Setbacks are not intended to defeat us or make us weak, but they are there to help us grow and become stronger.
At 22, some may have already built an empire in their hands, found a successful career, a stable job, a famous name, etc. But looking at the other side of the coin is an opposite story. There are those who are still struggling to figure out the essence of their existence. However, you cannot actually call them a total failure, maybe delayed success will fit?
Writing this has never been more exciting as I have found my self at the other side of the coin! Yes, I am struggling to find meaning in my life right now. A year ago, I was a hopefull candidate to pass the Certified Public Accountant Licensure Examination, one of the toughest board exams in the country. I enrolled and attended a 6-month review class in one of the best review schools in the Philippines. After months of hardwork, self-descipline, and sleepless nights, I took the exam. It was indeed mind blowing! Six subjects for the three days exam required a huge amount of concentration and focus. But no matter how crazy it seemed and simply trusting how I worked hard for it, I was confident that I will pass. Results day came out,1,699 out of 10,319 or only 16.46% passed the exam, and not seeing my name in the list of passers was a total slap on my face. I broke down while my tears were relentlessly coming out from my eyes and my heart was screaming with disappointment. I know I failed not only my self but also my family who were also expecting me to win. That day I wished it was all just a dream so I could wake up like nothing happened. But as I pinch my skin and felt a jolt of pain, I realized it was real and the frustration I felt was actually happening. Weeks and months have passed by yet I still find my self stucked in the middle of nowhere, my tears cannot hide itself every time this topic is brought out. I was struggling to accept my fate and unable to forgive myself. The CPA title I once dreamed of having have slipped away, I felt helpless, and hopeless. I know I don't deserve to experience such pain because I believe that I have put all my effort and exerted so much hard-work to reach my target. I can't help but to question my capability, I started doubting my self, and my why's were slowly piling up, but with the support of family and friends, I found comfort and was able to cope and soon realized that life is not always about winning. Sometimes we have to endure failures so we can stand braver the next time around.
Bouncing back has never been an easy journey. I had to keep myself busy once again to put back my motivation. At some point I set aside my CPA dream and do things I've always wanted; learn to drive a car and get my license, do watercolor painting, play my old and dusty violin, learn the guitar, plant vegetables in our small garden, join organizations who advocates Environment preservation and fighting Climate Change, signed up as a volunteer in a non-profit organization, and soon will be trying to do surfing. I've found a new kind of perspective that let's me see and appreciate small things. Happiness and contentment is success itself. I've learned to be more grateful for what I have and realized that failing an exam is not the end of everything. Afterall, I'm not the only one who failed. How I react to the situation is the real test. This makes me ask myself, will it destroy me or make me whole again?
Our mind is a battleground
What we conceive in our minds is what we believe in and act on. What we set our minds as our future self, is what we become. But here is the catch, we cannot escape the pressure that our society sets in, our peers have already reached the peak of success, while here we are, searching for that small piece to complete the puzzle within us. We cannot hide our frustration sometimes when bad and unexpected things happen to us, but just a piece of advice, never compare yourself to anyone.
As I journey life's crazy ride, I have learned that every individual in this small planet has their own share of success and failures. Each has their own season to bloom. So as we go along with our life, remember to accept our uniqueness and try to make ways to be a better individual. Life as it is has its own twists, ups and downs, and sometimes things happen unexpectedly, but whatever come our way, we know that we can handle things with a brave heart.