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The Useless Eyeglasses Obsession Hits Hollywood

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

And What is Your Business

in my personal narrative? Not much. This time, I do not plan on saying much when I can say so much with very little words. That is not about my business and what I am doing here going to talk about what's with all of the men I see and hear on TV now succumbing to some "reason" for having to wear glasses.

I am not saying that there's anything wrong with a man wearing glasses, it's just each time I find myself becoming weak for some Second Hand talk show, there they are in their splendor--the people whom I just saw on the evening news about opening their 10th Italian Restaurant in San Diego named "Bill's." And there the restaurateur sat, smiling big and winking at the cameras knowing full-well that it was not the food at "Bill's," but "that" Smilin' Jack's acting career that took off last year. Yeah. It was all of his smiles that sold all of that stale pasta.

François Hollande Journées de Nantes. Just look at how distinguished this man looks.

François Hollande Journées de Nantes. Just look at how distinguished this man looks.

Now on top

of everything else, the talk show's host was wearing his own designer eyeglasses at the time Smilin' Jack was doing the rounds talking about Italian foods, but prior to Jack's publicity, we didn't see any eyeglasses on the show's host and I mean to ask why? So . . .why? Let's play "Inspector Ken" for a moment. The show's host is well-known not as much for his quick wit, but his worrying about his health, hair loss and even his vision. So talk show host keeps a prudent eye exam every month when most of us regular folks keep an eye exam yearly.

So it could be that the Power of Suggestion had hit talk show host when Smilin' Jack strolled onto his set and began rambling about loving San Diego, spaghetti and meeting Harrison Ford last week in Hollywood for an upcoming role in Ford's action-packed movie. And if you remember, last week on this very same talk show, Ford showed up wearing those thin-framed glasses and now Smiling' Jack put his eyeglasses on while talk show host was wearing his solid-gold eyeglasses. One can draw the conclusion that Eye Care and Glasses would make for a great stock investment. And talk show host knows it. In the weeks to come, some "Optometrist to The Stars" will show up on this show and talk in length about the Secrets Behind Optometry. I can hardly wait.

Of course, the Eyeglasses Obsession cannot be blamed entirely on Hollywood's citizens--famous or regular, but some little tool that every human on this earth has: status. And without status, what are we really, but a bunch of bones, chromosomes, and fading hair. But if you want real status, wear non-working eyeglasses. I give you my glowing example: Angela Lansbury, the star of stage and film had years of fame and popularity, then TV came calling and here walked "Murder, She Wrote," and on this show, the main character, "J.B. Fletcher," a widow, but a nose for writing mystery books and a knack for solving crime as well as another sleuth, Mr. Holmes. But "Fletcher" while she is working, wears eyeglasses--with black frames. Quite becoming of the choice.

And "Fletcher's" male co-star, one William Wimdom, equally known for TV and film, is a doctor in "Fletcher's" fictitious hometown, "Cabot's Cove," and goes by the name of "Seth." The best part is that "Seth" always wears eyeglasses whether he needs them or not.

Other mainstream celebrities have been known to wear non-working eyeglasses: Matt Lauer, formerly of The Today Show; Katie Couric, Lauer's co-host also wore non-working eyeglasses on occasion. Bill Gates, Microsoft guru wears eyeglasses because he needs them, but he will never reveal that to us commoners. And while the stars like Will Smith, Clint Eastwood and Gal Gadot are reading their scripts between takes, they are all guilty of wearing non-working eyeglasses.

Again, ladies and gentlemen, I implore you. Why do almost every one of these stars wear non-working eyeglasses if they know they are frauds? Please find out for me and I will give you the credit. But put into proper context and slant, people who wear non-working eyeglasses makes as much sense as wearing those almost-unseen hearing aids. I wouldn't put this past those Hollywood Status Stars. No, sir.

Here are more celeb's who I would go on record in telling them that they would look awful if they cave-in and begun wearing the non-working eyeglasses: Burt Ward "Robin" of "Batman" and "Robin" ABC-TV; James "Matt Dillion" Arness; Eva "Lisa Douglas" Gabor and still a hot chick-of-a-woman: Ann-Margaret.

While I am heading toward the end of this piece, I cannot close without mentioning Hollywood Animal Celebrities who Would Look so Fine when Wearing Non-Working Eyeglasses: Lassie; Rin Tin Tin; Flicka; Fury; Tramp (on My Three Sons); Fred (Cockatoo on Baretta); Arnold (Pig on Green Acres); Mr. Ed; Gus (Field-goal-kicking mule) and last, but not least: Jake (the Raven on Shawshank Redemption).

I guess it does have everything to do with ego, as Sigmon Freud, the Father of Modern Psychiatry, once said. Without ego, what as a man got but a naked man in the mirror. There are two things about this statement that I want to share: one, I am not one to dispute someone as keen as Freud when his main forte is what makes us tick and as for me? I am not going to start wearing non-working eyeglasses because what the world really needs is just another Egotist whose glasses do not work.

________________________________March 22, 2018

Bangladeshi woman wearing glasses--this Non-Working Eyeglasses thing is now going global.

Bangladeshi woman wearing glasses--this Non-Working Eyeglasses thing is now going global.

© 2018 Kenneth Avery

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