Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.
This is The Introduction Aimed
at every single or married man in the USA. If you are in your late 50s, then you must know what a two-wheeled lawnmower looks like. The machine had a cylinder below the handle and between the two wheels. The cylinder had four sharp-edged blades that turned as you turned the two wheels. No gas required. No pulling the nylon cord in the broiling sun--but fellas, did you remember the rivers of sweat that ran down your neck? Then you are my type of guy. Thanks, Kenneth.
In the Days of The Two-Wheeled Lawnmower
the teenage boys reacted from two forces: when a pretty girl about his age, with brown eyes, long brunette hair and wearing red shorts. The other force was his dad yelling, "son! Time for you to mow the lawn!" Both forces got the teenage boy's attention, but only one made him happy.
The teenage boys of the day when the two-wheeled lawnmower was put on the market, this machine spelled "horror" when his dad came home from the hardware store and came home with one of these highly-technological inventions. The model (below) was after the first two-wheeled lawnmower that ran on "Teen Boy Power," and this one (below) was operated on gasoline. I remember when one of my dad's friends brought a gas-powered, two-wheeled lawnmower to show him the "new" mower, my young heart stopped right then and there.
"If my dad forks-out the dough for this thing," I thought to myself. "My carefree days of sleeping late and having fun will end." And I can still recall how my chest hurt and palms of my hands sweated as my dad took his time to inspect the new mower. His face did show the face of being interested, but when his friend told him the "low, bargain price," he shook his head and said no thanks. I whispered, thank you, Heavenly Father, when my dad turned the mower down.
The entirety of this topic could be about "The Evolution of Lawnmowers," but careful readers (like you) will know right off that there were really two controversies that came on the scene before the USA knew the first iota about lawnmowers. The bottom line was all about "pride in the appearance" of one's home. About the time that the high-thinkers sat to working on new, efficient ways to do their work to provide Americans with more leisure time, so just prior to those Prosperous Days in the early 1950s, American homeowners let their lawns grow free as the wind--with maybe the use of an old-fashioned sling blade that kept the grass from devouring the house. And please do not get me started about that debacle of thought about Goats tied down in the yard to eat the grass--this idea was ludicrous because goat owners got wise and tried up jack up the price just like the high-powered Petroleum Corporations tried to jack up the price of gasoline in the 1970s. Remember the long lines at your local gas station?
So as Time and Prosperity became dancing partners, American homeowners wanted some method of cutting their grass to give their homes a House and Garden Magazine look, so someone invented the two-wheeled lawnmower with a cylinder (with four sharp blades) that ran as the homeowner pushed it via the wooden handle and in a few hours, the lawn was cut into shape. The only up shot to "this" method of lawn mowing was it was FREE of having to stop and fill the tank with gasoline. These early two-wheeled lawnmowers ran on manpower.
Enter the Evolution of the Gas-Powered Two-Wheeled Lawnmower (above), and so it was when hardware stores began selling the upgraded, gas-powered two-wheel mower, the other stockholders of the first two-wheeled lawnmower that used Manpower were fit to be tied. Lawsuits were filed. Threats were lodged. But nothing of consequence happened. Americans took to yanking a nylon cord that started the gas-powered, two-wheeled lawnmower and the nation was off to the races.
Life was good. Lawns were being mowed and looking prideful. Homeowners, the men, mind you, started looking forward to Saturday mornings for this was "their" time (after a hearty breakfast with the family) to mow the grass. And these early homeowners made an event out of it. The guys would mow awhile and sip a cold beer on their break times. Men were men in these days and I hate to sound chauvinist, but these guys were happy with their manual labor and they got plenty of healthy exercise and this made these husbands go from the lazy weekends to a vim and a vigor that could only be derived from the gas-powered, two-wheeled lawnmower.
And for some husbands, Saturday Lawn-mowing became fun for a few of the wives who would try to charm the husbands to letting them (the wives) walk a few rounds behind their new gas-powered, two-wheeled lawnmower--and some husbands, to keep the peace at home, gave in to these fun-loving ladies while other husbands were quick to put their foot down and demand that the wives take care of the house and they (the husbands) would keep the lawn looking great.
Ahhh, but you know and I know that while all of the early husbands with or without gasoline-powered two-wheel lawnmowers, nothing is forever and these early husbands who enjoyed the weekly Saturday morning lawn-mowing were too quick to be boastful, but that's the way it always is when Pride and Mankind meets.
Every time that a Boastful Pride begun to enter the hearts of the American husbands who worked to keep their lawns looking tip-top, plus having near-perfect physical condition, someone from a higher intelligence living in a bigger city--working in his basement most days and nights to give America, maybe the world, to a brand new way of mowing their grass: Say hello to The New, Improved Riding Lawnmower! Just one test mow by one American husband then led to word-of-mouth and soon, every American husband had to have a New, Improved Riding Lawnmower. The only thing the husband need worry about was putting the gasoline in the tank and then go back to his Saturday morning Mowing Fest.
But even with the New, Improved Riding Lawnmower, a feeling of sadness begun to hit the American husbands and wives because his Manual-Powered, Two-Wheeled Lawnmower was there sitting in some corner of the homeowner's house--allowing rain to drip down on its frame causing rust to all but eat it to the ground.
For every ray of sadness there is a ray of happiness. The husbands with New, Improved Riding Lawnmowers found a use for their Manual-Powered, Two-Wheeled Lawnmowers: That is why almost every American husband on a Saturday morning would yell almost in perfect unison, "Son! Time for You to Mow the Grass!"
And with that, the hard-working, ingenious American husbands could give-up all of that strenuous walking behind that old lawnmower and if the lawn needs mowing, my wife can mow it. She's been after me for days to let her mow our lawn.
Thus entered another joyous American Invention: College Football.
© 2018 Kenneth Avery