The Truth About Best Men and Maids of Honor

Updated on September 17, 2019
kenneth avery profile image

I was born in the south. I live in the south and will die in the south. This is only a small part of the memories I share.

See if You can Spot The Groom and Maid of Honor in This Photo

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The Purpose of

a groomsman (North America), or usher (British Isles) is one of the male attendants to the groom in a wedding ceremony. Usually, the groom selects close friends and relatives to serve as groomsmen, and it is considered an honour to be selected. From his groomsmen, the groom usually chooses one to serve as best man.

Best men, not Best guys, also see that the Groom settles down on or way before his wedding day which includes the Bachelor Party, which might include racy jokes and hot female dancers who tell the groom that t(this) night is the last night of your freedom, and then giggle while brushing their long blond hair into the Groom’s eyes.

Another responsibility of the Best Man is to keep the Groom sober enough to get to the wedding and be able to remember the bride’s name and vows. This duty also includes making sure that if the groom drinks too much, way too much, the Best Man is to take matters in his own hands—including taking the Groom to a quiet place and pumping him with gallons of black coffee, salami sandwiches and other foods that will help this poor, drunken Groom to come back to earth. These things that I am telling you is not isolated things, but everyday things. Sure. Some Pre-Wedding Activities (Bride and Bridesmaids Party included) can and does get out of hand, but the thing is: isn’t this what is to be expected?

This Could be The Best Man or The Maid of Honor After a Wedding

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The Maid of Honor

was a maiden, meaning that she had never been married, and was usually young and a member of the nobility. (back in Olden England) Maids of honour were commonly in their sixteenth year or older, although Lady Jane Grey served as a maid of honour to Queen Catherine Parr in about 1546–48, when Jane was only about ten to twelve years old. Interesting if you love this Era in World History, but we are living in 2019.

My views of a Maid of Honor can be almost-equal to that of the duties of the Best Man, except maybe a little more discreet. Example: if the Bride bends her elbow a bit too much and begins to slur her speech, take huge bites of cake, point at other diners in the restaurant and yell profane phrases to the restaurant manager, well, the Maid of Honor, who is there with the Bride, needs to not let this much happen. She is supposed to be guarding the Bride (like a mama wolf guarding her cubs) so she will not be embarrassed, both the Bride and Maid of Honor. Yes, the Bridesmaids too.

The duties of a Maid of Honor vary, but they can relate to the bridal party and their wants and needs. She helps to organize the Bridal Party or Bachelorette Party, supply and negotiate the vendors who will be supplying food and drink and maybe she can get a kick-back that comes with the deal.

Another duty of the Maid of Honor is when she meets the Bride and Bidesmaids, and the Bride or Bridesmaids get a bit intoxicated, she is to take care of the drunken parties. And keep it to herself and never speak of it ever. She is also the Bride’s confidant and also keep those dark secrets that the Bride spills under the spell of whiskey or wine. And smile like Miss Universe during the entire wedding festivities.

The Best Man Has to be Focused Every Moment of The Wedding

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Now, Let’s Face

a cold, dark truth that I know has seldom been written (or talked about) in public. I am talking about, of course, “that” scary time before and after the Groom and Bride say, “I do,” or “I will,” and the next few moments are THE saddest moments in everyone in the Wedding Party’s lives. Hands down. Now to explain to you what I am talking about.

The bride has put her wedding dress into a dry closet to preserve it for years.

As the priest or preacher is giving the Bride and Groom the chosen Scriptures and tells the Bridal Couple to exchange their vows, the Best Man and Maid of Honor are both secretly-dreading when the now-married couple says, “We do,” and they WILL, have happy lives, but not the Best Man and Maid of Honor. If you think that I am joking, let me continue.

The thing about what the Best Man and Maid of Honor are dealing with is not known by anyone at the wedding guests and remainder of the Wedding Party. This is, again, THE saddest few moments EVER to be felt by the Best Man and Maid of Honor. May I explain why?

For years, the Best Man and Maid of Honor have been “best” buddies to the Wedding Couple. The two of them have went through Grade School, High School and even College and have loved them better and closer than if their real brothers and sisters loved them this much. Maybe their siblings do, because I don’t want to overlook anyone here. And as the Wedding Vows and “I do,” or “We do,” is coming to a close, it is a miracle because the Best Man and Maid of Honor are not breaking down with uncontrollable weeping and sobbing, even the priest or preacher is in the dark about what is going on.

I Need to Tell You About

the after-math of this solemn event, the Wedding. One more thought about the Wedding Guests also having sad, secret feelings like the Best Man and Maid of Honor are experiencing, not even the Groom and Bride, Best Man or the Maid of Honor’s parents and relatives who are in the wedding are clueless to what the Best Man and Maid of Honor are facing as the time ticks away.

Right now, kick that Classic Rock Steve Miller tune, “Fly Like an Eagle,” when the tune starts out by Miller saying, “Time keeps on-a slippin’ into the future . . .Tick, Tock, Tick . . .” this one song fits this sad and depressing moment like a white glove. Play the song (if you have forgotten it) and you will know what I am talking about.

As the newly-married Man and Wife are united in Holy Matrimony start jogging down the center aisle of the church (After the priest or preacher says, I present to you, Mr. and Ms., “Newly Married Couple,” and the Wedding Party applauds so loudly. But even as the Best Man and Maid of Honor are there to help toss rice on the Wedding Couple, these two need to break-away and vent their feelings otherwise in years to come, the two might face depression like it has a V-8, 454 cubic inch Chevy Big Block engine, and running 20’s all around with an automatic tranny and headers. Friends, this monster is the Mother of Depression.

Now the years forward from the Marriage of their Best Friends, the Best Man and Maid of Honor will see the Married Couple frequently, but not like it was when they were single. No, sir. The Married Couple has begun making ONE life for them and the Best Man and Maid of Honor do not need to be told that they will never look the same as the Married Couple once did prior to their wedding, but they are all friends, but NOT close friends.

Years pass and the Married Couple begin to have kids. And this will be the FINAL “nail in the coffin,” of what was once a lively, fun-loving Foursome which has changed to a (just) friendly Twosome of friends, the Best Man and Maid of Honor. And with each short visit to the Married Parents of now Three children, the Best Man and Maid of Honor have realized that their association with the Wedded Couple may be fading, if not over, but neither of them will speak it. Because the two already know that life is like this every day of the week.

So . . .(you will love this) . . .one day after a short visit to the Wedding Parents and Five Children, the Best Man and Maid of Honor start talking and this time, their talk is more sincere and felt with deeper feelings. They both exchange a long stare at dinner, something the two have practiced for years during and after their best friends were wed.

The Maid of Honor looks at the Best Man and quietly says, “you think that we could, uhhh, go and see a movie later?”

And yet another couple is changing from the titles, Best Man and Maid of Honor, into a Happy Dating Couple, who fell in love during and after a sad, sad wedding.

August 31, 2019______________________ Happy Labor Day to one and all.

Many Times, Maids of Honor Are Sad, Lonely After a Wedding

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Questions & Answers

    © 2019 Kenneth Avery

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