The Trouble About $19.99
I Don't Have a Whole Lot of Time
so I will make it quick. I figured that you would like a quick presentation since I sensed that you, like the masses today, are living that “Jet Age Life,“ and that is the best way to describe how you get up from a decent night‘s rest, hurriedly-read the headlines, gobble-down your instant breakfast and hope that the lights are with you because you cannot afford to be late otherwise you will be canned and on the unemployment line.
Time was I was the first employee in and the last one to go home—and do you know how far that I went? Nowhere. It wasn‘t for me being lazy or drinking on the job or maybe having a few affairs with the girls in the office. No. It was because the company that I worked for was a family-owned company and it was the relatives who got the raises and promotions.
Now that I have established where I came from, now I want to tell you where I am and what to my wandering eyes did I see. In the past few nights I have been following this very special company that always gets my attention by flashing pretty girls frowning thanks to their dog barking in anger for (the girl) not being an expert dog nail trimmer. Some nerve, that dog. Give it a warm place to live and plenty of grub and snarl when you want to trim its nails.
But That Problem Was Soon Solved
in light-speed thanks to a brand-new trimming device that almost anyone can use to trim the cat or dog‘s nails and trim those nails in perfect peace. ..all for the low, low cost of $19.99! What a deal. That‘s all. $19.99 plus (you knew that this was coming) $4.00 shipping and handling and you only call with your credit card number and enjoy the Space Age Animal Trimmer for $23.00. It‘s tough to beat a deal like that.
After that great success, another invention was put on the market: the, “Super Light,“ which was mostly something that we already had and some fast-thinking opportunists did a little work on it and with that improvement, the souped-up flashlight was placed on the market for $29.99, and yes, the $4.00 went with the price, but NO shipping fee. Wow! No fee for some employee of some material-mover. What a great country we live in!
But pretty soon, the wiser consumers who doled out their hard-earned $29.99 (plus $4.00 for taxes and handling), looked carefully at their flashlights and suddenly-realized that they had been took for over $30.00, and that was NO deal. Truly the mark of a greedy opportunist, but “those“ people had made enough scratch to retire in Key West, Fla. Now they live a wonderful lifestyle not wanting anything or anyone.
Speaking of Losing Weight
(like me), I keep seeing a former NFL star with his TV show star and both cry to high heaven about how much weight they both have lost by simply taking some revolutionary break-through where you do NOT go on any diet, cleanse, count calories or go to something called a Boot Camp, whatever that is and their super-affordable drug is $59.95 (plus $4.00 for shipping and handling) and the drug manufacturer will double the two bottles and then double those two bottles making the grand total of 6 bottles of super-powerful weight loss and the male part of this famous duo states: “I‘ve lost 30 pounds and 10 pant sizes!“ He even proves it by holding up a pair of big pants. Oh, if they only sold their marvelous product for $19.99 (for shipping and handling) what a mega-marriage they would have.
On top of the diet drugs, we have something on our TV screen that can supply you and I with (almost) every cooking utensil in anyone‘s kitchen. Let me try to recall what the ad is selling and for how much. For the low, low, low price you simply use your credit card and spend $9.95, not $19.99, plus the $4.95 plus shipping and handling) for, now get this: a cookie sheet-looking device; a big bowl that fire and even the lava from a volcano will not hurt it; another handy device where you can put all kinds of meat and bread and the meat comes out perfectly-barbecued and the bread toasted, you get these cooking utensils (plus the 6 that I forgot) for only $9.95 (plus the $4.95 for shipping and handling). While I‘m at it, let me pose this question to you: if the overall price for some product is $19.99 or $9.95, then how much is the handling? The announcer says, ““that‘s $59.95 plus shipping and handling,“ is the $4.95 the total of the $4.95 or did someone forget the price of the handling?
To Make Matters Worse
the entire country, maybe our world, is being taken-over, not by power-hungry Communists, but those Greed-Driven Capitalists who are infecting our TV networks by buying time on our TV networks and they sell things going and coming for $19.99 (plus $4.95 shipping and handling) and I really think that this entire gig is a ruse. It is. Think about it. Adolph Hitler‘s most-treacherous henchman was not Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Gestapo and SS, but Joseph Goebbels, the Prime Minister of Propaganda.
Even Hitler admitted that “if you tell a lie long enough, the masses will believe it for the truth.“ I can prove it. If you are a Hitler Buff, then you will agree that he did know how to make a speech because of his awesome theatrics, he kept his audiences spell-bound and brain-washed in the process.
This week products on TV will sell for weeks for $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) and then in the next weeks to come . . .$29.95 (plus handling) and most of us will keep those credit cards handy and pay the price without flinching a muscle.
Hold it! That is already going on. Guess the thing about propaganda worked. Where did we go wrong?
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© 2019 Kenneth Avery