The Trouble About $19.99

Updated on January 21, 2019
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

In the future, the man's glasses, clothing, and laptop will all cost $19.99.
In the future, the man's glasses, clothing, and laptop will all cost $19.99. | Source

I Don't Have a Whole Lot of Time

so I will make it quick. I figured that you would like a quick presentation since I sensed that you, like the masses today, are living that “Jet Age Life,“ and that is the best way to describe how you get up from a decent night‘s rest, hurriedly-read the headlines, gobble-down your instant breakfast and hope that the lights are with you because you cannot afford to be late otherwise you will be canned and on the unemployment line.

Time was I was the first employee in and the last one to go home—and do you know how far that I went? Nowhere. It wasn‘t for me being lazy or drinking on the job or maybe having a few affairs with the girls in the office. No. It was because the company that I worked for was a family-owned company and it was the relatives who got the raises and promotions.

Now that I have established where I came from, now I want to tell you where I am and what to my wandering eyes did I see. In the past few nights I have been following this very special company that always gets my attention by flashing pretty girls frowning thanks to their dog barking in anger for (the girl) not being an expert dog nail trimmer. Some nerve, that dog. Give it a warm place to live and plenty of grub and snarl when you want to trim its nails.

But That Problem Was Soon Solved

in light-speed thanks to a brand-new trimming device that almost anyone can use to trim the cat or dog‘s nails and trim those nails in perfect peace. ..all for the low, low cost of $19.99! What a deal. That‘s all. $19.99 plus (you knew that this was coming) $4.00 shipping and handling and you only call with your credit card number and enjoy the Space Age Animal Trimmer for $23.00. It‘s tough to beat a deal like that.

After that great success, another invention was put on the market: the, “Super Light,“ which was mostly something that we already had and some fast-thinking opportunists did a little work on it and with that improvement, the souped-up flashlight was placed on the market for $29.99, and yes, the $4.00 went with the price, but NO shipping fee. Wow! No fee for some employee of some material-mover. What a great country we live in!

But pretty soon, the wiser consumers who doled out their hard-earned $29.99 (plus $4.00 for taxes and handling), looked carefully at their flashlights and suddenly-realized that they had been took for over $30.00, and that was NO deal. Truly the mark of a greedy opportunist, but “those“ people had made enough scratch to retire in Key West, Fla. Now they live a wonderful lifestyle not wanting anything or anyone.

Speaking of Losing Weight

(like me), I keep seeing a former NFL star with his TV show star and both cry to high heaven about how much weight they both have lost by simply taking some revolutionary break-through where you do NOT go on any diet, cleanse, count calories or go to something called a Boot Camp, whatever that is and their super-affordable drug is $59.95 (plus $4.00 for shipping and handling) and the drug manufacturer will double the two bottles and then double those two bottles making the grand total of 6 bottles of super-powerful weight loss and the male part of this famous duo states: “I‘ve lost 30 pounds and 10 pant sizes!“ He even proves it by holding up a pair of big pants. Oh, if they only sold their marvelous product for $19.99 (for shipping and handling) what a mega-marriage they would have.

On top of the diet drugs, we have something on our TV screen that can supply you and I with (almost) every cooking utensil in anyone‘s kitchen. Let me try to recall what the ad is selling and for how much. For the low, low, low price you simply use your credit card and spend $9.95, not $19.99, plus the $4.95 plus shipping and handling) for, now get this: a cookie sheet-looking device; a big bowl that fire and even the lava from a volcano will not hurt it; another handy device where you can put all kinds of meat and bread and the meat comes out perfectly-barbecued and the bread toasted, you get these cooking utensils (plus the 6 that I forgot) for only $9.95 (plus the $4.95 for shipping and handling). While I‘m at it, let me pose this question to you: if the overall price for some product is $19.99 or $9.95, then how much is the handling? The announcer says, ““that‘s $59.95 plus shipping and handling,“ is the $4.95 the total of the $4.95 or did someone forget the price of the handling?

To Make Matters Worse

the entire country, maybe our world, is being taken-over, not by power-hungry Communists, but those Greed-Driven Capitalists who are infecting our TV networks by buying time on our TV networks and they sell things going and coming for $19.99 (plus $4.95 shipping and handling) and I really think that this entire gig is a ruse. It is. Think about it. Adolph Hitler‘s most-treacherous henchman was not Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Gestapo and SS, but Joseph Goebbels, the Prime Minister of Propaganda.

Even Hitler admitted that “if you tell a lie long enough, the masses will believe it for the truth.“ I can prove it. If you are a Hitler Buff, then you will agree that he did know how to make a speech because of his awesome theatrics, he kept his audiences spell-bound and brain-washed in the process.

This week products on TV will sell for weeks for $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) and then in the next weeks to come . . .$29.95 (plus handling) and most of us will keep those credit cards handy and pay the price without flinching a muscle.

Hold it! That is already going on. Guess the thing about propaganda worked. Where did we go wrong?

To Learn More . . .Click on These Sites:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Heinrich_Himmler

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Goebbels

Even this old-fashioned, stylish hat could be yours for only $19.99.
Even this old-fashioned, stylish hat could be yours for only $19.99. | Source

© 2019 Kenneth Avery

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    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Mr. H. -- tried as I did to find the Below Hub, which I forgot, is a hub in thesis form. Enjoy . . .

      The Green Pig Disease/Kenneth Avery, hubpages

      Peace to You, My Talented Friend.

    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Mr. Happy . . .

      Do not worry. I will do my best, but right now I am involved on another project.

      Cool dudes like you would say, Gig.

      Peace.

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      19 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      Sorry Amigo, can't find that Green Pig thing. I scrooled down through all your articles and either I missed it, or it's not there. If You happen to find it, please put a link. Thank You.

    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Mr. H. -- Always a distinct pleasure to hear from you. I could have mentioned Hunter to you---just forgot, but I love his works and how he worked although I could never work with so much alcohol and dope running in my veins. I am not being self-righteous.In my drinking days as I will refer to them . . .I thought that booze was everything; more valuable than cash, or scratch as Hunter said.

      I want you to me THIS favor: Look on my Profile Page and search for a hub that I wrote, hopefully, with Hunter looking over my shoulder.

      The hub: : "The Green Pig Disease."

      To respect you, Awrighty. . . .lata matta.

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      19 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      "Are you familiar with the writings of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson?" - I thought we already covered this: I've read everything Hunter published. Seven of his books are right here behind me. I actually asked You somewhere what You thought about "Fear and Loathing in America" and "The Proud Highway"? I believe I am still waiting for that answer but ya, I read all that Hunter published (in terms of books, not articles) and I read absolutely everything Oscar Wilde wrote. They both influenced me terribly. I cannot lie. Without them, I would not be here, writing this comment. Or, writing anything for that matter.

      Now, "seig heil" and "Peace" next to each other look like an oxymoron to me.

      Ya ... when I go off on people I try to do it with style, like Hunter. I mean really, if You are a "pig-fucker" (Hunter's term which I love dearly) then, You deserve it. Not You specifically. I'm just sayin', in general. Hunter gave me that confidence to say what I wish without worrying about who likes it, or not. If someone does not like what I say then, that's their problem. Haha!! : )

      Lastly (for now), do You believe in magic (real magic not the Las Vegas illusionist crap)? Or, miracles? Just curious and by the way, I'm a very, very curious creature. I honestly can't help it much lol

      Alrighty, I wish You well! Best of Luck!

    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Mr. Happy -- as one with a huge I.Q. YOU, I will ask you this question: Are you familiar with the writings of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson? I have finally seen his style in THIS comment. If not, I will keep my mouth shut. If so, then we can still be allies.

      Seig heil!

      Peace.

    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Liz - - - nice comment. Thank you so much. I have missed you, Doris-James, Mr. Happy, and all of my Followers. With the move to Maven, which I do not understand, (sure wish someone would) I am over where I was eight years ago. Not making any money to speak of, but trying to write my fool head off just so I might make their $50 pay-out.

      Anyway, Liz, thanks for letting me vent. Write me anytime.

    • profile image

      Ken Avery 

      19 months ago

      Hi, Dear Doris . ..why? You should comment on anything I write. If I said something to make you upset, I am sorry.

      Please write me.

      Love, Kenneth

    • MizBejabbers profile image

      Doris James MizBejabbers 

      20 months ago from Beautiful South

      Dear friend Kenneth, I was going to comment, but you said it all. There's nothing left over to say. Have a happy evening.

    • Mr. Happy profile image

      Mr. Happy 

      20 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      "I sensed that you, like the masses today ... cannot afford to be late otherwise you will be canned and on the unemployment line." - I considered myself blessed to not have to do any of those things. I do regard that life: of waking up when You do not wish to, force-feeding yourself some sort of breakfast You don't really want, rushingly jumping in the shower and perhaps brushing your teeth like Mr. Bean, while driving, is an insane life. No, thank You! Not for moi.

      "Time was I was the first employee in and the last one to go home—and do you know how far that I went? Nowhere." - Okay, what is this? Are You trying to get me into a depressive episode? Haha!! Have You ever read: "The Jungle", by Upton Sinclaire? That's where I'm going with this. Or better say: this is where I see this piece of writing going.

      "a big bowl that fire and even the lava from a volcano will not hurt it" - Haha!! Can it survive a nuclear blast too? I mean, You never know and we could use a bowl after a nuclear blast. We can use it to collect our intestines off the ground. Or, maybe other people's intestines when we get hungry (we will not be able to be too picky with what we eat, after a nuclear blast).

      "Adolph Hitler‘s most-treacherous henchman was not Heinrich Himmler, the head of the Gestapo and SS, but Joseph Goebbels, the Prime Minister of Propaganda." - I didn;t know I could like You even more than I already did but I can! You nailed it here. Goebbels was the master-mind behind Hitler. Without Goebbels, Hitler could have been just another sore, lonely, loser, talking crazy #%$ from one corner of a street, to another for his entire life but no, Goebbels turned him into the Furher and we all got screwed, directly, or indirectly. And we're still getting screwed as You remember the recent chants from Charlottesville.

      "If you are a Hitler Buff, then you will agree that he did know how to make a speech because of his awesome theatrics, he kept his audiences spell-bound and brain-washed in the process." - Sounds like someone I know (not personally) in the White House.

      As I wrote in my last comment, on another article of yours: I'm not part of the mainstream. I'm a goat, not a sheep. Well, I'm really a wolf but let's just keep it with goat for now. They don't have as bad a rep as wolves (which in itself is an unfair judgement - wolves are rather nice creatures). So, I don't do credit cards much. I;m a cash type of guy. Also, I block all advertisment on the Internet with Adblock and AdblockPlus. I read stuff like: "Consuming Kids: Protecting Our Children from the Onslaught of Marketing & Advertising". I got a middle finger for the Marketing and Advertising Industry. That's all one gets from me for brainwashing people and manipulating their behaviour. I could go on and on but You get my drift: #$%^ing bastards! Haha! Excuse the language but I got it out for deceptive, conniving, sly assholes.

      Alrighty, I suddenly feel much better. Haha!! Hey, I might sound upset but I'm not. I am grateful for You writing about the topic and I am happy to be able to comment on it and/or have a discussion about it. We should ban all public advertising, unless it is the front of a store but no posters, no flashing neon lights on top of buildings, or zepplins flying, or anything of that sort. Advertising should only be on the actual brick and mortar store, or in a yellow-pages type of book, where all businesses are listed.

      Deep breath ... sigh. Okay, enough for me, or of me. Thank You very much for writing on this topic though. I appreciate it. Cheers!

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 

      20 months ago from Oakley, CA

      Exactly so! And not only the things you have pointed out, but the ones who make grossly exaggerated claims about the actual "worth" of their products. "A $100 value, yours for only $19.99!"

      Get a clue, folks, if they're selling it for a penny less than $20., that's all it's worth, and probably less, given the fact that most of this stuff is shoddy imported crap and they're probably multiplying their cost times 3 or 4 when they sell it to the gullible fools...

      (And who do they really think they're fooling with that missing penny, anyway? $19.99, for all practical purposes, is $20, since you can't even buy bubblegum for a penny these days...)

      I am SO grateful for the mute button on the TV remote, and the fast-forward button when watching recorded shows...

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