Katie doesn’t have any experience with this topic—that’s why she’s opening up to all of you in hopes of learning more!
I came across something the other day that clicked on so many levels. I feel like I start every article this way, but this time I really mean it. I am writing these articles on the premise to understand more about myself, others, and explore the power of perspective. I had a drastic change of perspective last week.
In the book I'm reading, the author talks about finding herself back at her favorite childhood places and feeling the most at ease, seen, and loved. She thinks as she gets older, she gets further away from her true self. That true self she is referring to is who she was when she was younger, naive, and hopeful.
I paused for a second. For the longest time I have always had a low-key judgement in my head when thinking about moving back to my hometown. I always thought of it as giving up or not "making it." I guess it comes from that small town mindset of 'getting out of this place and making something of myself.' Whatever that means.
But after I read this and thought about my current situation, I realized that's what I have done. I didn't move back to hometown, but I moved to a small, southern, mountain town in the middle of nowhere. There were lots of considerations involved with the move, but after being down here, I know my subconscious was making a lot of decisions for me. I was desperate to get back to a place that felt like home and a place where I felt like I could be myself. It's not that I feel like I have been living a lie, necessarily, I just feel like I haven't been fully living. Being in a place that reminds me of how I was when I was younger is refreshing. It feels full and real. As opposed to the fast-paced life, city life, things here in the mountains feel bigger. I am not trying to sway you to country life, even though I'm definitely biased, but I am swaying you to think about the places that made you most happy as a kid. And then ask yourself why? When you go back there now, how do you feel?
I love thinking about moving back home now, and thinking about what it means for others who move home. And I guess when I say home, it isn't the house where you grew up, or your hometown, or your home state. Maybe it's just the sense of moving back home, internally. Moving your soul back to the way it was when you were younger and fearless. Trying to look at the world through your younger eyes and hear things with your younger ears. Have more wonder and questions. Be more surprised, shocked, and thrown off guard.
I asked some friends over a year ago (and I think I've mentioned in my articles too) the question, "Are we losing ourselves or finding ourselves?" I thought the answer was both, always, at the same time, forever. I think that's still part of the answer, but I think another part of the answer is that we were born fully who we are supposed to be. What we do with that is up to us and if we let everything and everyone around us have a say in the process.
Morgan Forster on April 12, 2021:
I love this. I absolutely have spent a lot of time feeling a little bad that I moved back home. In addition, the feeling of I should be doing that or I should have tried harder at this has taken away from the true joy and peace I have found in what I’m actually doing and how I’m living.