Can God Handle My Compulsive Disorder?

Updated on May 16, 2020
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Hi, I am Neha. I love documenting all of my experiences. I also love to travel, read, blog and drink iced teas.

Have you ever had a checklist? I was reading ‘The Rosie Project’ a little while ago, and like Don, I had a list of things that I was compulsively mulish about. Don was looking for the perfect life-partner, and he realised that the one who met all the criteria in his checklist wasn’t his perfect match. He fell in love with Rosie, someone who didn’t check off his list. My story isn’t quite like Don’s. This story is about finding my perfect apartment.

I had spent an entire evening scramming through many apartments, swooping through many listings. Eventually, an evening of searching turned into many weeks of searching. I must have swooped through hundreds of them. I had short-listed five apartments that I was going to see during my short stay in London. I was going for a week to look for apartments before I could move there.

This is where I do my research
This is where I do my research

On my first morning in London, as I got ready inside the walls of a hotel in Bethnal Green, I stared at the art. The art felt unsettling. Art always gave me the feeling. Sometimes, I felt the ocean of sadness just dim-down, and sometimes, it made me afraid. I loved visiting museums and galleries. I was moving to London to study ‘Education in Arts & Cultural Settings’.

Anyway, I got ready for my appointment near Canary Wharf. One of the criteria in my checklist was the time taken to reach my college from my apartment shouldn’t be more than 45 minutes. My campus was located in Waterloo, so I needed an apartment that could cover the distance within a limited time period. I was also looking for an apartment that was brand new.

The other apartments failed me like a camouflaged face, covered in a slither of makeup. The apartments didn’t look quite like the picture at all. I had only seen five apartments, and only one had spark, but it didn’t check off my basic checklist. It was not brand new, it was too small, and it was not furnished. For some mystery, I am going to keep the rest of the list a secret.

After five days in London, I realised I had not found what I was really looking for. I came back to India in a pensive state, unsure of what I was really going to do. Have you just gone with the wind and regretted it? I realised that I should have prayed before my journey. I felt like I didn’t achieve my main purpose of visiting London other than having many dimsums in Ping Pong, and roaming on the city streets with old friends, of course.

Finding a brand new, furnished apartment to rent in London that took less than 45 minutes to reach my college, that appeased my other desires, and was within my limited budget was hard to find in a limited span of time. Before I switched to my laptop again, I began to pray, hoping that I would find the right place. Time was running out, and I didn’t have much time to find an apartment before my course began. Finally, I stumbled upon a listing that caught my eye, and it fit just right. Not too long ago, my friend discussed her pain over losing a lot of money because of a scam post online. Shortly, after she wired the money, the post disappeared. My friend wanted to hire a holiday home for a vacation.

I was a bit anxious because neither had I seen the apartment before, nor had I met the broker. I decided to wire the money with my faith in God. Soon, I found myself in London with four bags going straight to my apartment from the airport.

The apartment looked great when I finally got there. It was brand new, untouched and furnished. It took me about 25 minutes from my door to reach my college. I also had other requirements from my apartment, and it ticked off my list.

I thought that my OCD was a problem. I didn’t think that God would understand my OCD behaviour. However, God showed me that he cared about the little details that bothered me. He gave me exactly what I was looking for in my apartment. Even if you are hesitant, lay your stubbornness before the Lord, and he will provide you with a easy way out; either he will help you deal with it, or he will give you exactly what you want.

Pslams 138

“God will perfect that which concerns me”

© 2020 Neha N

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