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The Most-Powerful Appendage in The World

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

Index fingers are perfect for pointing the way.

Index fingers are perfect for pointing the way.

Have You Ever Taken The Time

to look at your fingers? Sure you have. Remember those days when you were an infant? Yes, you were very curious about your body, especially your fingers because (at that age) the fingers were either in your eyes or mouth most of the time. But you loved them because they could do a lot more than your little feet could do. At this point of your life, you only knew of your feet being able to stand for a moment, then your cute little butt would hit the hard floor. As time went by, those two feet of yours were able to kick a smart alec’s butt for getting in to your girlfriend’s property, or kick that winning field goal in high school, college and the NFL.

But hardly any entity, spirit, or life can hold a light to the power of an index finger. Do you hear me? Maybe I should just point at you with my right index finger and you would cease from talking, but listening to me. Do you see now, the unlocked hidden power that lives in (that) index finger and in my left index finger? Powerful, I tell you. Not to be messed with. You have been warned.

There was a time, not so long ago, that I really stumbled onto the power of the index finger of my right hand. It was no ice cream social, but a very serious moment. I was in one of the check-out lines in a grocery store when one of the customers behind me took it on himself to start barking at how slow that (I) was in helping the cashier check my items. Barking, barking, just like a hound dog in Tennessee who had just chased a male raccoon up a tree. That was until . . .without thinking, I raised up my right hand with the index finger sticking-out and suddenly, without warning, the “Barking Man,” shut-out and trembled, what looked like, was fear and respect. Then he mumbled a few choice phrases and I smiled, took my groceries and walked away.

That was the very first time that I discovered “that” hidden power of my right hand appendage and from that moment on, I lived in anticipation about how life would be in the days ahead about my new power should be used. The easy answer would be, a power that should be honored when and if I were to make a speech about politics or maybe the current shape of our nation’s economy, and I have to be honest, this decision was one for the history books. It was a tough one for sure. But as time went by, “this” Power of The Appendage began going toward using that finger for good and the aid to those who could not help themselves, so it was. The Power of The Appendage was born.

An index finger can help to make a point.

An index finger can help to make a point.

During my Teen Years

with each good act that my right hand index finger would do, those around me who did not understand me the power that my finger held, began to scoff, laugh at me, and humiliated me. So with a good measure of wisdom, I began wearing gloves year around to hide the identity of that right hand appendage just so I would not be the lightning rod to suffer such indignation.

And during those years ahead, the more studying (about my appendage) I did. And boy, was I a happy man. An old saying says, “blessed is he who finds wisdom,” and I could not argue with that deep thinking, because it came directly from the King James Version of The Bible. Nd no fool (like me) would lower himself as to scoff at God’s Word.

So with patient study, I found out that there were a whole lot of things that a right hand index finger could do, so below you will find the factual-study and when you read them, you might be tempted to look with dismay or maybe sheer doubt in such facts, but they are, after all, facts. So read slowly if you must, but keep what you read for when you find yourself using your right-hand index finger for good or evil (if you have not received the training that I did), you will recall that you read it here . . .

"Now you look," yells any angry person who is disagreeing with someone else."

"Now you look," yells any angry person who is disagreeing with someone else."

The All-Powerful Appendage Can . .

  • use that finger to scrape-away any flake of dust or sand particle into your eye. The finger is so flexible that it would marvel that of any scalpel that is used today in most hospital operating rooms.
  • Can make itself solid enough to get the attention of a very pretty girl you spot in a big crowd.
  • Can make itself solid enough to use in getting the attention of a gang of your buddies who know that when they see (that) one-finger appendage that you are going to go out with the pretty girl who you have just pointed at.
  • (forgive me) both your left or right-hand finger’s index finger can literally “check” what is inside of your nose when you feel your sinus cavities begin to itch. I think that I skated by this one without using one suggestive phrase or word.
  • A man’s index finger placed on the top of the head of a pretty girl who is into dancing, will twirl around and around. Of course, you give her a wink after the twirls.
  • (forgive me) the index finger (used correctly) can help with firing a handgun into a target a few hundred yards away.
  • An index finger can be responsible for helping pages of a book when a person reads it. Note: most people will agree that pages of books are turned better when index fingers are moist by being licked.
  • Index fingers can be used to check to see if a soup is hot enough to eat. Note: be careful. Many non-thinking people have tried to substitute their index finger to check soup, and have to go to the doctor for serious burns.
  • Index fingers can quickly place (a) postage stamp on an envelope.
  • The index finger can used for tickling the sides of a pretty girlfriend or wife. I do mean “your” wife or girlfriend, not the wife or girlfriend of someone else. I do not want to see you get decked.
  • Medical fact: when certain foods, a kernel of popcorn, gets stuck in the roof of your mouth, an index finger can easily free it and you can go about your business. There is no way that all of someone’s hand is needed to complete this mission.
  • By using both index fingers and a trip to the local music store, a man or woman can practice drumming if the store owner says it is okay. Who needs drumsticks anyway?
  • Moe Howard, Curly Howard and Larry Fine, The Three Stooges, made a great living sticking their fingers into the eyes of the other two. But, did you see that they mostly used their index fingers in each gag?
Anyone for drumming lessons?

Anyone for drumming lessons?

Even More Index Finger Usages:

  • (forgive me again) . . .but when you are relaxing and about to sip a good cold soda (out of the bottle) and then you notice that a fly has fell into your soda, the only tool that you need to remove the fly is either your left or right index finger. No way that a thumb and the rest of the hands will work. Now do you see just how powerful (and useful) that an index finger can be?
  • An index finger is just the thing to check the water in the pool (where you are vacationing) to see how cool it is.
  • By using both the left and right index fingers placed in both ears, the very loud Fourth of July explosion will not be as loud.
  • In closing, sorry. When bored, you can only twiddle the two thumbs, not the two index fingers.

May 8, 2020_______________________________________________________


© 2020 Kenneth Avery

Comments

Leroy Klauser Lee on May 08, 2020:

Well-written.