The Monsters Within
Monsters are real, ghost are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.— Stephen King
When we were lads, we believed that monsters are hideous and evil in form. They are big and can devour someone alive. And they usually hide under our beds or hide inside our closets. We always hear different kind of stories about these monsters, that every time someone says the word “monster” we easily gets terrified. But as we grew up and become mature enough, we discover that those monsters are not the kind of monster we knew as a child. They are different from those bedtime horror stories. They are not hiding under our beds or inside our closets because those monsters that we know now - are hiding inside us.
Does it mean that each and every one of us is a monster? No! Not really. The monsters I am talking about are the kind of monsters that dwell in our hearts and in our minds for a long time and just waiting for an outside force to wake them up. These kinds of monsters may not have their physical form but they can be scary and vile, for they feed on our fears and our weaknesses.
In this century where the standard of everything depends on society, it’s really hard to determine where you belong. It is a sad fact that no matter how much we state and acknowledges our differences we always feel the pressure and precepts of society; to be beautiful, smart, affluent, and to be someone else we're not. And because of this, we create our own pitfalls. These pitfalls are monsters; monsters that dominated a lot of people and will continue to dominate even in the generations to come.
But how do we stop these monsters from stealing our identity? First, one must know the monsters they have created. The following are the most common types of monsters that we have inside us.
Guilt is the worst demon to bear, strangling you from the inside of your body. Apologize. Make amends. Let go. Breathe free.— Nikita Gill
Guilt is a monster that destroys the way we think and acts. When a person is guilty of doing something that person becomes vulnerable to threats or blackmails. He or she becomes cranky in things related to his/her guilt. It will always hunt you, especially at night when you go to bed. This may lead to depression that may lead to being suicidal when deferred in a long time.
In order to get rid of guilt, know what or who the subject of your guilt is. In that way, you will be able to learn how it started. If there is a need to apologize, then apologize for whatever you’ve done wrong. When you apologize, make sure you’re sincere enough to ask for forgiveness, if the other party doesn’t response mutually at least you have done your part. Lastly, forgive yourself for what you have done wrong. Everyone makes mistake in life.
Life is supposed to be difficult because it’s what enables us to grow. And we grow in order to give out.
There are no regrets in life. Just lessons.— Jennifer Aniston
Regrets are our “What if’s?” This kind of monster destroys our ability to be futuristic. “What if’s” scenarios create fears and hold us back from doing what we want. Usually, regrets are connected to our past. We asked ourselves series of questions like “What if I have done this?” “What if I did not?” And no matter how much we argue that past is past, past will always be part of our present and our future. We tend to understate the impact of our past to our future because we think that it doesn’t matter anymore but it 100% does. That’s why we have regrets!
If time machines existed and could be bought anywhere, I'm pretty sure many would patronize it. Many would use it to go back to their past and change it. But have you ever thought that - maybe just maybe - our past was like that for a reason? And - maybe - that reason could be found in our present life or in our future. If you still don’t have an idea for that reason then make it a habit to be keen observant; not with other peoples’ lives but with your life. Instead of thinking about those regrets or feeling contrite about it, find the reason behind those regrets. Then - maybe - you’ll focus more on what’s ahead than those that already happened. Do not leave your past behind instead make your past the bedrock of your present and your future.
That is why we have history classes, in order for us to learn from the past. Because history will someday repeat itself.
Shame is a soul eating emotion— Carl Jung
Shame is a monster that tears our self-esteem down. This is the fruit of guilt and regret. Sometimes we do certain things that cause shame or out of shame. But others handle it better by forgetting about it while others allow it to dwell inside them longer; the latter is a serious one. If you always think about shame not only will you lock yourself down in isolation but also lock yourself away from people who love you.
And what’s more terrible is that there are some people who do the shaming themselves. The most common type is body shaming in which a person shames one’s body for not achieving the perfect body they wanted to have.
It may take time for one to get rid of shame but whenever possible don’t try to avoid shame instead embrace it. At first, you may think that this idea is stupid (like what I thought first) but you will be surprised that in the long-term it doesn’t affect you anymore.
For what doesn’t kill you make you stronger.
Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.— Demi Lovato
Most of us have this kind of monster inside us. They dwell longer than any other monsters and it’s very hard to rid. It is a fact that we live in a judgmental society and almost all people living on this planet are insatiable; meaning we always want something far greater than what we already have.
Most of us mistake perfection for being beautiful, having curvaceous body, or a million dollar smile. That is why some prefer to undergo a lot of plastic surgeries despite the fact that we always hear these statements; “No one is perfect” “Love yourself!” “Be unique!” Though I am not saying plastic surgery is wrong but I’m not condoning it nor allowing it to perpetuate.
This one is a hard monster to deal with. But, what I did to end my insecurities little by little is that I told myself I was insecure. That I was jealous of other people, and that I was jealous of my own brothers and sisters. I stop lying to myself the moment I realized that those insecurities are devouring me every night. I knew I was a coward for creating and believing in my own lies.
You can also talk God about your insecurities. Though you might feel vulnerable when you do this but it will be worth it. You may think that I am trying to sell my God to you but I am not. If you don’t believe in God, then - maybe just maybe - this could be an opportunity for you to know Him. Before, I was a Christian only by name but not by faith. Now, I am starting to talk to God often - even my doubt, anger, fear, grief, confusion and questions in life - and continue building my relationship with Him. There’s nothing wrong if you try this method, nothing will be lost but I'm really sure that something will be gained.
REMEMBER: Happiness is the byproduct of knowing your worth.
For pride is spiritual cancer; it eats up the very possibility of love, or contentment, or even common sense.— Clive Staples Lewis
Pride is not really a monster, it only becomes one when used wrong. Feeling pride in your achievements is good but putting pride in times adversity is another story. One of the reasons why some relationships get broken, won’t work or won’t last is because of pride. It destroys the relationship rather than making it last longer or stronger.
That is why one must always know when to lower pride (especially in certain situations). This doesn’t make a person weak, this makes a person wise. Keeping pride under control will be a hard thing to do for people who pride themselves on everything (even in the smallest of things) they do but still, this is very important.
If you can’t control your pride, your pride will control you and you will realize how much this will cost you.
You might think that I am quite exaggerating by labeling those things as monsters. But trust me; if you allow those things to dwell within you it will become like one and in the end, you will become one. That is why you must eradicate it before it eradicates you. Yes, everyone undergoes such things at the point of their lives but we must always remember that in order for us to be happy we must let go of those unnecessary feelings that subjugate us. Do it for yourself and for those people who didn’t give up on you.
In the end, every monster differs for every person. So do not think that you only have 5 monsters because no matter how righteous you are, you always have something that you can call “The Monsters Within”.