Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. Her books are available on Amazon. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.
Who Are The Misfits?
On any given evening in the dimmed dwelling of dive bars you could spot them. They prefer to lay low, but that's not always the case.
Among the bar stools and high top tables there are the mighty band of misfits who gather together to share their tales. They are an extraordinary bunch of folks who flock together because they understand each other.
At one time these misfits had a place in the world. Or maybe they never did find their place. Or maybe they never had or wanted a place. But in a dive bar, they are accepted and their place is cemented among their peers.
Misfits consist of a multitude of unique people who all bring their individual knowledge, opinions and wit to the table. They might not always agree, they may bicker, they may be demanding but one thing is for certain - they can teach us all a lesson or two. They appreciate the fact that while they may feel alone in this world, they are never really alone.
Misfits come in all shapes, sizes, colors and ages. There is no certain category in which they fit into. All are welcome to become a misfit, but not all are strong enough to adhere to the lifestyle. Acceptance is crucial. One must accept the fact that a misfit lifestyle is to be admired, not ashamed of. One must support other misfits. They have good and bad days. They might want alone time so let them be. They might want to socialize then so be it. The important factor here is that no matter the mood, they are a band of individuals who support each other. Team work makes the dream work.
Where Is The Land Of The Misfits?
Misfits could converge at any venue of their preference. Whether it be a home, the local library or a bar - the place is where one finds comfort because they need to feel comfortable with their surroundings.
The land where the misfits meet up must be a safe haven. Judging one another is not permitted. Critiquing one's lifestyle is taboo. Trying to control fellow misfits is frowned upon, those type of misfits eventually get shut out. Each individual misfit has their boundaries which is their comfort zone. No one should ever try to cross that line.
The land of the misfits surrounds us no matter where we are. At any given time you could encounter a misfit and it's your choice on how you interact with them. Hopefully you will make the best choice for yourself and for them. As I said, we could all learn a lesson from a misfit so try not to judge and shun them.
Lifestyle Changes Occur When We Least Expect It
Misfits don't feel like they belong. Along their journey of life they could have been misconstrued at one time or another which led them down the misfit path. They could have a flaw that society frowns upon which in turn makes them feel awkward.
Then again a misfit could simply be a person who prefers to fly solo while demonstrating the techniques of their lifestyle. While doing so they seem to attract fellow misfits along the way. Before you know it a crew is formed.
The misfit lifestyle doesn't have to be a lifelong commitment. This could be temporary while getting their life back together. Or possibly their life is together. Either way a misfit is to be admired. Commended for not secluding themselves from society and instead holding their heads high while they soar on to life's next adventure.
Oh if those bar stools could talk; the stories that they could tell. But alas, stools don't speak so we speak for them. I've encountered many misfits over time. Many misfits who I'm proud to call a friend. Then some whom I've encountered and left them in the dust. Misfits have baggage and at times this baggage could be emotionally draining. They could also bring drama to the table. Well, no one wants to deal with drama. At least, I don't.
Types Of Misfits
- The guys who have never been married. They don't have children. They are living the bachelor lifestyle and just can't seem to find the right lady to share their life with.
- The women who also have never been married. No kids. They enjoy socializing.
- Widows. Widowers. They crave interaction among peers and find solace within the confinement of the dive bar.
- Affluent men and women who are generous with their money and show appreciation to their fellow misfits by buying rounds of shots.
- Men and women going through a divorce. Or are already divorced. When they don't have their children they spend their time at the watering hole while escaping reality for a wee bit.
- Then there are those in unstable relationships who want to temporarily drink thoughts of their significant others away.
- Some misfits use alcohol as a form of therapy. While this isn't the best choice for therapeutic assistance, it's their choice and judging isn't permitted.
- Loners. These type of people prefer to be alone the majority of the time but also require human interaction to energize their psyche.
- Retired folks. They no longer have a day job so drinking becomes their new purpose.
- There are also those who are sociably awkward. They lack the expertise to mingle among their peers but once the opportunity arises they begin to blossom. Practice makes perfect!
- Flawed characters. Whether it's due to mega tattoos or a loud obnoxious persona the flawed folks seem to be outcast as misfits. But, once given a chance to express themselves surprisingly they are the most interesting of the bunch.
Lead And I Will Follow
Misfits have their own niche within their niche. Such as some misfits who tend to lead while others prefer to follow. This is no way defines the character of the misfit, it's just the way the pendulum swings.
As I previously stated controlling a fellow misfit is taboo, so leaders must be diligent and allow misfits to make their own choices and decisions. A leader is basically a point of contact and they initiate interaction when the need arises. While those who prefer to follow just do their own thing and when they are available they join in.
A leader also makes a point of spreading the wings of other misfits. As humans we have a tendency to get comfortable in our zones. Many misfits have a tendency to be shy and quiet. A leader nudges fellow misfits to meet and greet other people. Before you know it a small community is formed. The misfits rise and they will fall but along the way they have a support system who has nothing but their best interest at heart.
How Did I Become A Misfit?
At some time in our lives we might have hit a roadblock or veered off the path. It's during these times when the misfit lifestyle possibly began. Or perhaps you were always a misfit because you chose to be. Or perhaps you didn't choose the way of life, you were dealt the cards. Nevertheless you are a unique individual with your tales to tell and I hope one day you share those stories with those who want to hear them.
Misfits finding fellow misfits is a great gift to all. You have a confidant that you could spend time with and no expectations are involved; just camaraderie.
How or why you are a misfit is insignificant once you accept your lifestyle and do your best to feel comfortable with yourself and your surroundings. Do not get stuck in a rut. Do not allow others to judge you. Do not allow others to bully you or control you. Stand up for what you believe in.
You are the most important person in your life. If you aren't happy then it's not possible to be happy among others. Be the best person you can be and wear your misfit badge with pride. If one day you no longer need the badge then so be it, but oh those stories you will have to share.
Why Fit In When You Were Born To Stand Out
— Dr Suess
© 2018 Linda Bilyeu