The Cold Truth About Hotwings
How to Eat Hotwings Like a Lady
Before I Begin
to explain this “love affair” that I have had since June 2002, I need to introduce you to a very dear friend, Chad Clark, Guin, Ala., because he was the one who introduced me to hotwings. Either commend or condemn him for taking me down this sizzling road, but please do not laugh. Not that I am complaining, but there are some who do not appreciate hotwings because they, as these people have said, they are just too hot.
Truth is fine in its place, but I am talking about hotwings.
When anyone who desires to enjoy hotwings must learn to do a few simple things before they can be considered a Wing Expert. And NO, not just any Tom, Dick, or Harry can accomplish this task. The Bible states, “many are called, but few are chosen,” and even by this perfect standard, only a few people can first understand the terms of a hotwing, it’s origin, properties, benefits and even the dangers that accompany the hotwing.
First off, like ribs, the hotwing can also be deceptive. By that I mean, one night the hotwing becomes the form of fire, meaning that it can been chosen to go into the mouths of eager Wing Eaters and they must know, like all amateur Wing Eaters, that not all wing sauce is gentle. Quite the opposite. Do not be deceived by the term, Hot, as it pertains to the degree of heat that is emitted from the wing’s meat. Secondly, the term Wing, can only be thought of as the key part of a chicken, the source of protein, energy, and not substances.
So you see now that just eating a few hotwings does NOT make the amateur wing eater, or as I call them, Wingsters, experts in the field of dining with friends as they consume several pounds of hotwings. Yes, I did say pounds of hotwings, not measured by puny standards of few, one or two, and maybe one more. These terms are only said out of fear when an amateur Wingster finds that ONE very hotwing and it all but fries his tongue. Then instant fear grips them body and soul.
Let’s Talk About The Degree
of “Hot,” and this way, we can learn the dangers and thrills of knowing which hotwing to eat and the ones to steer clear of. In the hotwing arena, there is hot, no question about it. But if a hotwing is just hot, then you can count on the heat to burn your lips, tongue, and throat as the wing meat slides down the throat. Not death-defying, but hot enough to get your attention.
The term “Very Hot,” means just that. Wise men who eat “this” hotwing can handle the heat, but tears come to the eyes and then sweat pops-out on the head of the wing-eater. A wise wing-eater will back-off after a few Very Hotwings, and this way the friends, family, and patrons in this wing joint will not call the Very Hotwing-eater a sissy.
Then we have the terms, “Hades,” “Internal Combustion,” and “Dave’s Insanity,” are considered hotter than most hotwing sauce sold on the open market. But if you are into eating Carolina Repper Hotwing Sauce, you best know what and how to eat wings as hot as these. Here are a few more DANGEROUS hotwing sauces that I am serious when I wrote the warning at the ending of the sauces that I now present: Infinity Chili, Naga Viper, 7 Pod Douglah aka Chocolate 7 Pot, Trinidad Scorpion Butch T, Trinidad Moruga Scorpion and Carolina Reaper. My fellow wing-eaters, these are just 22 of the Hottest Hotwing Sauces in The World. I kid you not. And in all sincerity, allow me to give you this WARNING if you are tempted to eat ANY of these sauces because any or all of these hotwing sauces can cause you to suffer several heath problems.
Personally, I have never tried any of these hottest-of-the-hottest wing sauce because, thanks again, to Chad Clark and our mutual friend, Shane Nowlin, now of Pensacola, Fla., these two taught me to eat what I could handle in the hotwing sauce. I loved the first time that Chad and I had hotwings and he brought a big bottle of Nuclear hotwing sauce that he said would tear me up if I did’t watch out. So my wife, and daughter cooked several pounds of hotwings and told Chad and me to start eating.
Chad went out of the gate swiftly and was eating wings by a ratio of two to one, and one being me, he had poured the Nuclear sauce on my wings and frankly, I was scared. But I dug in and yes, the sauce was hot, but not hot enough to kill people. Actually the taste was better than the heat. Shane and our mutual friend, Jamie, who were invited, had to attend a prior engagement. I was so glad that Pam, our daughter, Angie, and our good friend, Chad, helped to initiate me into the World of Hotwings.
But Those Days Are Over
in 2019 and the only time that I get hotwings is when Pam bakes them in our home, because of my heart problem, I can only have baked poultry, not fried of run the risk of having a massive heart attack. Chad is now the general manager of a brand-name motel in Winfield, Ala., and he is now married to a lovely girl, Lisa, and they have two wonderful children. Chad and I talk frequently, but as in life, we have long accepted that things, even the good, lasting things, can never be the same.
Truly, we never thought at the time we were “Winging,” that we would be in these separate areas, but now, Pam, my wife and I live as best we can with God’s help, and we miss our daughter, Angie, so much, but we know that she is doing well in Heaven. Her three grandchildren are near-grown with our oldest granddaughter, Alexis, who has now graduated high school and working at a store in some town in Mississippi. Annabeth and Gabriel, our youngest and middle grandchild respectively, lack only four years before they graduate high school.
And they both have shared us with what their plans are after graduation. Gabriel wants to join the Marines and Annabeth wants to go to Harvard Medical School and own a black Jeep with four on the floor.
Only God and time know for sure.
July 26, 2019________________________________________________________
Just Sharing That
hot wing recipes are not a tricky circus act, but they can be very easy to produce and what is more-efficient is that if you are throwing a Super Bowl Party or a College Championship Game get-together with 10 or more people, you can prepare one hot wing recipe that is sure to please all of your guests. This recipe (below) is not that hot, but tastes delicious and even the most-discerning wing-eater can have a great time.
Simply take two or three bottles of Frank’s Red Hot Wing Sauce, and this is the one to buy in making your wing recipe. Mix in two tablespoons of Louisiana Tobasco Sauce and take a stalk of fresh celery and mix it in your mixture and mix it in with your base wing sauce. Let it chill at least three to four hours before game time and when you bake or fry your wings, you may bathe them with this sauce, and I know. I have eaten this recipe many times and it never gets old.
© 2019 Kenneth Avery