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The Butterfly Effect: My Theory in Regards to Love

Missy is a unique writer who enjoys inviting her readers into her thoughts through her poetry and other topics of discussion.  


Has The Butterfly Effect Played A Part In My Love Life...

While writing this poem, as I often do, I think about what subject I feel will relate to it. I’ve written many poems of love. They are poems, that for some who have read my poetry, may think all coincide together -- similar themes, with a related dialogue. I always talk about being a jilted lover. And it’s true, this is my life -- I have been and continue to be playing this part.

For unexplained reasons, my fate has been the tainted one in relationships. Nevertheless, my relentless attitude of keeping hope always sends me back to try again for the perfect mate who will accept me for exactly who I am, which is stellar to hear those fools tell it, and is just more frustrating for me to live with if that is the truth?

At 44 years old, I can’t seem to fathom what has been the obstacle that leads the man to leave. I have concluded that they just get bored. Most of my relationships have been quite long -- eight years being the longest. Then I thought, perhaps it was something uncontrollable in the universe? Maybe it’s something even the ratchet men who left me are not at all aware of. I mean, after all, they never have a solid reason for letting me go. Maybe it is some sort of butterfly effect?

I started researching the butterfly effect. I already knew it was thought to be a chaotic turn of events by some opinions. However, as I have mentioned in several of my hubs, I analyze everything -- not to the point of bothering everyone with my views daily, but writing them down like I’m doing now. Putting my thoughts out there to seek others' reactions and opinions on my theories if they so choose to do so. I look at my writing as a creative process - my own self-help therapy.

Observing the meaning of the butterfly effect, the most common definition of the term I found was, that it is a metaphoric term. However, in theory, it means something small in statures like a bird or a butterfly could flap its wings and make a great event happen in another part of the world. For example, a theory would be, if a butterfly flapped its wings at just the right atmospheric time, it could make a hurricane or tsunami happen in China. This seems absurd, impossible really to most of us, but could this be true? Is it pure physics, or is it a psychological way of thinking? I have no idea. I am no expert on anything physical or psychological. Nevertheless, I thought, if the butterfly effect exists, it could take place during not only weather conditions but the emotional outcomes of we humans. I thought maybe this effect took place during that first relationship I had. Possibly a small event erupted into a big happening and occurred at the exact moment my mate at that time was breaking up with me. Therefore, handing me my bad luck at love.

Furthermore, I thought for all the sense one would think the butterfly effect makes, it wouldn’t be inconceivable to see it in the matter of human condition as well.

After my first long relationship ended, it was almost the exact same time frame of seven years that the second one ended. I believe the second relationship was eight years, but if I’m honest, I could have over calculated. At times, I think about that part of my past, and I only seem to count seven. It would all make sense within my theory even if my count is wrong. The second relationship ended at almost the same amount of years and like my first one, it ended in an unplanned instant, just final, no discussion about it. They were done, and I was leaving.

The love I talk about in this poem and many others through this year I have written is a bit different, but could also be relatable to my butterfly effect theory. This relationship I have been struggling to make work for about a year and a half now will be going well, and later suddenly when I’m the happiest I can be and feeling secure in the relationship, this is when he decides to end it abruptly. He then blocks me from any form of communication that I could contact him with. I’m left with no answers as to why. After about a month, he makes his way back. And because of my love for him, I try again, at his request; no questions asked.

Although this relationship is different than the others, it still has similar realms to it. His abrupt departures, and as of now, I have counted he has done this a total of seven times. This seventh time feels different though, it finally feels like we are at that finish line. I mean I can’t know for sure until a month or so goes by, but if it is, it would make sense with my theory. Familiar points would be; the no-good explanation as to why it's ending, and the reappearing number of 7 playing its part in the logic of my theory.

My poem is a simple poem about this last love relationship I mention. However, I always think. And I also contemplate other possibilities of why my life has gone the way it has. I think about this in other forms like psychological thinking or even the physics of how a moment in time could have put fate in my future. It may be illogical thinking, but I like to think this way. It keeps me from becoming bored.

I posted an article I found after I wrote this hub that is so very interesting. It gave me even more reasons to believe that the butterfly effect could affect more things than just weather. Please take a look at it.


An Article I Found Right After Writing This Hub.

Any Opinions...


The Finale

The day is gone.

I sit alone,

thinking about


I’m trying to

regress back to

the best me

without you.

I feel attacked,

I can’t relax. My

heart wants

us back.

But I’m now

alone. I'm letting

go of your choice

to reject.

I can’t explain my

confused state, I’m

uneasy, and I’m


Yet, I feel no fight

left in me; I'm tired

of struggling for

this love.

Please, don’t return

this time, I’ll only

give you what you


Then inevitably you

will leave me again

sifting through the

whys of your no want.

If there’s been anything

I’ve hoped to gain

from a love special to

only one…

it would be that I

finally found the

strength I needed

to be me and live on.

© 2016 Missy Smith


Missy Smith (author) from Florida on February 06, 2016:

I'm glad you liked it, Deb. Thank you!

Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on February 05, 2016:

I really liked this one, and you have come up with such sage advice at the finale...

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on February 04, 2016:

I appreciate that comment, Frank. You know, for me, I just don't think I could write from any other perspective other than my soul's perspective. :)

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on February 03, 2016:

you write from your soul.... and it is so apparent Missy.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on February 02, 2016:

Lovely words to read today, Gypsy! Thank You! :)

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on February 02, 2016:

Most fascinating, inspirational and though provoking. Well done!

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on February 01, 2016:

Hey Manatita, and thanks again for once again stopping by to give me your wonderful insight on my poetry.

You are right; I believe I do write from different perspectives of my life. I believe I have to as I have felt many things and been challenged many times. Life is a continuing lesson we keep having to attempt to learn and figure out. Not everyone's is the same lesson, but I too believe that some are similar to mine, and that's what I hope for when I write my life stories here. I hope that if someone out there has had a struggle like mine, or is coping with life in the same way I have, that they read my hubs and realize they are not alone in this big old world.

You are very generous with your compliments, Manatita, and I am extremely grateful for that. :)

manatita44 from london on February 01, 2016:

I told you before, Missy. Sometimes you write like everything comes directly from insight; from God; sometimes you write like it's a huge struggle. Not this time, tough. You seem ok, but you're still trying to work it out.

Sometimes things happen for God's own reasons. We don't know why, nor do we need to ask. Your last stanza of the poem is very heartening. Once the confidence or strength comes, we move on.

Sometimes, things aren't really personal, and you will be surprised by how many share your story or similar ones. Life's like that, not necessarily because it wants to be a bitch, but because it wishes to help us to grow.

You're doing a beautiful job for your children. Feed yourself the same beauty; the same Love. Take from nature; from the Divine; from great company ...

Your work is excellent, and your poems are works of art. Hari Om!

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 30, 2016:

Thank you, John. I must have needed to get it all out of my system. I sure wouldn't have written that on Facebook though. Lol. I feel safe amongst friends here. :)

I was surprised I had written so much though. I'm glad I just typed away without breaking things down in better paragraphs. Whew! That would have been a book!

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on January 30, 2016:

It's all good Missy. I am honoured that you feel confident in sharing your emotions and personal life with me. I have broad shoulders :) It kind of makes me mad to hear how that last guy treated you out of the blue. Good riddance I'd say. Thanks for your lovely comments about my eBook. It is sad when a big ancient tree like your oak has to come down, but you have to look after you and your family's safety. Take care and talk soon.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 30, 2016:

Goodness! what a long comment I wrote back! Sorry John!!! lol...

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 30, 2016:

Ah, yes, the seven-year itch! That would be the most obvious reason I suppose. :) Even MizBejabber's Karma effect would probably make more sense. I think I could have written a discussion piece on both of those, but for some reason, I thought about the butterfly effect theory. As silly as it sounds, I think it was because I like the theory of a butterfly, being fragile as it is, making something big happen.

Of course, I read "I Laughed a Smile" and for some reason, it did not come to me that the smile was indeed that butterfly. Although, I like your smile effect better considering I felt your smile brought a peace and calmness instead of a major disturbance. I love your poems! And I'm glad you mentioned, "I Laughed a Smile" it made me want to go pull up the e-book and read a few I had already read, but remembered fondly. I read "My Friend the Oak" because when I initially read this my own friend the oak was still standing so extremely tall by our back steps. However, as of last month, it stands no more. Honestly, I am not kidding you when I tell you that my son and I both cried when it came down. You see, the old tree had gotten so big that the huge roots had grown and buried themselves under our house, and the tree itself had four separate trunks; they were extremely big and grew very tall. It was an aged tree that I used to love to watch the birds and squirrels play in, but, unfortunately, a lot of the tree was dying, and with the danger Florida has with trees falling in storms, it was just too big of a risk to keep our old friend. If it were to have fallen, it would've no doubt fell on me and my children as we lived in the section of the house it towered over. I'm still sad thinking about it. I also enjoyed going back and reading "My Garden of Delight" your descriptions of the flowers in that piece were lovely, and I like the two at the end the very best; the lonely ruby red rose, and the pretty poet's jasmine.

Yes, it does seem my bad luck in love is still carrying on its tradition of leaving me with no answers as to why? I'm glad I've learned not to let things about my life get to me. I used to realize that people would see this happening to me and make their opinions on why I was being abandoned. lol... They do, I am so sure. However, the truth is, I'm telling the truth, I do nothing to push them away, if anything I do everything right. This last time, when the latest fellow whom I discussed came back, I was a little weary of opening myself up to him again, so I just went slow with it to see how he would act. I was happy this time. He seemed honestly sincere with everything he said to me. We actually had conversations about what each other liked as far as hobbies, movies, sports, and just things such as this; such very good conversations. It felt like we had finally found the correct way back to each other. We actually had a lot of likes in common, and he would tell me how proud he felt when he read my poetry. I can't tell you how happy I was. It felt so different this time, I just knew it would last at least longer than a few months before he got the urge to leave. This past week he contacted me, and our conversation was very good still, and then with no warning, and I'm not kidding on this either, he told me to go f**k myself and not talk to him again. Within not even two minutes, he blocked me from all forms of communication with him. If I'm honest, I was hurt, I was really disappointed, because I felt this time was so different, but I wasn't surprised by the way he left. It was the way he left every time, except usually, he had picked a fight and he gave me ample time to defend myself before abruptly shutting me down. This time he used the shock factor. lol... It is what it is, and you can only love someone as much as they let you, right?

Well, John, I am always so glad when you stop by and comment on my writing. Yes, I know you get me, and I'm happy I have found a great friend in you. You are also one of those favorites of mine that I mentioned to Bill. Hey, but you knew that I'm sure! lol...I don't hide my feeling or opinions well anymore. I used to be good at hiding those things, but I guess I've gotten tired of putting a cap on my bottle of emotions. :)

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on January 29, 2016:

I am a bit late reading this Missy, sorry. I really do "get you" my friend, and I can understand your frustration at nbot knowing why these men left you with no explanation after almost the same amount of time. There is a theory called the "seven year" itch. Supposedly men get itchy feet after being in a relationship for seven years and seek a change. I personally know of a few relationships that ended after that period of time, but it may be just coincidence. there was even an old movie called "the Seven Year Itch". I think Jack Lemon was in it.

As for the "Butterfly Effect"..well I think there could be something in that. You have read my poem "I Laughed a Smile" which is more or less based on the theory. It sounds like your present relationship may be going the same way unfortunately, but I wish you the best outcome. Your heart-felt poetry is brilliant as always. Hugs.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 29, 2016:

You are so right, Paula. We must appreciate our work, and for the most part, I think I believe my work is pretty good. I do have some things that I'm not perfectly pleased about. It could be with the flow, or some minor little errors I catch after I've published something in which I spit about having to go back and correct. lol... However, it's petty things, and in an odd way, I appreciate my mess ups as well as the things I write that I feel are good. I'm one of those extremely humble people who will try to find a positive perspective on anything even if it is something most would just break down and go ballistic over. What can I say?

You do make me feel better with all the encouragement you give out. I will say I did feel a bit sad about your parents and sibling. But, here I go with positive perspective again, and I think that we all have to go through loved ones passing away, and we should just band together with the others that are still here with us and that way those bonds get stronger through the loss of the others. Does that sound bad? I hope not, because I have lost a few really close family members in my time. It is hard for sure, but what can we do but keep living.

Thanks for stopping by again, Paula. I love hearing your 2 cents. :)

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 29, 2016:

I think you are so right on that MizBejabbers. I do think we are a breed of our own. That's why I asked Bill not to take what I say as an insult to my family. I certainly do not blame them, just probably wish they would be more excited to hear some of my poems and things I've written.

Oh, and I caught an error I made in the first comment I made to you. I said that if he doesn't return in a month or so, I will not believe in the theory. However, I should have said, if he does return in a month or so, it will ruin the theory for me, as that means he will be over the number 7 mark on coming back. I don't what it is, if I spot an error, I have to correct it. Forgive my silly ways! :)

God Bless You, MizBejabbers! Thanks so much for your support!

Suzie from Carson City on January 29, 2016:

OK.....I may as well throw my 2 cents in too.....BTW, Miz B...you are one of my HUB IDOLS. Seriously.

Let me make you all feel better (I think) The 3 people who would have really appreciated my work & compliment me constantly, are no longer here. My Mom, Dad & only sibling have all passed. I'm the lone survivor of my birth family & I miss them every day of my life. My Dad, especially, since he himself was a fabulous writer~~also wrote music since he was a musician.

My sons always make a big deal about my writing when & if they see it, but....well, what the heck else are they gonna do? I'm their mother. At 48,46,36 & 34...I strongly doubt they feel I still have the power to ground them!

You know what ladies? It's really important that WE appreciate our work and feel that it's GOOD. OK, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't. It's always a bonus to hear from others, especially peers.

The thing is, I'm always true to myself. I say only what I sincerely mean and mean what I say. So, if I give out KUDOS, IMO, you deserve it!!........Love ya, Paula

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on January 29, 2016:

Missy, I just read your comment to Bill, and I must say that there are many of us who don't have a family support system, especially when it comes to our writing. Even my husband, who took such good care of me while I was recuperating from surgery, just gives me a blank look when I try to read something I've written, and God knows, he isn't going to read it for himself. I think we writers are a breed of our own, and we have to look to each other for the support and encouragement we need. It's sad, but true.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 29, 2016:

You are a very inspirational person, Bill. All of you that are so generous to visit and comment on my work are special to me. It really does mean a lot.

I will also say that I do have a few favorites here. Not because I don't appreciate every single comment I get, but just because I can almost feel some get me more than others, and really do get the messages I try to put across with my writing. You are one of those favorites. :)

I really don't know how to express my appreciation for all the encouragement I receive here. I don't want to put my family down, so please don't take what I'm about to say as an insult to them. However, if I'm honest, I've never found a support system in them. I've tried to read to them some of my work, but they always seem to go blank face with no words after I'm finished. I believe the only one they really cared about and stood at attention to hear was the one about my friend Jack, and that's probably because he is not only a friend to me, but a friend to the whole family. It's the only one they brag about, and it's not even one I put a lot of thought in to. My friend Jack casually made a comment one time that I should write a poem about him; he didn't actually think I would; he's one of those jokester types, so I thought I would just surprise the heck out of him. lol

My point is that I honestly feel so blessed to have finally found others that take the time to read my writing and give me great comments. It really boosts my ego; not in a bad way, but in an encouraging manner. Thanks again to you and the others! :)

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 29, 2016:

Paula is my sister by another mother :) so I agree with every single thing she wrote. No sense in me repeating it, is there? :) You are strong...and if you love yourself, you will find your way to the end of this trial, one way or another. I'm betting on you making it.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 29, 2016:

Yes, she is a lovely person, as are you, MizBejabbers. I sincerely love getting comments from both of you. I really feel blessed to have met some lovely people here as both of you are definitely that.

The "Karma effect" is an interesting suggestion of what it could be. You just may be right about that, as, I, myself, am still trying to decide if the "Butterfly effect" is for real or only a suggestion from the scientific world about why things may occur at a specific time. I think that's why I find all aspects of a theory interesting. I love to go further into my own brain and my particular thoughts of how I perceive theories and such. However, like I said in my hub, if he doesn't return as usual in a month or two, it's probably going to blow my belief in the theory out the window. lol... It's all for fun and contributes in keeping my brain's wheels a turning. :)

Thanks so much for reading my hub and having a great conversation, MizBejabbers. I always love to read your comments.

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on January 29, 2016:

Missy, Paula really is a beautiful person, isn't she. Now back to you and your winsome poem. I have to say that I don't believe in the butterfly effect, but I do believe in Karma. It may be the "Karma effect". At the end of this era many advanced people find that Karmic debts must be paid off quickly, and the information being channeled to us indicates that couples get together, and when the debt is paid, they move on. Now if you find that ridiculous, I'm not going to go into the metaphysical reason I was given for being dumped in a relationship after a man pursued me for four years before I agreed to go with him. It just too stupid.

Or maybe it's because you are destined to write beautiful poetry about it. Either way, your poetry is always beautiful.

Missy Smith (author) from Florida on January 29, 2016:

Wow! Thanks for the amazing compliments, Paula! I felt tears in my eyes while reading your comment. It really means so much that you liked this hub. I always have a worry inside that no one will get me, but you so obviously get me. Maybe even more than I get myself. Thanks again! :)

Suzie from Carson City on January 29, 2016:

OMG, girl....This one has blown me away. You ARE a Poet in every sense of the word. A color photo of your heart is all that's missing........

Wow. Your intro is so very interesting~DEEP & interesting. I remember the "movie" well because it was only at that moment I realized that Ashton Kutcher was truly a superb actor.

I'm intrigued but uncommonly puzzled by your "struggle," Missy. I normally would have some helpful advice or at least a word or two of wisdom.....but honestly? I don't~nor do I think it's necessary.

I get an incredible vibe of strength & resolve from you that maybe you aren't even aware of yourself. I just know somehow that you are going to be just fine, no matter what. Peace, Paula

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