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The All-American Gum-Chewing Waitress Cover-up Controversy

Kenneth is a rural citizen of Hamilton, Ala., and has begun to observe life and certain things and people helping him to write about them.

This video/song is very relevant.

There is Nothing new

about this piece, with the exception of the waitresses that I have told you about, but with a noticeable difference: all of these waitresses that I have ever met chewed gum. And not your usual way that humans chew gum, slowly and methodical. These waitresses chewed their gum as they took orders and they chewed with a distinct mathematical precision that only I discovered. I am sharing this episode with you right now, because at the time, when I first knew about the waitress cover-up controversy, I knew that the citizens (back then) were too conservative to latch on what I was talking about.

I want to assure you that this hub in no way is to cast dispersion's against any waitress then and now. Waitresses are vital to the American Service Industry. Let me pose a question to you: what would the diners and restaurants be without waitresses? I can answer that in a word: chaos. Think about that. I get shudders to even have thoughts of eateries trying to serve its patrons without waitresses.

I also want to assure you that when I was alone or with my wife and daughter, we enjoyed ourselves immensely when we would visit our wonderful American diners. I can tell you that we have met so many professional, hard-working waitresses that I would be hard-pressed to make a complete list of these special gals who are such a valuable piece to the success of our diners. I should be saving money in order to buy these girls a dozen red roses as a way to show them that I appreciate them.

WiKiMedia Common /Seattle Municipal Archives Waitress taking order at Pkes Place Market Seattle.

WiKiMedia Common /Seattle Municipal Archives Waitress taking order at Pkes Place Market Seattle.

Now for The Cover-up

that took me a long time to think over. It took months. That is why I thought this hub and its contents through before I even dared to put my thoughts into words because I do not want to offend any waitress or diner because America cannot survive without either. I may be plain, but truthful.

I remember almost every family vacation that my wife, daughter, and myself took and this vacation was something that we looked forward to all winter because we knew that vacations meant getting away from work, bills, and other responsibilities. Then on one particular family vacation, we decided to go off the beaten trail and have lunch at one of the small diners that used to dot most all the states in America.

What a wonderful decision we made when we found the first small diner because we were serviced by a wonderful waitress named “Barb,” (wouldn’t you know it) and she was not only cordial, but knew her menu like the back of her hand. And during the few minutes that she was taking our order, her gums were moving in such a pleasing rhythm as she worked an chewed gum at the same time, I thought that this touch, the chewing gum, made her waitress wardrobe complete.

I think that in a few years, we visited this same diner that we had hoped that “Barb” would still be there, but the manager gave us the sad news about her leaving this job for one of those chain restaurants that was popping-up all across the land. And needless to say, “Barb’s” replacement might have been as good as “Barb,” and with her chewing gum (like “Barb”) it wasn’t like “Barb” was serving us.

Get Ready to Learn Something

that you have already seen if you frequented a small diner because I can tell you that the waitresses that I was blessed to know, all of these waitresses chewed gum as if it were a part of their employment—to top it off, these girls not only chewed their gum, but chewed it like it was living art. A ballet of chewing gum all knowing which teeth to use and what teeth not to use. I can tell you that watching these waitresses work and chew gum at the same time was unlike anything that I had ever seen.

I would like for you to believe that when my family and I ate in a different diner or restaurant, the waitress would smile, come to our table, chew her gum and take our order. Frankly, it was the newspaper-ink that was in my blood because this, the waitress being able to chew her gum without missing a beat—and even transporting our orders from the kitchen to our table, she walked and delivered our food and still chewed her gum. I was beginning to be concerned. Could be this was something afoot that stood for a lot more than just a sharp-thinking waitress able to take orders and chew gum at the same time.

The thoughts of asking whatever waitress we just happened to be in, if she had ever given thought to joining Barnum-Bailey Circus because these promoters have always had a lot of hometown talent on display for their tours—and a chewing-gum waitress would have fit right in. You should have seen these waitresses work. Fast, efficient and friendly and I did think (judging from the waitress’ red eyes) that she had worked “doubles” which was two shifts worked back-to-back, but even with the chewing gum controversy, these gals were tough as steel.

This  waitress is a pro. She can juggle these dishes even while chewing gum.

This waitress is a pro. She can juggle these dishes even while chewing gum.

So What Could be Happening

with every waitress in whatever diner we visited chewing gum wide-open and keeping her orders filled. I wish that I knew. But the nation’s most-intelligent power: the C.I.A., would have a tough time figuring-out what was going on with waitresses and their chewing gum. I thought then, as I do now, something was definitely going on.

Maybe, and this is just a thought, the C.I.A. was at the core of this mysterious gum-chewing and maybe this was just a way for waitresses to chew gum in various jaw action, to convey whatever information that they managed to find to help the C.I.A.’s agents who allegedly were digging for something? But waitresses chewing gum?

Do not ask me what flavor of chewing gum that the waitresses chewed. I was never that brave to just ask what flavor of gum that she liked to chew for I was afraid that the waitress might lose her fiery temper and slug me in front of my wife and daughter and at that time, I figured that the risk was simply not worth the trouble.

Could this actually be a mass controversy designed by other, more-powerful agencies and what if the controversy is not of our world? It is very possible thanks to Roswell. Remember this locale, which was the”grandmother of all controversies?”

I am left with only one thought: “The Chewing Gum is Out There.”

May 10, 2019______________________________________________

Waitress taking an order at Kahala  Hilton Hotel, Hawaii, USA.

Waitress taking an order at Kahala Hilton Hotel, Hawaii, USA.

© 2019 Kenneth Avery

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