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That Creepy Feeling of Being Watched While Taking Shower


Val is a life-long student of unexplored human potential and many challenges that self-honesty throws at us on that path.


Nothing Pathological -- but still Odd

Due to my quite inquisitive, though modest studious attempts to understand human nature, at times that intellectual adventurism makes me intrigued by the multitude of examples where our minds play tricks on us.

And I am not even talking about that "schizo-stuff" like hallucinations or hearing voices from heaven, but something much less pathological -- if at all -- like having that creepy feeling of being watched while taking shower.

Thoughts like that popped up this morning as I remembered a passing acquaintance who, at a party, blurted out after having a few drinks how he always felt a presence of someone while he was taking his showers.

Topic of the conversation had been about spooky movies, so he shared his personal, albeit painless version of the shower scene in Hitchcock's thriller "Psycho".

Except for appearing half-wasted by drinks he had, the dude didn't otherwise make an impression of a paranoiac haunted by visions of some scary movies. Thus, I didn't jump the gun then, and nor am I doing it now, as to characterize it as more than an innocent oddity that most of us display in one way or another due to our subconscious mind playing tricks on us.

And yet, the incident tickled my curiosity, while it seemed to be pointing at a widespread weak sense of our individuality, with all kind of socially instilled authorities lurking from every corner of our minds and spoiling the fun of taking shower.

Or, is it the fun of enjoying life.


Feeling of Being an "Open Book" to Others

After brainstorming on the subject for a while, a conclusion followed fragmented over few possibilities, while all of them had a common denominator spelled out as outer authority

What first came to mind was the notion about many sensitive folks living under a constant impression that they are like an open book to everyone around, not really able to keep on a mask that felt like a good disguise.

With such people it may even lead to a mild subclinical paranoia, while they may be among those loudest ones questioning the government's violating their privacy.

As for me, I couldn't care less who is spying on my phone, my email, or on my person "via the laptop camera, TV screen, or satellite watching my every move". I don't treat my privacy as some classified information thing, and there is hardly something that in one or another scenario I would hesitate to reveal about myself.

However, as these folks are taking shower, the nakedness of their body somehow unconsciously translates to transparency of everything they are so unsuccessfully trying to hide about themselves from the public eye.

You may not be ready to believe it, but their clothes have this unconscious role of also protecting their privacy.

Let me give you an apparently unrelated example of how clothes mean a different thing within different social norms.

Let;s say you, a woman, participate in a pool party, and at one point you decided you had enough of water, so you go to the house, take a shower, and sit inside. And while crossing your legs, your robe opens, now exposing your thigh to the eyes of that man sitting nearby.

What do you do? You automatically pull your robe over your thigh, because by not doing that, you would be sending some seducing signals to that man -- that according to the social norms.

But wait! Only some moments ago he saw the full size of your legs out there at the pool -- so why hide it now?

Yes, because in different social scenarios cloths mean a different thing.

But to those under shower being with no clothes always means being exposed, and their unconscious mind is not making a distinction between being naked in privacy of bathroom and being naked in public -- even though they consciously know the difference.


Those Wicked, Sinful Thoughts!

Then, another possibility, within the same theme, came rushing to my mind. Namely, it's quite a common personality trait that people have a pronounced voice of a parental figure instilled in their personality makeup since back there in childhood.

That sub-academic study called Transactional Analysis particularly talks in some lengths about so called Critical Parent as a subconscious program constantly overlooking -- and criticizing -- whatever the inner child is thinking, feeling, and doing.

Even stripping away any fancy interpretations, we all know so many of those who are displaying rules, principles, norms, often to the point where they make us ask ourselves if there is anything like fun in their life.

Those folks just can't shake those critical eyes off themselves, and that presents quite an issue under a shower.

We don't have to be particularly familiar with Sigmund Freud's theorizing about the paramount role of sexuality in our emotional dynamics, to assume how many of those sourpusses torment themselves under shower for those wicked thoughts welling up. Especially over how much time they are spending washing their privates and enjoying it too much".

Indeed, they could be completely ruining those precious moments of relaxing under shower, with those droplets breaking over their skin and producing those negative ions, so beneficial for the nervous system and well being. Instead, as the case may be, they waste it on inner conflicts over impurity of thoughts.

With no mocking intended, such may be especially the case with those religiously obsessed folks "specializing" in matters of sinfulness. To them it must be an ordeal, as they feel that no soap can wash down the impurity of their sinful body.

And worse yet, they feel how they just can't hide from those eyes from above judging them.

One way or another, it always includes an authority, whether earthly or celestial.


Even Those Friendly Imaginary Eyes Feeling Uncomfortable

Now, believe it or not, but there are actually folks, otherwise relatively normal -- whatever normal may mean -- who think that their passed away dear one(s), or their guardian angel, or any other entity is always watching them.

During the day they manage to block that presence, while absorbed with the company of all those real people around them -- but it comes much harder for them as they are alone and taking shower.

Back there I was talking about clothes meaning a different thing in different situations, but it also goes for nakedness -- at least to some people.

So, having to undress at their doctor, or at making love, feels just O.K., but somehow being alone with their nakedness, all kind of self-critical thoughts consume their mind. That supports the statement how nakedness means something different in different situations.

Unlike those mentioned before who have a pronounced parental figure in their mental makeup whose voice keeps criticizing -- these folks don't feel criticized, but loved, even protected -- and yet they don't like to be seen naked by those loving eyes.

Those before felt criticized, maybe even laughed at, whereas these are feeling self-conscious, almost as if wondering if they still deserve being loved.

Which brings us to the end of this article, and I hope you found it interesting, or at least entertaining. I tried to show how strong may be our collective consciousness which imposes its different figures into a situation where just individual consciousness should be allowing us to enjoy our refreshing and relaxing daily shower.

© 2021 Val Karas

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