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To the Woman Who Owns Him Now

She is a writer who dreams to influence the readers through her soulful writings.



Never in my mind it came that one day I will write a letter for you, the one who persisted to be with him despite knowing that she is the other woman, despite knowing that there is a woman like you who would have a thousands of nightmare in the middle of the night, who would hide the pain yet tears were gonna fall, and there will be turmoil in her head.

You will never have an idea of how much it hurts me, how much it annihilated my sanity, of how the writhing pain keeps me awake at night, making it harder for me to breathe, and much harder to find my peace of mind. The impact was like a bomb which seems to explode in my chest, it made my whole being shattered into pieces, it filled my mind the questions of why’s, I always end up questioning my worth, was I not enough for him? What did he see in you that I never have? Why did he choose you? Why not I? and tons of endless questions. The pain was really excruciating, to the point that I have to conceal everything behind closed doors, Little did everyone know that inside I was wrecked, my mind was in so much mess, I have to put on a mask each day just to show everyone that it doesn’t hurt that much.

There were times that I had to stop from whatever I am doing in work, just to breakdown and cry, I’ll end up grasping for breath, sobbing drenched in tears from my bloodshot eyes with so much exhaustion inside my flesh. There are countless of anxiety attacks, but none of it was seen by others, for I am keeping it within myself.

Despite everything you’ve done, you know what’s interesting? I thank you for all you’ve both done to me, for I have seen God’s grace amidst of all these infidelities. I’ve seen how faithful He is, how close He is to those who are brokenhearted, that surely, He’s never leaving nor forsaking those who are trusting in Him and most of all, that God is love, for He loved me even though I’m not that worthy. Because of what you did I’ve learned a lot, even though I’ve learnt it the hard way. What you did made me realize that I must forgive, I have learnet what it means to forgive someone who is undeserving. Forgiveness cannot change the past nor can justify what you did, but it will absolutely give me peace, and I want that peace. For that peace will give me motivation to become a better version of myself, also it will free my mind from all the thought of being not worth it.

To the woman who owns him now, I hope you’ll love him and take care of him, for at least once in my life, he was also the love of my life. I pray for the best for the both of you. Bunch of thanks for making me realize that he is not the one for me, and also for awakening me from the truth that this is God’s way of saying of I deserve better. From now on, I will make myself better, so that if the right one came, I am going to be the better partner that will be able to love him unconditionally.