Pertunia Lehoka is a wife and mother of two, She is an Author, a Speaker and a Relationship Coach
We are all prone to falling
Twenty years ago, after getting out of my car, as I was about to walk to a supermarket nearby, dressed to the nines, I fell in the middle of the street in the CBD of Pretoria, South Africa. I injured my left knee. Naturally, a lot of people were eager to help me up so that I could quickly get out of the road, lest I be knocked down by cars, whose drivers were less than sympathetic. I looked around and heard some women laughing, while there were those whose sentiments were of concern.
I saw an elderly lady quickly approaching me and immediately when she reached me, she began chastising me for having worn bad shoes – high heels! I battled to get up as I was defeating my attempts to do so with laughter, while the elderly lady tried unsuccessfully to lift me up. I was also worried that I might end up pulling her down to the ground, which would then result in a serious misfortune.
“Hold my hand child, come on now, you can’t sit in the middle of the road like this. Are you terribly hurt?” she asked. I couldn’t respond to her as I needed to see at the time, who would, besides that elderly lady, help me up as I was beginning to worry about her safety. I felt a throbbing pain on my left knee as well as my ankle, even though the former felt as if it had disintegrated. Remember, I fell on a tarred road!
Anyway, as I was still busy debating with my thoughts, two gentlemen approached and attempted to help me. They soon noticed that my heels had come off and I was left bare-feet. Once again, they also concluded that those shoes must have been the reason I fell. At that time, about five minutes had already elapsed. Five minutes in a Central Business District is quite a long time, for someone to be sitting in the middle of the road reserved only for cars!
I nonetheless stretched out my hand to the now many people that were trying to help me up. I quickly picked up the remnants of my handbag, which had scattered all over. I do recall everyone asking me if I was alright as I was struggling to get up, to which my response was positive, even though I felt horrible pain on my left knee. In fact, I continued laughing at myself for having been sloppy, in particular for having worn the kind of shoes I had on. I limped along after thanking my redeemers.
I went from store to store in that state, eventually purchasing some flat shoes as well as some antiseptic liquid and other first aid necessities. My husband, who was waiting for me in the car, was unaware of what had befell his wife. I told him that I fell when I reached the car and everything that transpired. Needless to say, he was very hurt that I chose to walk about and purchase new shoes instead of calling him for help. What could I have done? My phone was broken. I had to apologize because truth be told, I had erred in judgment.
Arriving back home, I tended to my knee, cleaned myself up, applied whatever ointment I had and wrapped a bandage around it. Oh yes, you guessed it - I flatly refused to have my knee checked out by a physician and convinced myself that it would heal and I would be fine. I mean, it was just a fall. My poor husband tried in vain to get me to see a doctor. I was still a young bride you know and very stubborn. Did I just admit that?
Anyway, the feeling I had, that my knee might have suffered a fracture, had disappeared. I guess it was due to the fact that the pain was still raw at the time the incident happened, thus I convinced myself that I must have really had a bad fall, hence my knee was paining that much. These two proclamations don’t even go together – admitting that I must have had a bad fall and refusing to have my knee checked out. I mean, who does that?
My then three year old daughter was oblivious of what had happened to Mommy, but I am certain she must have felt that something strange was going on though, as I could no longer pick her up as I used to etc.
My knee got better after a while – two months to be exact, while I “doctored” myself, in spite of my husband’s warnings and constant rebuke for me to have my knee checked out by a professional. I did a good job of convincing him that I was truly getting better because something strange had murked my pain. Gosh, I even started wearing my famous heels again.
Unfortunately for me and 20 years later, my knee has started troubling me and now needs to be checked. Why am I telling you this?
Because I would like to discuss falling.
- We all fall sometimes. Others fall often…granted. After I had fallen, as much as I took some time to get up, I knew though that there was no way I could simply sit in the middle of the road and risk being knocked down by cars, while I made no attempts to get up myself. I stretched out my hand, got helped and eventually limped along, leaving that area of misfortune behind.
- Folks, remember that in life we all fall, we will fall and others are falling right now. The crux of the matter here is to get up, stretch out your hand and let others help you up – those who are willing that is. Others laugh at those who have fallen. Why do they do that? I mean, we are all human aren’t we? Anything that can befall one person, has a potential of befalling another and as I said, we are all human. There is no single person in this world that is blameless, not even one.
- After falling and subsequently attempting to get up, revisit the reasons why you fell. You see, I had wrong shoes on for the purposes of shopping. I bought new ones - unbudgeted for but hey, a woman can never have too many shoes! After revisiting those reasons, go ahead and limp along, nurse yourself back to physical, emotional, financial and spiritual health, using all the resources available to you; Psychologists, ordained Ministers of the word, the Blueprint (Bible), Business Books etc., depending on which area of your life tripped and fell. Then you stop self-pity and you start again, as wounded as you are.
- Pick up the remnants of your life, even if there are some which might have been broken, like my lipsticks and mobile phone had been. I picked everything up nonetheless.
- Never make a mistake of not seeking professional help of any kind after having fallen. You see, I simply cleaned myself up and refused to seek a doctor’s help but now, the pain on this knee, which comes and goes, will always be a reminder that I fell and never sought help for it. Let us remember that any scar that we might have, is just a reminder of what we went through.
Other wounds are physical, while some are emotional, spiritual and psychological. Make sure that you tend to those wounds as soon as possible prior to them needing attention of maximum proportions. What you simply ignored as one of those things, has a tendency to rear its ugly head years down the line. Look after your heart, your mind, your soul and most of all, your spirit.
© 2021 Pertunia Lehoka