Sunglasses Can Be Lethal To One's Personality
Now Here's Huey Lewis . ..
Think About It For A Minute
do you recall the very first time that you wore sunglasses? I'd wager that your parents sneaked on a pair when you were in your crib, and you looked so cute. Your grandparents cried, because you made their yearly-visit with your comedy routines while wearing your sunglasses.
But as life went by, you grew older, and so did the wearing of sunglasses--with your hectic high school (and college) schedule, there was literally no time. Occassionally, you did wear sunglasses that you wore for college: stern, serious. and without humor. College made you that way because you fell into a group of very intellectual students who all wore RayBan sunglasses (like those worn by Roy Orbison), read poetry, drank black coffee, and discussed the "Downfall Of Western Hemisphere's Political Structure." You may not have noticed, but the friends that I have just described were the very first Beatniks.
Sadly, this piece is not about Beatniks, highly-intellectual college students, drinking coffee, or having a personal identity crisis because you still do not who you are. You started feeling this way when you became a senior at your favorite college. (I would name the college, but I might get flagged for the name being too commercial). When you walked down that long aisle dressed in your red robe and mortar board, you were about to graduate when . . .you recalled your best friend, "Judyella Mixon," a strong presence in your life who taught you the meaning of rebellious. So with that, you acted on her advice and whipped out your sunglasses and wore them while your school Dean presented your diploma and then looked stunned, halfway put off by your open protesting of The Political System of your college as well as your country.
You Thought That This Gesture
of rebellion would be the last move that you would make toward your "Anti-Political Mindset," but you were wrong. So was "Judyella Mixon," who in a few weeks, a good friend told you that she had been detained in Mexico on some serious charge of peddling chickens into the State of California and breeding them to be trained to cluck as a protest tool to make their owners' nerves go bad. This "Mixon" gal was one shrewd cat.
You lost touch with "Mixon," as well as those close friends that you made in college, and you sat down one rainy Saturday morning with a cup of black coffee and you just sat taking inventory of your past life from high school throughout college. The result: very scary. You cried openly and said outloud: "I have really messed up my life, the parties, the boyfriends, and my college major, all because of those stupid sunglasses!"
Man, what an honest confession. I just hope that it was good for your soul. But now you are 23, holding down a job as a filing clerk in one of your city's biggest office: The State Office For Central Politics and the day when you filled out your application, you were wearing sunglasses. This habit continued when you were interviewed wearing sunglasses and it never dawned on you that the Human Resource Manager was frowning and making cute hints about your sunglasses, but you kept on laughing with her and see where it got you?
Sunglasses: Friend Or Foe
you have met with the stark reality head-on concerning wearing sunglasses that once, meant so much to you, but now, you feel differently toward this head-gear, maybe it is because you are older, and you know that older people, as a rule, do not wear sunglasses.
Personally, I can easily relate to this girl's plight and her journey through high school and college and now facing an empty life all thanks to her ONE fatal decision: putting on a pair of innocent-looking sunglasses. Too late now to go back and re-live those days leading up to when you felt a certain push from peer pressure from the Elite Class who never looked but fine, sharp, and cool, but always with their sunglasses. This is where your life began to change from the narrow pathway of where you made your own decisions until that moment when you started wearing sunglasses: nothing but deceptive devils.
I Can Remember
the first time that I put on a pair of cheap sunglasses. I felt like an idiot. Looked much like an idiot and talked like an idiot. If I were a slots machine, if someone dropped a quarter in my slot, the wheels would fall (the word) l idiot in every window. That began to teach me something about myself, why did I depend on fitting into classes beyond and upward toward my lifestyle and selling myself cheap just for a pair of $4.88 sunglasses. On top of feeling like an idiot, but I also felt like a needy-prostitute, for the meager payment of $4.88. In retrospect, if only the cost of my first pair of sunglasses exceed that of $4.88, to, $12.00, I would have felt like a happy young man , not a needy-prostitute.
But I was a little proud of those sunglasses with cheap aluminum frames and thin, tinted lens, and I made myself believe that I looked cool, in with the elite crowd, and a young guy whom the girls loved and clamored for me to call them. Even the adults in my day saw me as a smart alec because in the late 1950’s on through the 1960’s, the title of smart alec was hung around my neck and the necks of many innocent guys who only wanted to be accepted and cool, like me, for wearing sunglasses.
I suppose that you’re wondering if any girls ever wore sunglasses? A few, but not like those I wore. The girls found what was called, “Granny Glasses,” with small, aluminum frames and small, rectangular lens that did cause the girls to take on the look of an elderly woman or lady professor in college. But I give the girls credit for not being thought of being a smart alec.
The People In My Day
who wore sunglasses were like you expected:
- Members of Hell’s Angels.
- Rock band singers.
- Airline pilots.
- Famous actors.
- Famous writers.
- Famous, Successful professional athletes.
- Powerful politicians.
- Criminals trying to disguise their crime-ridden background.
- Navy pilots (e.g. Tom Cruise in Top Gun). (not in the 50’s or 60’s, but I had to include him for wearing those famous Aviator Sunglasses.
- Air Force pilots.
- Military brass such as Colonels, Majors and Generals.
- Successful lawyers.
- Successful judges.
- Successful doctors.
- Noted poets.
- State troopers, Metro police.
- Famous animals. (e.g. Arnold, the pig, on Green Acres/CBS.)
And the list, as you’ve read on occasion (in my hubs) is near-endless.
*The sunglasses-wearing people above are NOT just famous males, but “Average Joe” males, and this also applies to females of this description.
Frankly, you and I, and the entire sunglasses-wearing crowd owe the people in the above list for saving the sunglasses simply by wearing them in their jobs and sidelines. Truthfully, in my school days, just by me wearing sunglasses did NOT matter each way if I failed or passed. My teachers scowled at me wearing sunglasses while entering their classrooms—although I was never scolded for being rude or disrespectful, there was just “this” stigma that went with a common kid wearing sunglasses. This meant instant trouble that the teachers believed. See how fake rumors can materialize.
While I do admit being suckered into believing (as per TV ads selling sunglasses) that I would be cool, laid-back, and popular with the girls, but I have already went over this ground, and I do not feel like repeating again, nor do I, at age 65, feel sudden urges or whims to wear sunglasses, any sunglasses.
My apology, Roy Orbison.
June 19, 2019________________________________________________
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© 2019 Kenneth Avery