Sophie is a trans nonbinary writer from Alabama. They like to read and rant about different subjects.
And She May Be Right
It’s the end of the year, which means everyone (myself included) is being attacked by our Spotify algorithm. At first, I was super hesitant to click on the unwrapping since for about half the year I have shared my Spotify account with my older brother. He has a much more eclectic taste than I and spent most of the year researching country music after watching a 16-hour PBS documentary on the subject. But, for some odd reason, my algorithm stayed with me and read me for absolutely filth. I gobbled every small piece of information because I want to verify or learn everything there is to know about myself from an outsider’s perspective. Yes, even if that outside perspective was a constantly changing computer generated algorithm that mostly just told me my most played artists— being understood or seen really got to me.
When I decided to do the digitized unwrapping, I had just "broken up" with my partner of almost two years about two days before, so my heart was a bit tender. Before it told me my most played artists and songs, it first did an aura reading. I wish I could say that aura's are a bunch of make-believe, but after getting my aura read. I pulled up a few links for some tarot cards and crystals before realizing I didn't have any money to order anything. Anyways, a wash of blue to purple to pink appeared on the screen. At first, I was thinking that it was calling me "bi." I had recently kissed a girl and nonbinary person a few months prior (and yes I liked it) but never sat down and mapped out what that meant for my sexuality, but then I read the words on top of the screen that described my aura as yearning and wistful. Great! Spotify thinks I'm not getting any. Also, wistful.... did that mean that my aura was flimsy like a loose plastic bag that Katy Perry has been asking me if I feel like for years now. Maybe, it was romantic like a wisp of a candle flame. Either way, it didn't make me sound cool. In fact, it made me feel weak.
After the aura reading, the unwrapping continues to tell you about your most played artists and songs. My top artists were Mitski, Lucy Dacus, Japanese Breakfast, Lake Street Dive, and Soccer Mommy. Soccer Mommy and Japanese Breakfast were in my top because they were the two artists I was going to see live at a pride event in Nashville (sadly Soccer Mommy couldn't make it). Lake Street Dive was a band that my crush before my partner recommended. Lucy Dacus has been my favorite artist since 2019, and Mitski was a vibe early in the year when I was all alone in the winter and needed a push to keep going. The artists and songs made sense. Spotify was presenting me with numbers, facts, and logic. She is right. I am lonely, but we all are a little bit lonely on this massive floating rock. Music is a powerful tool that connects us even if most of the time we experience alone. I can't wait to discover more artists and songs in the future, whether that be by myself or with another person.
P.S. My "ex" removed me from the Spotify Premium family account a week or so after this unwrapping. For the first time, I had to listen to ads while listening. Let's just say my aura went from wistful and yearning to fiery anger. We are back together now, but for those few weeks, I lost my Spotify and a piece of my mind. Be thankful for your music and working headphones while you still have them, you never know what life can do to them.
© 2021 Sophie