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Shopper Etiquette Defined

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

Always be patient in your shopping.

Always be patient in your shopping.

The Title of This Piece

might be: The Do's and Don'ts of Shopping in Public, but that would be too corny,so I chose to let the headline above make my point. Simple, yet so complex. To think of it. Everyone who shops for whatever reason could, if they tried, learn the fine art of getting along with other shoppers and I believe that a line of dominoes would start to fall and send waves of joy into a many times dark and depressing society.

The task, shopping, can be in itself, a tough task to master. Millions of decisions must be made prior to and during one's shopping trip. Most people go grocery shopping either once a week or twice a week, but the same problems are still there even if a shopper goes once a month. Most every shopper knows you and you know them. Small talk is exchanged and no one really cares if you are doing fine or not and so on and so on. Shopping can, and does, get mighty dull.

So now, without any more rhetoric, I proudly give you Shopper Etiquette Defined. And by using this free, handy hub of helpful tips while shopping (in any store) you will come away happier, more at peace with yourself, and probably save a few bucks for your shopping task.

Let's Begin With

The Do's For You While Pushing Your Shopping Cart:

⦁ Keep focused at all angles of the aisles where you are shopping. You never know when a rogue shopper might run wide-open and crash into your cart (bursting a dozen eggs) without thinking and not apologizing. You wait for the apology, but only get a Crash and Run Shopper Thug.

⦁ Take your time as you follow your shopping list. Remember. Rome wasn't built in a day, so by taking your time, you get the best deals and best products. Patience is everything in the field of shopping etiquette.

⦁ Always be prepared to stand aside to allow an older shopper get the items that you needed. You will receive a warm feeling in your heart at knowing your good deed will soon be a hit among other shoppers.

⦁ (As in the above tip) . . .be the example, not following an example, of respectful shopping with etiquette. If an angry shopper accuses you of bumping their shopping cart because they feel persecuted, quickly agree and make an attempt to buy the item that the shopper was eyeing when someone else hit the shopper's cart, not you. This way, your giving nature will grow like wildfire and soon you will be a Customer of The Month candidate in this store.

⦁ Be kind to every shopper from the cashier to shoppers with ages three to sixty-three. And if an angry male customer who has been drinking before he went to buy more beer, starts to curse you out for (as he says) getting in his way to prevent him from enjoying a great drunken binge, apologize over and over until the angry customer's wind is out his sails and bumbles away from you.

The Dont's For You While Pushing Your Shopping Cart:

⦁ Although you are in a hurry to finish your shopping, do not give in to start tossing your items to the cashier in hopes that she/he will check you out before others who have stood in line for a couple of hours. Just be quiet and peaceful as you drag your cart loaded with groceries up to the cashier. They will appreciate it.

⦁ Do not yell at a shopper who has taken a box of rice that you were going to buy because the shopper just might \h be the wife or the store manager or biggest industry in your town and it will not be long before a police cruiser pulls up at your home and two police officers knock on the door and give you a summons to appear on so and so date because the shopper whom beat you out of the rice is suing you for insulting their character.

⦁ Never, above all, get angry at a child who is in their parents' shopping cart and yelling as loudly as humanly possible aimed right at you, just offer the parents a lollipop or a small jar of orange juice. The child will stop yelling and be fixated on the lollipop and be a healthy child by drinking O.J.

⦁ If you run into an old college buddy who has a big mouth, then proceed to start your corny joke routine, be mindful that other shoppers may not appreciate your humor and tell the store manager just how annoying you can be, so be Short. Take the corny joke routine (and the college buddy) into the parking lot and that way, no trouble for you and your friend along with other shoppers

⦁ Do not irritate small dogs that are riding in the shopping cart with another shopper, because the dog's owner just might turn the little mongrel onto you and you will end-up at the emergency room of your hospital. Be nice to animals and their owners. This is a great tip to live by.

⦁ Loud singing your favorite tune of days gone by is strictly verboen. Not everyone in the store where you are shopping appreciates "Sunshine Cake," by the late Tiny Tim and besides you were not born with a great singing voice. Oh, you can hum that song very lowly, but that is it.

⦁ Only a fool will open a bag or two of pork skins and potato chips and just sit down in the aisle and begin go munch while other shoppers are whispering and laughing at you. soon two things will happen: one, the store manager will come by and with the help of another male employee, forcibly take you out of the store and two, waiting for you will be two uniformed policemen who are glad to take you to jail because they were so bored on their shift that they almost went to sleep.
I would share more tips with you, but I have given you the best of the do's and don't's enough that you will not be cursed-out by other customers and be taken to jail.

January 17, 2021________________________________________________

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This is the one, Clarkie.

This is the one, Clarkie.

© 2021 Kenneth Avery