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Body Dysmorphia or BBD Why Do You Think You Are Ugly?

Body dysmorphia

Body dysmorphia

Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD, is a distorted view of our bodies caused by anxiety. In other words what we see in the mirror is not actually how we look. We all have the condition to a certain degree, maybe not to an extreme, but how many of us do look in the mirror and like what we see?

If you ask a woman, lets face it its mainly women who are always comparing themselves to someone else who is more pretty or successful, most of them are unhappy about a certain part of their body.

I know the feeling purely because of what happened to me when I was young. I never really thought about the way I looked, but because of constant bullying at school I ended up thinking I was the most ugly girl on the planet.

Why else would they be bullying me? I must have something wrong with my appearance otherwise I would fit in with the popular girls.

Of course now, many years later I realise that actually it was a personality trait that was 'wrong'.

I say wrong, because I did one thing that they all hated. I never bitched. I couldn't be nasty to anybody, and that's what they picked up on. The actual physical look had nothing to do with it. The trouble is, even though I knew that was the problem, it didn't stop me from feeling inadequate.

I am ugly I look ugly I have body dysmorphia

I am ugly I look ugly I have body dysmorphia

Many people grow out of this state of mind, and even though we moan about our appearance secretly we are quite pleased with the way we look.

I know that as I grew older I became obsessed with my looks. If anybody saw me looking in a mirror they would think I was being vain or big headed. But this wasn't the case.

I was terrified of being too ugly.

Strangely enough I was fine after leaving school. I dated and had fun.

But underneath all that I still felt inadequate. In fact the bullying and the mental strain made me choose the first man who asked me to marry him, whether he was suitable or not.

In plain English i was frightened to death of being left alone because of my looks.

Over the years I have always 'presumed' that my faults were down to how my face looked. I never felt confident.

The one thing we all have to face is that as we get older, our looks start to go. So you can imagine how I felt looking in the mirror and seeing an older face.

Mind you I now realise that my body dysmorphia is purely in my mind. Its my personality that has got me where I am today. For good and for bad.

But what about those people who really see a distorted view of themselves? I recently came across the story of Rina Nanase, better known as a Japanese adult movie star named Rumi Kanda.

Her total transformation is not only startling but downright strange. In my opinion she is seeing herself in such a distorted way that the end result is now she believes she is perfect.

I for one feel that the surgeon who performed the operation should be sued. He should have noticed that her bizarre look was caused by body dysmorphia.

I am no expert of course, but I see the signs. She has thrown herself into the type of work that tells me she feels so ugly she has to prove herself.


Rina Nanase completely changed her face because she thought she was ugly body dysmorphia

Rina Nanase completely changed her face because she thought she was ugly body dysmorphia


distorted view of themselves and their faces body dysmorphia

distorted view of themselves and their faces body dysmorphia


This is not the only type of body dysmorphia. There are many people, mainly women who actually see themselves in a different way to how we see them. It can be a facial disfigurement or the size and shape of their bodies.

Anorexics see themselves as larger or really fat, when in fact they are normal size or very skinny to the point of emaciation. Others will see just a part of their body that they feel is grossly misshapen or too large. We often wonder why people have breast implants that are so huge they totally distort the body.

A lot of the time its because they believe a bigger bust will make them more attractive. But sometimes it really is a case of what they see isn't what they really look like.

In other words they have body Dysmorphia.

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein bride of Frankenstein body dysmorphia hates her body and face

Jocelyn Wildenstein bride of Frankenstein body dysmorphia hates her body and face

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Jocelyn Wildenstein is well known for her extensive facial surgery to 'correct' her looks. The way she sees herself is a reflection of how her mind is distorting the images that she sees in the mirror. The more she changed her face by plastic surgery the more bizarre the outcome as you can see by her photos.

Her surgery was said to cost in excess of $4,000,000! She said that she had the surgery done because her husband liked her to have a cat like appearance. She is said to be happy with the result. She may have done this partially to please her husband at the time, but I believe she must have been unhappy with her looks to do something as dramatic as this.

Danny Bowman

Danny Bowman

Danny hails from Anwick in Northumberland England. Following his own personal experiences of Body Dysmorphia or BBD as its known, he is now raising awareness to help young people understand and come to terms why they start to experience this mental problem.

After watching his video I couldn't believe how such a nice looking lad could come to the conclusion that he was ugly. It just goes to show how our minds can play tricks on us.

So what is Body Dysmorphia?

The disorder is said to affect more women than men, and approximately 1 per cent of the UK population suffer with it. It can affect all age groups, but it mainly starts in the teens when our bodies are changing shape, and our minds can be manipulated by other peoples opinions of us. The majority of sufferers tend to be people who are prone to depression, or social phobias.

In other words the more inadequate you feel or if you suffer with low esteem the more likely you are to develop the syndrome. Over the years you will center on one particular part of the body which takes on a real phobia which can then result in body dysmorphia.

Plastic surgery can help, as long as its done by a sensitive surgeon who can tell the difference between a patient being genuinely upset by a large nose for example and someone with a mental disorder. All patients should go through a rigorous psychological exam before surgery.

As you can see, it doesn't always work out that way. Many surgeons will do the work without thought of why or how this person has come to the decision.

Beethany Storro

Bethany poured acid over her face because she believed she was hideous.

Bethany poured acid over her face because she believed she was hideous.

Mirror Mirror Leave Me Alone.

The one thing that people with body dysmorphia do wrong is look in the mirror. Constantly. This is totally the wrong thing to do. Why?

If we spend hours analysing how we look, our faces start to look different. It's a bit like when we see someone we know, but because they are 'out of place' for example not working in the shop we go to, or on the train, we start to look at different features such as their eyes, or mouth.

This can influence or affect the way our brains see those people. And they become distorted.

And that's what happens to us when we look at our own faces for too long. We pull our features to pieces.

The other thing you have to remember is that when we look in a mirror, we are in fact seeing our reflection back to front. In other words we know that the left side is actually the right side and vice versa, and our minds can get confused.

By looking at a photo of ourselves we then see the real 'us'. This can lead to our minds believing that actually we keep changing, and therefore we are ugly.

There are some cases where the person believes they are so ugly they have actually tried to take their own lives, or have disfigured themselves to try to improve their appearance.



Well I am happy with the way I look now. I was never that bad in the first place. But I am aware that I spent many years being scared of how I looked.

If someone looked at me for longer than a few seconds I would believe that there was something wrong with me. Was my face dirty? Did I look ugly? And so on. And yes, I still do it sometimes. Especially if I am feeling slightly vulnerable or unhappy.

I know its affected my relationships in the past. I am also aware that the reason why I got married in the first place was because I thought I wasn't good enough for someone better. We all learn as we go. The bullying at school definitely started it off with me. They called me ugly. So I believed I was. Simple as that.

Has it affected my life? Of course. I never felt I was good enough. Was it body dysmorphia? I believe it was to a certain extent.

Now I am happy with my looks. But when I feel depressed or unsure, I start to see myself ugly again. But I am aware that its all in my mind.

© 2014 Nell Rose


Nell Rose (author) from England on September 21, 2018:

No, don't be like that Annon, lol! I am sure you are fine. Just remember, its how you perceive it not what you actually look like. and just smile, it lights up your/our faces!

Annon on September 20, 2018:

Well now I feel worse. If what the camera sees is the real "me" then I'm for sure ugly because I look way better in the mirror than in pictures.

Nell Rose (author) from England on August 10, 2018:

So true Zulma, its sad isn't it? thanks as always.

Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon from United Kingdom on August 10, 2018:

Interesting hub, Nell.

More plastics surgeons these days are taking the mental state of their patients into account before they agree to do a procedure. That's a good thing. However, if a patient is determined enough, they'll just go from surgeon to surgeon in search of someone who'll do what they want, no questions asked. Sadly, these people usually end up having to go back to a reputable surgeon to repair the damage caused by the butcher who worked on them. It's a sad situation.

Nell Rose (author) from England on February 26, 2018:

Thanks Sonia, yes it is really sad when people just don't see what others see. thanks so much for reading.

Sonia Sylart from UK on February 26, 2018:

Reading this, I recall a very attractive young lady I worked with many years ago who was anorexic - she had several stays in hospital on and off for quite some time but soon each return home her weight would plummet. Such a beautiful girl, such a sad condition. Thanks for this frank and informative article.

Nell Rose (author) from England on August 17, 2014:

Thanks Deborah, yes its really sad to think these people believe they are ugly, our minds certainly play tricks on us sometimes, thanks so much for reading, nell

Deborah Sexton on August 17, 2014:

Great Hub

This disorder is very sad.. It's hard to image such pretty people can see themselves as ugly.

I really feel sorry for Jocelyn Wildenstein, these doctors should be arrested

Nell Rose (author) from England on June 02, 2014:

Hi Easy Exercise, thank you so much! I remember Karen Carpenter, what a beautiful voice and person, that was so sad. Age should be welcomed as we have our families around us, and beauty should not matter as much as health, thanks so much for reading, nell

Kelly A Burnett from United States on June 02, 2014:

Nell Rose,

I still cry at the thought of losing Karen Carpenter. You are saving lives and offering a pathway to healing.

As I age, I tremble when looking at the mirror - oh, age is a cruel thing yet if accepted with love and help from family, aging can be beautiful.

We need to change our focus in society - this article is critical to make the necessary changes.

Voted up. Very useful. Thank you!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 22, 2014:

Hi Deb, thanks so much for reading, yes its a strange and disturbing syndrome, and one that isn't looked into enough, glad you liked it, nell

Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on May 22, 2014:

Great story, Nell. I never knew about this condition, but you opened my eyes. Thanks for a piece of information that I might be able to use to help someone some day.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 22, 2014:

Hi kikinusbaumer, yes totally! lol! long live inner beauty! yes the kids of today have so much bombarding them to be beautiful its amazing not more of them feel like this, and have body dysmorphia, thanks so much for reading, nell

Kiki Nusbaumer from Chesterfield, VA on May 22, 2014:

Such a shame our society is so shallow and that cosmetic surgery is becoming increasingly mainstream. The young and beautiful are the worst, getting things done to themselves when they have near mythical beauty, while the rest of us look on and think it's the thing to do. It's so sad that we don't appreciate an aging face. We'd rather pull it taut like a drum and blow out the cheekbones into an absurd mask...a parody of the human face. Wrinkles are looking more and more beautiful to me every day. This was a fascinating article, Nell. Thank you for addressing these issues. Long live inner beauty!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 21, 2014:

Hi Glimmer, yes those doctors! It seems that money was more important to them. Surely they could tell that many had psychological problems? thanks so much for reading, and great to see you!

Claudia Mitchell on May 21, 2014:

This is such a disturbing, yet interesting article Nell. It's amazing the lengths that some people will go to when they are unhappy with their looks. So sad. I would add that I wonder what doctor would continue to operate on someone if they continued to want changes that were not good for them. Wow, this was an eye opener.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 21, 2014:

Hi Shyron, yes I read about Lizzie, what an amazing girl! with so much against her she picked herself up and I was so in awe! I did watch the video, thanks so much for coming back! nell

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on May 21, 2014:

Nell, I am so glad that you read the story of Lizzie Velasquez. Did you watch the video also? She is such an inspiration to me personally I keep the link so I can go and watch when I feel down.

voted the up across the board except funny.

Bless you my friend

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 21, 2014:

Hi stricktly, its so sad isn't it? people should be careful what they say to others, this can cause body dysmorphia, and even bullying at school can have a long term affect, took me long enough to figure out it wasn't me that was ugly it was them, mentally I mean, thanks, nell

StrictlyQuotes from Australia on May 21, 2014:

What a great article. I love that you were able to share your own experiences with how bullying affected you. I hope this will help others who can relate. I saw the pictures of the Japanese woman, who now looks very elfin in an Australian newspaper article recently and was so shocked by her transformation.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 13, 2014:

Hi Dianna, thanks so much, yes it took me years to realise that actually it wasn't me, it was the bullys that made me like it, I just wish everyone would see that with themselves, thanks as always, nell

Dianna Mendez on May 13, 2014:

Sad that you had to deal with such negative experiences in your youth. I see you as a beautiful person with much to offer others. I know people who may have this distorted view of themselves. I only wish they knew how truly lovely they were.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 10, 2014:

Hi Genna, thanks so much, bullying can have a long term affect on someone even all their lives, as you can see here, they may not say its that that has caused it, but it certainly doesn't help, thanks again, nell

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on May 10, 2014:

I have heard of this condition, Nell. You are right…we all have it to some degree that cause to feel a little inadequate at times. I’m sorry you suffered from that nasty bullying while in school; it breaks my heart to hear of such stories. Where do these kids get this from? It is still such a problem in our schools. You have shown us how devastating low self-image can truly be through the experiences of other women who have taken such drastic steps to alter their looks…truly frightening. You are a beautiful lady, Nell, inside and out! :-)

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 06, 2014:

Hi kitty, I think most women would scratch your eyes out to have your big butt! lol! I know of women who have implants, and like me have such a tiny butt that I hate it! but I do get your point, your brothers picked on the one thing that made you feel uncomfortable, and when you look in a mirror its always distorted anyway, so seeing it in a video puts it in the right way that matches the rest of your body, I personally think you are so lucky! lol! I want J lo's butt! thanks as always, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 06, 2014:

I just went and read about her, amazing woman.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 06, 2014:

Hi Shyron, that's awful that Lizzie is called the ugliest woman, its not her fault bless her, and good for her for standing up and making a triumphant come back, that takes guts, I will go over and read about her, thanks so much, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 06, 2014:

HI Jodah, thanks so much, its just so difficult when you are told day by day that you are ugly, takes a while to get over the fact and realise that they have the problem and not you, thanks for reading, nell

Kitty Fields from Summerland on May 06, 2014:

Thank you for this, Nell. I think more than 1% of any country's population might have a problem with this! Particularly women. I know that since I was a little girl my brothers made fun of my "big butt". Saying things like I could bounce to the moon on my butt, that I purposely stuck it out, etc. When in reality it was just the way god made me...how could I help that? I was never an overweight child. Anyway, I grew up and during my teen years people would refer to me and my BF as "@ss and t*ts". How awful is that? To this day I see my butt as being huge...when in reality, it is nicely shaped and a bit larger than most but I am still a small woman. I see my butt in a video and realize that it's not as big as how I see it in a mirror...isn't that weird?

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on May 06, 2014:

Bullied Girl Voted the Ugliest on the Internet Gives an AMAZING Speech .

This is Lizzie Velasquez's story. This is what I thought of when I read your story.

Shyron E Shenko from Texas on May 06, 2014:

Nell, this is so interesting. I just saw the girl who was labeled the ugliest girl in the world, and her inner beauty is more beautiful than any actress could ever be. I can relate to this girl.

My BMI (Body Mass Index) was about 20% (I am guessing) and I made fun of because I was so skinny.

Lizzie Velasquez suffers from a rare syndrome that prevents her from gaining weight. After being called the "World's Ugliest Woman," she made a triumphant comeback, rising to become a motivational speaker and teaching everyone the meaning of beauty.

Blessings to you for writing this.


John Hansen from Gondwana Land on May 06, 2014:

Both sad and disturbing condition Nell. I know most of us have something about our appearance o body that we don't like, but for some it is an actual mental condition and the image is distorted. It should be a crime for plastic surgeons to take advantage of these people. Michael Jackson was another example as Ann said. I am glad you came to terms with it and realised that you really are beautiful. Voted up.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 05, 2014:

Hi 101, that is so true, when we are kids we are being formed, and if that forming is warped in some way, then we can become mentally troubled, thanks so much for reading, nell

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on May 05, 2014:

Thanks for the explanation and illustrations on body dysmorphia. My last driver's license told me something no previous photo ever did--I am now an old woman; but I still feel beautiful. After reading your article, I don't take that feeling for granted. Pity those people who distort their features; mental illness is cruel in so many ways.

Alana Niall from Christchurch, New Zealand on May 04, 2014:

Very good article. I think at an abstract level we all suffer from low self-image. It is crucial to build strong image at the early childhood stage. This is why one should always be supportive of their children.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 04, 2014:

Hi mary, yes I blame the tv too, why does everybody have to be under 30 and look fabulous? we are all unique, and yes every single wrinkle is earned , well said mary!

Mary Hyatt from Florida on May 04, 2014:

I have never understood why some women are so obsessed with their looks! I blame TV and movies for pressuring women to be more beautiful!

As I get older, of course I get more wrinkles, but I have earned every one of them!!

Great Hub, voted up and shared.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 04, 2014:

Hi Ann, thank you! yes I believe Michael Jackson had it too, it does make sense, but of course others made fun of him, and bullying really doesn't help it, thanks so much for reading, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 04, 2014:

Hi Thelma, thanks so much for reading, and have a wonderful day, nell

Ann1Az2 from Orange, Texas on May 04, 2014:

Nell, it's hard reading your story and then looking at your picture - you're really quite attractive! You really have quite a testimony. I never knew what this "disease" was called. I believe Michael Jackson is a perfect example, also. He went from being really cute to being really ugly because of the way he perceived himself to be.

This story also brings out the cruelty of bullying and I think you made that point also. Thank you for raising awareness of both of these issues, Nell. Well done and voted up!

Thelma Alberts from Germany on May 04, 2014:

I have seen and read about those women who have this sickness. At first I did not understood them but reading this hub helps me understood this. Thanks for sharing. Sorry to hear about bullying you in school. Voted this up and useful. Have a nice week ahead.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 04, 2014:

Have a great Sunday! :)

Anan Celeste from California on May 03, 2014:

Bless you Nell. thank you.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Hi Faith, Olive Oil? Never! lol! its amazing isn't it how people tell you one thing and we believe it, after leaving school I realised that I was popular outside of school and then I got my confidence back, but yes the doubts can creep back in when we are feeling down, have an amazing Sunday, and good luck with the internet! lol! nell

Faith Reaper from southern USA on May 03, 2014:

Dear Nell, you are certainly one beautiful person inside and out! I am sorry you had to endure such bullying. I am always so saddened when, especially a young beautiful girl is told such, and it damages one's self esteem when it did not have to be the case. We must always choose our words ever so carefully. I never knew there was a name to this and thank you for posting an important hub. I was so shy growing up and had a bit of this until I realized years later after graduating high school that many thought of me in a positive light, when my perception was so different of myself. I was so tall and skinny and I thought I looked a lot like Olive Oil on Popeye LOL, except with lighter hair.

Up and more and away

I hope you are enjoying a lovely weekend. My Internet has been down and will not be fixed until next week. I am on free WiFi at the moment. LOL

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Thanks so much for reading grand old lady, yes I think most of us have these issues when we get bullied, we tend to take on their ideas and not our own, if they say we are ugly then we believe it, gladly I no longer feel this way, thanks nell

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on May 03, 2014:

I' m very sorry that you were bullied at school, and that this led you to undergo a period of BBD. This is the first time I learned of the illness, and it is quite a revelation. It's a good thing you got out of BBD, and this hub will definitely be helpful to many other people who read this, and may not have realized that they, too, had a period of BBD. Great hub.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Thanks so much Hackslap, yes that's so true, it happens to men too, and their mental state can be just as bad, I saw a few guys when looking for videos, its awful, thanks so much, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Aw thanks so much Audrey! Its people like you and other hubbers etc that make the world a better place, if only we could all have been at school together, that would have been amazing! lol!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Thanks so much Shelley, it still happens today with so many people, who knows what really starts body dysmorphia but bullying certainly doesn't help, hope you are having a wonderful weekend, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Thanks so much Eddy, yes it was pretty horrific my time at school, but after I left I kind of got my confidence back but there was always that little bit that would pull me down, have a wonderful weekend and thanks, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Thanks travmaj, yes what with the tv and films and constant bombardment from models no wonder people feel ugly and shameful, thanks so much for reading, nell

Harry from Sydney, Australia on May 03, 2014:

Body Dysmorphia's a serious issue regardless of whether it hurts women or men ..(yes men go through it too).. although I'd say the reasons can vary... if you've been bullied as a teen due to your looks it can certainly be the cause ..very informative hub!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Forgot to say ananceleste, get that sketch book back open, and start doing your drawings, doesn't matter what you draw, you are in charge, go for it, however hard it is, and I bet you anything you like after ten minutes you will be sketching again, even for a few seconds at a time, go for it, for me? I trust you, I know you can do it, I totally believe in you. Now believe in yourself.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 03, 2014:

Hi ananceleste, what you have to remember is that its all in their heads! there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, they are the ones with the mental problems, and social problems. it was cruel and it was evil, but you have to throw off those thoughts, because they are not your thoughts, its theirs. Jealousy is a funny thing, which I believe is part of their problem but your mum doing what she did was just plain stupid and ridiculous. From now on you have to stand in front of a mirror and say 'I am beautiful, the problem is not mine its theirs' over and over again. the best way to beat them is for you to throw of these feelings, and don't let them tie you to the past. you are fabulous, the only one who doesn't know it is you. So tell it too yourself, and excuse the expression, sod the rest of them! try it, and see your true self for the first time ever. don't carry their baggage, its not yours to carry, okay?

Audrey Hunt from Idyllwild Ca. on May 03, 2014:

One of the things I love most about HP is that I'm always learning something new. Your remarkable hub as brought me so much knowledge about Body Dysmorphia. I had not heard of this before.

How very sad this must be to live with. How awful that you had to endure bullying at school.

You are as cute as can be. Beautiful, inside and out. I second all that Paula said.

Thank you so much my friend for writing about this disorder. I'm so glad you did. Voted up and across (not funny) and sharing. Big hugs from your vocalcoach.

Shelley Watson on May 03, 2014:

I am sorry you were bullied and only because you had the most beautiful character trait of being unable to be nasty. That beauty still show on your face today Nell. Creating awareness of the pain and anguish that can be caused through Dysmorphia, is important especially with vulnerable teens. Up, interesting and useful.

Eiddwen from Wales on May 03, 2014:

I am so sorry you had to endure bullying at school Nell and so glad to be able to know you today. I am sure if we met one day you would be just the person I think you to be; and that is a very kind and humorous being.

As always Nell this hub so interesting and how sad to read of the sadness of others and also how they are exploited by professionals. Great work once again Nell and enjoy your weekend.


travmaj from australia on May 02, 2014:

This is really something to think about. I guess I have my moments but nothing bizarre. However, society today seems obsessed with perfection, and role models shine out from magazines etc.

Little wonder the plastic surgeons are doing great business.

So sad, as you have demonstrated, when you look at the photo's of Jocelyn.

No wonder Body Dysmorphic Disorder is such a problem especially amongst young people who perhaps are striving for near perfection and even when they are simply can't see thenselves that way.

Anan Celeste from California on May 02, 2014:

According to my family, I was always complaining ever since I was 11 or twelve. My mom used to try to alter something about me. At 8 my nose ( by pinching it with a clothe pin),it was too wide. Then making me wear shape wear and boned corsets by the age of twelve. Around sixth grade she would lightened my hair. I didn't get it until I saw a picture of mine when I was 13. I was distraught, I got all my pictures, lined them up and wept. I was bullied, even by my own mother. Because of those early "body modifications" that my mom did, my body was never the same. But I never let them see me cry. Thank God that Facebook did not existed back then.

I was a sketch artist in my early twenties. I did what is called a self portrait. I was horrified. I don't sketch anymore.

I married what my own family called " a man prettier than me" and warned me that something was wrong with him, by marrying me. When I had my kids. I had to learn how to conceal those "thoughts", I even let myself be photographed. I hate mirrors. Fat, I was a blob. Skinny

( when I got very sick) I looked " disgusting" ( According to those around me). I gave up on all of that. To complete the circus, I can't wear makeup for more than an hour. (Allergies) I am sure now, I have been told, that pictures make me look better that in person. So, imagine what they see in person. Maybe I was just unlucky. Even though I pretend not to care, even making fun of myself, I can't figure out why this is so ingrained in my head. I know is ridiculous. But it cuts the same.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi Ruby, that's terrible, why do kids do it? its there fault that people grow up to have this mental condition, I think people believe that bullying stops when you leave school but of course the affects can last a lifetime, thanks as always, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks Suzette, yes there's nothing wrong with your nose! lol! I think doctors or surgeons try it on sometimes to get more money, on the other hand these poor girls are being exploited, thanks as always, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks alan, yes people do and say things for all the wrong reasons, in these cases I do feel sorry for them, thanks as always, nell

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on May 02, 2014:

OMG the pictures of Jocelyn is so terrible. The Doctor who did the surgeries should lose his license. Like you said, it's a mental disorder. I'm sorry you were treated so badly as a child. I have a granddaughter who is overweight and is taunted by her peers. Great article Nell......

suzettenaples on May 02, 2014:

Oh my goodness! I have never suffered from this, thank heavens. While I am not drop dead gorgeous, I like how I look and I think of myself as beautiful whether others do or not. I once had a doctor tell me I needed a nose job done. I was horrified-I love my nose the way it is-I immediately got a new doctor. I'm not into cosmetic surgery and I feel badly for the examples you show in your article. If only those girls could see themselves as wee see them-as beautiful!

Alan R Lancaster from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire) on May 02, 2014:

Hello again Nell. As you say it affects women more so than men. One office I worked in I had a colleague who kept telling me how ugly I was, but he wasn't having a go at me. He did didn't take it seriously and we were mates really. He had problems I wouldn't want, but they were more of a personal nature. He went back up north again after his wife died. Her family cold-shouldered him after that.

Women seem to have a more acute awareness of looks (their own rather than others) and problems they have in that respect might translate into bullying others, to make .themselves feel better - but they don't. It can escalate. As it is you have the pleasant looks of somebody who's friendly. Happy with yourself. Keep it that way and you'll age well. Some, like 'the bride of Wildenstein' use their money to adjust their alter ego via their looks. The more they 'mess' the worse it gets until there's no way back, what with 'trout pout' and facial tucks.

You know they say not to ask to look in the kitchen of a Chinese restaurant? The same goes for the 'surgically adjusted': don't look under the hat!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks so much bravewarrior, I totally agree with you about how we do change but we shouldn't let it bother us, every single person on the planet changes as they grow older, and whether its weight or how we see our faces it really shouldn't matter, thanks so much for reading, and I hope you get out there and enjoy yourself too, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi ananceleste, thanks so much for reading. I feel for you. Was there any particular reason why and when this started for you? And have you taken a photo of yourself to see if it really is a mirror perception? I just looked at your photo on your profile and you are really pretty. I know you won't believe me, but trust me there is nothing wrong with you at all. Try looking at your face as a whole, and not bits and pieces of it. when we look at certain parts they always look distorted. as you got me so intrigued I actually went to look up a couple of celebs who I believe you look like, and yes they are stunning! Go and take a look at:

Ginnifer Goodwin and Olivia Munn. Trust me, you are very similar to both. I know you won't believe me, but ask your family, they will agree. I do hope this helps, and thanks for reading, nell

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on May 02, 2014:

Nell, first of all I want to tell you that you are beautiful - inside and out.

I think we all go through this syndrome to some extent at various times of our lives. As you stated, we become insecure about our looks when we're going through puberty and then again when older age affects our bodies. I think the key is to accept is and recognize that we haven't changed who we are and that's who people see - not the changes. Of course, I'd be lying if I said we don't silently note that someone has put on weight or lost weight or the eyes are sagging when they used to be big and wide. But we are still who we are. We mustn't let outward appearances affect us. I'm guilty of it myself. I've put on weight and stay home most of the time because I just don't feel presentable. I need to heed my own advice and get over it. I'm not going to lose friends because I've gained weight. That's just silly!

BTW, the women in the photos look grotesque. They shouldn't have tampered with what God gave them.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks Alicia, yes I believe that so many plastic surgeons don't take enough care when they are doing surgery, they take the word of the patient and just do it, they should check out their mental health first, thanks so much, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks Wiccan, that's really interesting, yes it definitely sounds like she had confidence issues, and of course could have had this, thanks for reading, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Thanks Billy, I do think there is not enough information about this mental distortion problem, it seems to have slipped into the wayside so to speak, its such a sad thing and something that people do need help with, I was fine, maybe mine was more confidence I don't really know, or it could just be a touch of body dysmorphia, but either way confidence is totally bashed when we feel ugly, thanks nell

Anan Celeste from California on May 02, 2014:

As I read this Hub my throat tightened. I have suffered BBD since I was a little girl. In silence, at first because of how confused I was, then, my peers would call me crazy, so I stop saying anything.

I bought some face cream last month, for my wrinkles, and my kids told me that If I was crazy (again) that I did not had a single line. I felt awful. If only they knew what I see in the mirror, NO ONE knows. I don't even wear makeup that often, because looking at the mirror for more than five minutes drains me. It wasn't until I met a young girl, with the same condition,listening to her describe herself and how people around her were commenting and calling her "nuts". I had to tell them to shut up. And talked to her about her perception of reality,from her side. We cried. She is only 18. I cried because at the age of 37, I still fight it alone. I don't want no one to feel this way. Great Hub my dear.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on May 02, 2014:

This is an interesting and important hub, Nell. The consequences of a distorted view of one's appearance can be very serious. I'm sorry about the experiences that you had. The photos that you've shared are bizarre and so very sad.

Mackenzie Sage Wright on May 02, 2014:

This is really interesting. When I was a teen I knew a girl who I think had this. We were taking some beauty mag test that tells you to rate all your body parts- eyes, hair, teeth, smile, figure, etc.; I was ticking off different ratings for myself, some 5's, some 3's or 2's... some things I was clearly happier with than others. She was giving herself 1's down the line-- she was a fairly pretty girl, above average, and it startled me. I couldn't figure out if it was false modesty or if she really actually believed she looked that bad. Great hub, such an important topic. Voted up!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on May 02, 2014:

Fascinating subject, Nell. I've known two people who had this and it was very, very sad. I don't know what happened to them; it's been quite awhile since I knew them. Anyway, very interesting article.

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi sparkleyfinger, its good to see someone else who totally understands the syndrome, i always have my hair cut to make myself feel better! I could do with another tattoo, but....lol! yes its always been my nose! I have a crooked nose, and I throw photos away if they look horrible! thanks for reading and sharing your problems too, have a wonderful day, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi Paula, oh thank you so much! you made my day, and I love you too, thanks for the kind words, I wasn't that body dysmorphic but I was definitely on the cusp so to speak, I could see how I looked but sometimes when i got away from the mirror I did panic! lol! have a great day paula, and thanks!

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi Jackie, you are so lucky not to have had bullying at your school it must have made the time there really pleasant. it was awful at mine, but of course body dysmorphia may not be caused by bullying, its a terrible mental illness, thanks so much as always, have a great day Jackie, nell

Nell Rose (author) from England on May 02, 2014:

Hi Flourish, yes those cat women images, how could he allow it? some surgeons are just seeing the money and not the mental health, thanks so much for reading flourish, nell

Lynsey Hart from Lanarkshire on May 02, 2014:

Voted up and interesting, but also beautiful as it is- you have overcome these negative thoughts! I have battled with BDD since I was a little girl. Luckily, I can always recognise it for what it is, however the thoughts creep up now and then. When they do, I usually go for a new piercing or a tattoo, as a way of being " in control"- I couldn't afford millions in surgery, and I wouldn't go as far as self harm.

In my later years, my confidence has somewhat increased, but there's always something that niggles me- my weight, the bump on my nose, uneven skin tone on my legs- with BDD there's always SOMETHING!

I'm glad you have overcome your bad thoughts, and it aspire to completely do the same someday!

Suzie from Carson City on May 01, 2014:

Nell Rose...Melanie! You are beautiful...precious...sweet...intelligent....talented.....lovely...funny...and loving. I do not pay undeserved compliments....I speak the truth as I see it and hear it and feel it. You are my English friend and I love you.

I'm glad you finally came to realize that you're as wonderful and adorable as can be!!........and we'll have no more doubts whatsoever, lovely lady!!

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on May 01, 2014:

Oh this is so horrible for people to go through and I am so glad you are OK; Nell, cause you are beautiful, inside and out! I think we all just think too much about looks when we are young, and chasing the cutest guys which usually means disaster going on looks and not on who they really are! I will have to brag and say that I never in all my years of school knew of any bullying and I don't think anyone I knew would have allowed it; but I guess that is just being country people who are just more down to earth and accepting of everyone. Oh; those girls with the plastic surgery; I have seen them before and think it should be against the law for sure!! Up+

FlourishAnyway from USA on May 01, 2014:

I'm sorry you had to deal with the bullying and years of self-doubt. You are a beautiful lady, and I am glad you understand that now. This was an enlightening hub. I cannot believe that surgeons in their right mind would perform some of these surgeries -- the cat woman's bizarre face, the human Barbie, and others. It is negligence, malpractice.

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