Joanne Kristin has diplomas in Journalism and Arts and Science from Fanshawe College in Canada.
So I understand that everyone is in a big freaking hurry today, time is pressing and with texting being fairly new way to communicate, we all like to keep it short and quick and get straight to the point. However, lets stop ruining the English language and inventing words that shouldn't exist in the first place. Really how much more time does it take to write 'probably' instead of 'prolly'? It's two frigging characters. In my eyes, anyone who uses any of these words is just an idiot, not to mention extremely lazy. They're mentally lazy. Is that a thing now? Writing correctly doesn't even involve a whole lot of physical labor. Are your thumbs that sore? Have you ever heard of 'Swipe'? For those that don't know what that is, Swipe is a predictive text keyboard, that basically allows you to type by swiping your finger along the keyboard. It actual requires you to know where the letters on the keyboard are and how to spell correctly, so I doubt anyone who practices slang inappropriate language is capable of using it. This can be much more convenient and allows you to be super fast when typing, giving you zero reason to have to actually take any unnecessary shortcuts. I cannot stress how ridiculous one sounds when they use these made up shortform words, and frankly, I really don't want to have to Google every single crappy slang word out there to understand what the hell you are saying. If this is how you write, nothing you say is worth reading anyway. So how about we go through a bunch of really dumb words and lets stop using them forever, for the sake of all that is good and true, instead of lazy and fake, because you sound like a flake.
So, I thought the word "bae" was derived from the word 'babe', but don't quote me on that, because after researching, I've discovered I'm wrong. I assumed it's what the cool kids were calling their significant other, because they're just straight out too damn lazy to type or pronounce the other "b". It sounds ridiculous, and in no shape or form is it even the slightest bit remotely cute. The Urban Dictionary, because yes, apparently we need one of those in this society today, defines 'bae' as a Danish word for poop, so that really just says it all right there. However, the technical term is an acronym meaning "before anyone else", which makes sense, but is just dumb. How about we all stop using it, and maybe it will fall off the planet?
As I mentioned above, 'prolly' is just a really lazy way to say 'probably'. Never type this, and definitely do not say this. This is not a word. This is an embarrassment to language. It takes two more characters to type 'probably' correctly, and since the same type of people are saying bae, I'm going to go ahead and have faith that they can find the 'b' on the keyboard. If you happen to use this word in your everyday language, you are stupid, and your parents should have paid more attention to you. You do not sound anything remotely close to intelligent, and I'm completely baffled as to why you are choosing to sound like a fool. Please gain enough strength to use the word 'probably'. Heck, you might even level up from your job at McDonald's. Otherwise, I can only pray that you don't have children. The last thing we need is another generation running around making up stupid words.
Okay, no. 'Woke' is a word vastly gaining popularity on social media sites, meaning you are suddenly aware of what is going on around you in society. It often correlates to racism and social injustice. It means you have "woke up" and are knowingly aware of issues that impact the community. No longer are you ignorant of the tribulations that apparently sustain the downfall of society, you have a moral obligation to correct this partial behaviour. Or you can just hashtag #staywoke and feel like you're making a difference. It's really a nonsensical way to pretend you are helping, while you pretend you know what the hell is going on. It's also really just bad grammar. If you're awake, or at least think you are, just damn well say it, otherwise, ironically, you're not really woke from anything are you?
The more I get into this, the more I want out. 'Fleek' or 'on fleek' evidently means 'on point'. It actually reminds me of when Gretchen tried to make 'so fetch' work in the movie "Mean Girls". Most of you will know that movie. It came out in the early 2000's, and there's an actually day dedicated to it, because this is our world now. Those of you that don't, don't worry about it, it's basically, a step away from the movie 'Clueless', and both are about as dumb as the word 'fleek'. I see a pattern trending. Often fleek is used to define how one's eyebrows look, and basically nobody gives a crap. How about we don't fleeking use it?
Amirite? No, you are not right. You are not even close to being right. Amirite: this sounds like the name of a terrorist organization. Apparently, using the spacebar has become such an inconvenience, that we are now just blending words together. I see this and wonder to myself how anyone can possibly use this so-called word and expect anyone to take them seriously. How about we not deliberately misspell words and consider it clever?
What? This is one hundred percent stupid. The only reason I would want anyone to say this, is so I know who to stay the hell away from. In no way does 'hundo p' even resemble 'hundred percent', but it just sounds like you never learned how to fully say the word 'hundred'. Does your tongue not move that way? The use of this word should not be accepted in today's society, so stop using it, and help contribute to saving the planet from the stupidity around us. I feel very sorry for the must-be confused people trying to learn English as a second language. How have we resorted to such laziness that we are incapable of spitting out the entire word? 'Hundo p' is one hundred percent wrong.
The development of the English language is on such a downward spiral, that I'm sure that people like Mark Twain and William Shakespeare are rolling over in their grave. How are we allowing such a beautiful language to get ripped apart, or oddly enough, put together? Poetry, as defined in the dictionary is, literary work in which special intensity is given to the expression of feelings and ideas by the use of distinctive style and rhythm. Next time, you attempt to use a word like any of the above, consider whether or not it would be capable to be used with 'intensity'. That should at least signify to you whether its use can be regarded as an actual word, because lets face it, 'prolly' isn't going to help anyone win a literary award, let alone find a job.
© 2017 Joanne Kristin